Tuesday, 06 January 2009
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Why Ask For My Number If You Won't Call?
My friend brought a great question to my attention: why do boys ask for your number and then never call you?From what I know, working up the courage to approach a girl and ask for her number isn't easy to begin with, so why, after having done all that work, wouldn't you follow through?
It's like you do all the difficult things, and then not follow up for what might actually be pleasant - meeting up with the person you showed interest in.
So, gentlemen, why, after having asked for a girl's number, would a guy not call her? Do you really just forget? Ladies, has this ever happened to you?
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Comments (57)
Oh yeah, it's happened. I take it all with a grain of salt. It's a good way of weeding out people you're obviously not meant to - no harm in trying. At least I've got no regrets about it.
What's even better is if the guy says something such as "Oh man! You really need my number! You should call me one time and we should definitely get together!" For me that's an auto turn-off.
I would never asked for a female number if I had no plans of calling her.
My answer to you question is to make them look big, clever, smart, make them feel like a big man etc.
They do call, they just don't want to seem desperate.
Or they just ask for you number just to look "nice."
This is not a male problem. Women often don't answer or don't call men back when you give us your #s. heck, some even give fake #s.
We can explain not calling and not returning calls as not being in the same mental "state" (having the same feeling) the next day or whenever it is. I don't disqualify that theory....but I will add one of my own. Timing. The person gets busy w/work, hooks up with an ex, meets someone else, gets the flu, etc.
That said...if it is meant to be...he will call. Do not overanalyze it, these things happen. The right guy will call when he takes your #.
This has happened an awful lot to my best friend and I feel bad for her. I hope guys would answer this question.
i'm guessing some guys do it just to see if they can get numbers. i know some guys who just collect numbers just to boost their egos.
I personally think a lot of guys do it just to be nice, or know that they have that option.
I remember a guy (who I just met) asked for my number. I was not attracted to him physically. Heck, I didn't even like his personality and the way he was. But when he asked for my number, I did give it to him (to be nice). He actually called. I answered and talked to him for a few minutes. Why? Most of the time, he was talking to his "buddies" or his sister-in-law would be cursing in the background so loud. After that, I never picked up his calls again. And since then, if I'm not interested in getting to know a guy (as a friend or a boyfriend), I don't even bother giving them my number when they ask.
Guys who ask you for your number and actually call are interested. Guys who ask you for your number and never call, it's an ego boost or they're just collecting numbers from random girls. Ever thought they forgot your name and that's the reason why they're not calling? Or maybe they weren't that into you after all.
When my now husband asked me for my number, I told him if he really wanted to call me that he'd find my number in the phone book or an online directory. Needless to say he called me the next night. :D
I have never had this happen, but if it were to happen I would just assume that he wanted to give himself an ego boost, and I just happened to be there. Who cares if they don't call though? Obviously you wouldn't want anything to do with a guy like that. By not calling, he is doing you a favor. :)
I was told that in order to not seem desperate, follow the 3 days rule...personally I hate that rule, but when I do call the next day girls think I am too eager...
I've gotten a number...actually myspace/facebook name to search; And I didn't even ask! So I did look the person, added her because, yes; it is a waste of time for both parties to exchange contacts and not do anything.
She added me, I wrote on her wall because, "I might as well generate some conversation, otherwise why did I decide to search her in the first place?"
I'll let you know if she ever gets back to me.
-signed one month ago!
Come on, we don't call because we sober up and realize that maybe we weren't as into you as it seemed the night before! I've done it. Danced with a girl, bought her some drinks, got her number, sobered up, regretted the previous night, and then never called that number.
Some guys do the shotgun technique when they are out at a club, party, or bar. We'll ask for as many numbers as we can, and we start with the girl with the highest rating (from what we can remember, and minus 2 points to adjust for beer goggles). Maybe you missed the cut-off and he scored with the first number.
I've done it just to prove to myself that I can get the number. Now ladies, why do you give out your number and then not take our call?
Timing is one reason that has already been mentioned. Sometimes w/in that 3 day rule a better opportunity arises.
Also, sometimes you wake up in the morning and realize, ur jes not that interested nemore. kind of like the awkward day after a hookup.
Sometimes mind gets the best of you like. Maybe it was her just being nice and she's not really interested (which happens, nothing like the pity phone number).
also the fear she won't remember you, especially if ther is alcohol involved.
sometimes won't rememeber her. nothing like putting a name and phone number in ur phone, and not being able to remember what the name was the next day.
sometimes lose the phone number, or misenter it into the phone.
yeah ther are all kinds of reason, maybe his friend is interested in you and he doesn wuna step on ur toes.
think doesn matter tho. he didn call. ther'll be others lol.
Guys just ask for your number - so they can brag to their friends about the quantity of chicks they're scored*
Going: LOOK in ONE NIGHT I'VE GOT 10 DIFF CHICKS'S DIGITS
They dont even remember what you look like
Or whose monica / danica / holly / molly etc
i hate talking on the phone. when guys my age take numbers they tend to text instead of call...thank god.
It's never happened to me, but if it did I wouldn't care so much because he obviously doesn't care about me so why would I care about him?
It's all a part of the "game." Some guys will soley get your number to see if in fact, they CAN get your number. Sometimes that's the only reason. Sometimes they'll actually have a girl at home, but when they're out, they want to see if they still "got it." Sometimes to show off in front of their boys. It could be anything.
Another part of the game is, they will eventually call if they are interested, but not right away because they don't want to look desperate or let you know that they're sweating them.
Yeah, silly isn't it? But remember, these guys who play these games are BOYS, not men. A real man wouldn't play games.
@derektb@xanga - That is exactly what I talked about above: you weren't in the same 'state" anymore.
I always call.
I don't think there is really anything to explain the psychological aspect of this. It can be anything from being forgetful to ego. I mean, if drinks are involved in this, its possible to ask and forget or he might just need encouragement from alcohol again. xP Whatever the case is, if he calls, he means it. If he doesn't, its a fling. Whatever. Move on. you know? Until the official call comes, its unofficial. xP
No time to read all the responses, but...
1. Trophies
2. Options
When you're out scouting, you dance or hit on more than one girl. Maybe they got 5 numbers that night. They can really only call a couple of them. Did you think after getting your number he went home and went to sleep? Did YOU only give out a number to ONE guy that night?
I think its just to have options.
Xo