Sunday, 04 January 2009
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My Boyfriend Was Texting Another Girl
This is a guest blog submitted by LiLBallz16.My boyfriend had been texting a female friend of his for a while. He said that they had known each other for years through their parents. They had the kind of relationship where they would go for months without talking and then start talking again, but ever since they've started talking recently, I got a weird vibe. I chalked it up to my being jealous and never mentioned it, assuming they'd do their routine and stop talking in a few days.
Well, that was a few months ago. I even brought up the fact that I'd like to meet her - ya know, get to know her so that this vibe would go away. He understood and said he'd try to get us together sometime over break. Then the other day I stumbled upon some texts between the two of them just last month. He said that he still wanted to kiss her and that she was beautiful. I was shocked.
I confronted him and he said that he and I hadn't been doing so well (we had barely seen or spoken to each other in two weeks due to our work/school schedules), and he just started doubting everything we had. Turns out he had hung out with her one night and never told me. He even admitted that if I hadn't found those texts, he would never had even told me about any of it.
I was truly hurt. He's never really lied to me, but I didn't think that I had to worry about anything. Maybe it was just my being in love and not noticing anything.
He tells me that he hasn't spoken to her two weeks or so and that he realized what he has with me is far more important. She still texts him, but he promised me that he wouldn't text her or talk to her.
So the question is, am I just blowing it all out of proportion? Should I still worry about them?
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- From: LiLBallz16@xanga
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Comments (141)
wow you are definitely not just being jealous... good luck with that...
I totally agree with Ritz. I don't think i can tolerate such behaviour of my man lusting after another gal. I got a feeling that he could have already kissed her before since you mentioned "he still wanted to kiss her". Makes my blood boil at the thought of it.
kick him to the curb.
I think you should worry about the fact that he feels like he has to hide this from you.
Yes. Worry.
What a man-slut.
Tell him your not doubting your relationship...you KNOW it isn't going to work, because he doesn't have any self-control or patience.
Yeah, you should be worried about it! That's not respect, it's not fair for you! Did he at least apologize and give u a good excuse?!
No women should be treated like this... You should try and talk about it cos if u pretend nothing happened u won't go too far with the relationship...
That's my opinion haha actually I dunno much bout serious relationships haha
Good luck
I'd be so heartbroken and stunned :| ..but that 'promise' of never texting her or talking to her ever again is really thin.. and easily breakable ;/ Good Luck!
walk away now.
I may have a slightly different view. To me, it depends on how long you've been with this guy and just how much you like him. Is this guy someone you've trusted up to this point, and have wedding bells and baby names picked out? Or is this a six months or less relationship where you're not too sure about it and now this popped up? And how old are you? Anything under an age like 21 where you're old enough to get married and know what you're doing, the relationship is expendable and you'll get over it. It's not worth the drama at that age.
This could go one of two ways, and which way depends on what type of guy he is. If he's a sleazeball, RUN FOR YOUR DEAR LIFE. The fact that he texted this girl and "hung out" with her is sketchy. But if he's overall the love of your life and you really have been having problems for a while, it may be that he's scared of commitment. There comes a point in every relationship where you (for lack of a better term) shit or get off the pot. Are you together forever long term no one else, or not? Y'all may have reached this point and he may have gone "holy hell am I ready for that yet?"
In our relationship, my husband and I are both jealous. When I turned 21 (for tons of personal reasons, the largest of which is a screwed up family life as a kid) I decided I needed to sow my wild oats. I loved Russ with all my heart, but I was young and wasn't sure that I was ready for all that. So I went wild for a bit- clubbed and flirted and ate up attention like a professional. And he was flabbergasted... it totally wasn't like me. Fortunately I snapped out of it and we got married a couple of months later and I don't regret it at all. I had my chance to "break free" and he's really what I want. Maybe your guy needs that chance.
If you think it's worth it, talk it out. There's GOTTA be trust in a relationship to make it work long term. If not, and this guy is a few watts short on the trust lightbulb anyway, get out before you get any more attached. Girls end up making excuses for guys like that at some point, just to keep one around. There are better men out there, I assure you. Best of luck!
Im kind of crazy, but I always check my boyfriends text. Even though I know I don't have anything to worry about. I just have to make sure. He doesn't care though. So I don't think you are blowing it out of proportion. Being upfront isnt bad. Its good, I say!
Mannnn...I would dump him. That's pretty shady. If he felt like there were problems between you guys, he should have said something to you first, not finding consolation in someone else. It's going to drive you crazy in the future wondering what he's up to and whether or not he'll do it again.
He is an ass. Still, it's your choice if you wanna put up with his tendency to mess around. Personally, I'd kick him to the curb.
well obviously he has kissed her before and who's to say it wasn't the day they hung out? you need to sit his ass down and talk to him, tell you need to know the full truth because he obviously hides things from you.
If he said he wouldn't have told you about the whole thing if you didn't find out about it first, I don't think he would have any trouble doing the same thing (with the same girl, or a different one) and keeping it from you again.
Hi and i'm sorry to hear about your situation.
I am currently in a very similar situation. There is a guy I really love and we went through a rocky patch but it was a rocky patch that would have been easily worked through. Instead, he decided it was a good idea to be going on myyearbook and telling some girl how she was gorgeous, adorable, and sending her ''stickers'' saying how he loved her, needed to be with her, sending her kisses and writing little things underneath his stickers saying ''These are so perfect xoxoxox''.
I only found out because he'd distanced himself from me and so I saw it as a typical sign of cheating and did a search on his name and found him out, I doubt he'd have ever told me if I hadn't found it, in fact, he admitted it would probably still be going on there doing this stuff. Now he's saying he doesn't know why he did it. I have felt ugly, abused, dirty, disgusting and every other bad emotion under the sun since it happened.
We're trying to give it another try but we're having a few difficulties. I'm hoping we can sort it out but from reading the posts here, it seems like a dead plan. I wish you all the luck sweetheart.
Jen ''bubbles''