Wednesday, 07 January 2009
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Separation of Church and Relationships
This is a guest blog submitted by onceuponatime0717.
My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for a year and a half (right now, we've been on for three months). We have just now gotten to the point in our relationship where he'll touch me, but our clothes stay totally on.
This is a big thing for him; he's always asking me if I'm okay because he dated a girl who cornered him into a lot of stuff and got him into a lot of trouble. He always instigates whatever we do; I'm not pushy.
Problem? We're both active members of a church - one that doesn't support that stuff pre-marriage.
He heard something on Sunday about our bodies being a temple to Christ and how we should respect them, so he pulled me aside and said we were going to stop fooling around like that.
I was completely okay with what we had been doing, and so was he until that particular moment in time.
Was he right in telling me that, or am I just being completely selfish in wanting to continue?
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About the Author
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- From: onceuponatime0717@xanga
- Name: Kaitlyn
- About Me: I'm Kaitlyn. Senior, finally. Going to Troy in the fall- major in Elementary Ed. I teach a fourth and fifth grade class at church, and sing in Belle and POD at school. I have an amazing boyfriend, and my friends are the best.
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Comments (80)
Okay, i was not a Christian when i lost my virginity. Now i SOO regret that! I have never heard of anyone regretting saving it for marriage. If you're truly Christian, it shouldn't be hard to see that you should be saving yourselves for marriage. Obviously, this is important to your boyfriend. And his loyalty to GOD SHOULD be first, and then to you. His priorities are in the right place. Keep this man and keep your vows to remain chaste before God untul your wedding day! Men who are strong enough to refrain from sex before marriage are more able to withstand the possibilities of affairs after marriage...think about that!
That also goes for you, too!
He's a keeper, gf, hold onto him and blow off the ones who tell you otherwise!! And yes, he WAS right in telling you that...and i will be praying for you to make the right decision. You need to put off the worldly lusts of the flesh for right now...you will be blessed for doing right! And you will be chastised for doing wrong....think about that...
Have you guys discussed marriage? Maybe you ought to, if you both love each other enough.
I think it's just that you two one 2 different pages. He heard the pastor speak and got touched by it (thus by the Holy Spirit) and he realized how wrong he was. And perhaps to you that physical aspect doesn't mean much. It is true that our bodies should be saved for one person only in marriage. First of all it's healthy emotionally, no possible STDs, unwanted babies, regrets, heartaches, and other things. It will be hard for you to work this out unless you both are on the same page OR you learn to respect his views and what he asked of you, meaning to stop the fooling around. It can be done but it requires a lot of maturity and partnership.
i think that.... as you learn more about christianity and stuff like yoru body is the holy temple, keep it pure and etc, like,,, you will have to go through that stage where you do agree. but. iono i feel like. in this century. its in a way... okay? maybe if you look at it in another way. you arent like corrupting your body by doing certain things if it feels okay or comfortable to you. iono. i think you should let him dwell in it. and when he moves onto the next stage... yeah...
but uh yeahs. lately ive been noticing how no matter what happens.. theres a double side argument in the bible. mind... im a christian myself. but like. if you are fighting a war and lose a fight. you say that,... youre just sharing the pain jesus went through or something and if you won the war, then you would probably say something liek god is watching over me. iono. just a thought. there are probably counterarguments for the impure holy temple thing
Oh boy do I know a lot about this one. Me and my ex got caught doing that same thing by our parents (Christians) and were made to break up. Now weve gone a lot further as ex's, and we've both gone through serious conviction periods and then backed down. As of today Ive strayed so far from my intentions to live pure until marriage and an all together Godly life and have suddenly just lost intrest in all that messing around. Im sick of choosing the sense of touch of my sense of self. You CAN do it, youll be amazed how far it can take you from God otherwise.
Well... it depends on your convictions. You should talk about it and respect each other. I was more of a no touch person. That all changed when I was going through graduation. People change due to stresses and thats one of the things that changed in the crossfire. Advice that my mom gave (a week too late) was that if you dont talk about it then it will happen. So talk it out <3 addy
Since you say you are a Christian, I feel no inhibition about what I'm about to write.
Our(As in, Christians) body is the temple of Christ. Anything we do to our bodies, put inside our bodies affects the Holy Spirit living inside each of us.
If he says he doesn't want to "fool around" anymore...He probably takes his faith serious on this matter. (Not to say you don't take your faith serious...but the Bible is pretty clear on "pre-maritial stuff"...) It's not because God doesn't want us to have "self-gratification"...He did it "more than likely" to protect us from the baggage that comes along with that stuff. The baggage of hurt feelings, STDs, unwanted pregnancies, getting a bad reputation, etc...there are so many reasons why the God puts rules in our lives.
If your guy doesn't want to fool around anymore...I think that takes a lot pressure off both of you...you can be intimate without being sexually together.
However, I've never heard anything that really says "loving yourself" is wrong...
I hope you guys both pray about this situation and are able to grow closer because you are putting God in the middle of your relationship. Without God...nothing is possible. But with God, everything is possible. =D
God Bless!!