Wednesday, 07 January 2009

• Speed Dating, A Primer

  This is a guest blog submitted by Cuisine.
  
  I meet people through a variety of ways: bars, supermarkets, bookstores, the internet, social events, etc. You never know where you will meet that special somebody and I love meeting new people in general.
  
  Today...I want to talk about speed dating. I feel that, like internet dating, it gets some bad press from people who either don't like the idea of it and haven't tried it or from those that tried it once and had a bad experience. So...here is a mini SD primer.
  
  Speed dating usually entails talking to a variety of people for four or six minutes. You then either have to select each other or can contact each other through the system, depending on the type of event. You can also usually talk to people before or after the event.
  
  Some advantages...
  (1) Safe/controlled environment
  (2) Less pressure - most of the time you won't be asked for (or have to ask for) a phone number or date. You can contact people or be contacted through the internet...and it's easier to ignore an email than a phone call. :)
  (3) You meet many people, so there is a better chance of meeting someone interesting
  (4) You talk to people one-on-one except for the occasional "bring a friend" (2x2) event.
  (5) Themes: Profile match, lock and key, bring a friend, travel, fitness, etc, and for longer events...wine tasting or dinner. These themes make conversation easier because you already have topics to discuss.
  (6) Targeted groups: Some events target groups, making it easier for you to meet who you are looking for...if you are looking for specific age groups (20s, 30s, etc.) or ethnicities (Jews, Asians, Christians, Catholics, African-Americans, Latinos, Indians, etc.).
  (6) Mixer. There is often time before and/or after events...where people just mingle. At a profile Match or Lock and Key event that block of time is built into the hunt for a (lock or profile) match.
  (7) Singles. People are most likely single. I've seen some exceptions. :) See below.
  
  Disadvantages...
  (1) People aren't always invested/available. Some people do these events because they are not actually ready to date (maybe had a breakup) but still want to meet people or are there to help their friends meet people (and be supportive). Sometimes a person who isn't single is there to help her friends.
  (2) Like any other social event, these sessions can be hit or miss. You can have minimal or no success at one and incredible success at another. You will get some people whose social skills are a bit lacking and some people who can have a great conversation in 4 minutes. :) Go to more than one event.
  
  If you meet people that you want to be friends with or go on a date with...follow up. In general, men tend to initiate contact through the system more often and then women respond, but either person can initiate.
  
  I have met some amazing people through SD, some of which became friends, and some of which I went on dates with.
  
  In the DC area we have speed dating events through prosinthecity.com, thingstododc.com, and Hurrydate, to name a few. I tend to go to the Pros events - I may go to one this weekend.
  
  Have you ever speed dated? Would you ever consider doing it? 
  

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