Sunday, 04 January 2009
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How My Big Boobs Ruined My Life
This is a guest blog submitted by love_hate_whats_new.
I suppose I can't blame it all on the breasts; they're here for a purpose: to bring on the squishy, jiggly fun. They even keep my hands warm sometimes... but they attracted all the attention I DIDN'T need. See, I'm Asian, so apparently 34C is a BIG deal. I always get stares and every time my purse strap gets caught in my cleavage, I make people walk into things. It's impossible to get guys to see me for who I am; I can never be the "funny girl" or the "smart girl" ...I'm always gonna be the pretty little Asian girl with "big" boobs.I remember walking into an Asian bra store. The owner of the store said (and I quote, verbatim in translation), "They're monstrous! Too big! How? What do you eat?" and quickly directed me to the section where pregnant ladies buy ugly bras. All the cute ones with pretty designs are restricted to B cup. My poor boobies were like outcasts, even at a bra store.
For fun, my friends wanted to give our boobs nicknames; person A had "mosquito bites," person B had "hills" and I was obviously the Mt. Fuji of boobies (I'll get to Mt. Everest when I'm pregnant someday). I hate that, I really do.
So now that I've gotten that out of the way, let me explain how being cute, sexy and owning big boobs and a nice badonkadonk has screwed me over.
GUYS: I've probably had all the guys I've ever liked have crushes on me at one point of my life for all the wrong reasons. If I want someone to see me romantically, he has to at least see ME, not my boobs, not my junk-in-the-trunk, but ME. The boobs make this impossible, even when I wear a turtleneck sweater. I try to hide it, but they're just there in my face, and ultimately, in theirs, too. It's impossible to talk to them, as their ears are all shut, their eyes are always looking somewhere they're not supposed to, and their pen-15 is up waving hello.
GIRLS: All my closest friends were jealous of me at one point and have done something to harm me for things I could not control. Guys like to hang out with me, chill with me, look at me, hit on me...and completely ignore my friends. Is it my fault? It's not like I want this kind of attention, but I've been hated on so many times by so many girls just because of my appearance. It's not fair; I'd rather be average just so I can have fewer haters. I hardly need a fan club made of horny guys. Seriously, if I know my best friend likes a guy, I would NOT date him...just for that, I deserve SOME better treatment, right? Girls are extra catty with me; this pretty much explains why I have no close female friends at the moment.
RELATIONSHIPS: Once a guy actually gets to know me and sees me for someone that was more than they initially thought ("dude, she's hot, I'll get laid, and ditch"), they leave me to spare their guilt that I'm actually someone more than that. I'm that well-packaged toy at the toy store, sorta like the PS3. Kids will always run up to me, push the "try me" button, play games with me and attempt to score points with me, but only a select few would actually care to pay to take it home. Expense is commitment. Good guys who are willing to commit flee from me expecting me to be a cheater. Guys who don't want to commit come to me expecting to get laid, only to get disappointed, so they stop talking to me.
I'm just an average being; I like talks, long walks on the beach, video games and I get random cravings at night. I'm definitely all for marriage and monogamy. I even want to be a doctor someday. Why is it that pretty girls with a nice body always have to fit into some "skanky" stereotype? I can have boobs and brains too; I'm getting the degree to prove it. Sometimes, I wish I could just be an A or B cup; at least I could wear a push-up bra or something if I wanted fuller looking breasts.
What can I do to get the right attention that I deserve? I'm trying to appreciate my body as much as I can, as I can't seem to fit in ANY Asian stereotypes....but guys are making this so hard for me. What should I do?
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- From: love_hate_whats_new
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Comments (216)
Imagine being a 40DD.
Bra shopping is horrendous.
And its not about you sweetie, its about the assholes on the outside.
If no one wanted to buy a PS3 well Sony would be out of business. Wait for the right buyer ;)
It's not so great on the other side of the tracks, you know. Ever heard of "lesbian boobs?"
I can't compete with that first comment, even though I'm a guy and might have come up with something better, I'll leave it alone.
trust me, i know where you're coming from. my whole life, from the time i was probably 12 or 13, i've always had big boobs. i went from nothing to a C in no time, i've always got the creepy stares from the old men. My boobs got the their biggest at a 34F. not only is all the attnetion annoying sometimes, but i had the hardest time finding cute shirts without looking skanky, i could never shop at hollister and a&f and all those trendy stores that all my friends shopped in because my boobs were just too big.
i'm happy too say, they hav gotten a little smaller with weightloss and I'm down to a 32DD. But I still wish they were only maybe a C :/
As a girl with 32B boobs, I can tell you that it's just as bad having
small boobs. Almost all my friends are Cs and Ds, so they get hit on
more when we go out. I hate it, it makes me so jealous.
If you are patient, I'm sure a guy will come along that will see you
for who you are. Don't worry about fitting into any "Asian
stereotypes"-you are you, and you should be happy to be the girl that
you are. Good luck
I wish I could be of some help here. However, I fit into the size where a push-up is a must. I have spent my teenage years wishing to be where YOU are. I have often wished to be a C cup. That way, guys won't look at me as just a friend. (Or a thirteen year old.) I mean, it sucks being almost nineteen years old and have people think my boyfriend (18) is some pedophile or something.
All I can say is, you learn to love yourself. And no one can really tell you how. YOU have to come to that conclusion yourself. Stop obsessing over the negatives (or in your case: positives
) and start appreciating the good stuff. Your eyes or legs or flat stomach, etc. I mean, I learned to love my small chest by realizing that I can wear whatever I want without spilling out. You, on the other hand, don't have to spend an hour in the bathroom (like I do) to turn heads. Make sense?
I wouldn't blame it all on the boobs. My girls all have huge boobs and have ALWAYS been made fun of for it. Their reactions? Go along with it and make fun of themselves! Eventually people stop seeing their bra size and started seeing who they were underneath.
And yeah, to a certain extent girls will be catty, guys will be driven by sex. Don't worry too much about it. There are other guys and other girls out there who don't fit the stereotype.
@photochic226@xanga - Makes sense. :D Agreed.
My mom always talks about how 'big' my boobs are. I don't think I do. >_>;
I lightweight know how you feel. I'm Asian, well Filipino, but that still counts depending how you look at it. My boobs are about the same size as yours and I've been through basically the same situations as you.
I just think that if you want to get the right kind of attention, change your style of clothing. You never mentioned your style, but for me, wearing a size smaller bra pushes my boobs down a little to make it look smaller. If that doesn't work, additional layers of clothing help too.Try wearing a tank top or beater under your tee. Or if you're the type who wears more dressy kind of shirts add accessories like scarves or simply wear a jacket or cardigan. It's best to leave them unbuttoned/zipped and just have them covering your boobs.
I hope my suggestions made sense and help you. (:
Theres only one solution. . . .breast reduction, make your boobs smaller =D if such a procedure exist if not then you can always strap them down and where a big tee-shirt, you pick ^_^.
I once dated a girl with HUGE boobs, the ones that can eclipse a man's head. However, she was not Asian, so the comparison could be somewhat unfair. As a male, I do love to look at boobs, especially nice, large boobs. But this isn't all I see. I like pretty eyes, face, and even hair. I think every woman is an entire picture, not just synecdoche. Now personally, I like to get to know people, and see the whole picture. Sometimes the rest of picture lessens it overall, sometimes it enhances it. My point is that you're looking at you breasts negatively, when you should make it positive. You are not your boobs, they are just part of you. Any man that can't respect that is an idiot. Any girl that can't see past her own insecurities isn't worth your time. So be proud of those melons. It's the hand you've been dealt, and just because it's a great hand doesn't mean you have to fold to spare your friends.
@mywordsx@xanga - Thanks :) I wasn't sure if I made sense or not.
I hate having big boobs too because they sag. NOT attractive. I wear a 34D.
thanks for this post
i know what you mean besides the "trying to fit asian stereo types", you WANT to be a stereotype?, just try to be yourself and you'll find you're allowed to and still have friends and boyfriends, you may find truer ones then you have now. i did
I wish I had bigger boobs. I don't think mine even exist. But I guess A's are better than having boobs that are TOO big.
But yes, I have friends who have the same problem as you, and if the guy only wants you because of your appearance, then he is not worth it. Someday you'll find someone who will notice your face and smile before your chest.
But if you want to hide them, I think the best way to do that is to wear baggier shirts or dark colors. Or wear something that will distract and draw the eye to another body part.
Sports bras work well too.
u should be who u wanna be!!! =)
Stand up for yourself. When you catch men staring at your boobs, MAKE THEM look you in the eye. You can't just be a passive victim of objectification for the rest of your life because you were blessed with a good body. Catch men staring and call them out on it.
I'm not certain if by "marriage and monogamy" you mean "no sex until marriage", but if that IS your outlook, than you're also probably scaring away plenty of nice guys who like you for who you are, but simply, quite reasonably, recognize that all romantic relationships have a sexual element and view your uncompromising and sexually repressed outlook as too high maintenance.
@misswonderj@xanga - Great metaphor. Just gotta wait for the right "buyer" who can overlook that aspect of you.
My first long term girlfriend had about the same breast size as you. Funny thing is that I didn't really noticed how big they were until after we started going out. You know what caught my attention first, physically? It was her eyes and hair, seriously haha.
Lolllll. You shouldn't have to do anything--just be your damned confident self, The smart, good guys will be attracted to that, right after you're slapped them in the face for staring at your chest for a moment too long. Trust me.
This is a really funny post to me, since I have a lot in common with you.. I'm a five foot-tall Vietnamese girl with, wait for it.. 34D/DD breasts. I know, I know, just imagine what that Asian lady at the lingerie shop would say to ME, right? I just lol thinking about it, haha. Sweetie, just go to Victoria, cry on her shoulder, and have her pick out a pretty bra for you and feel better.
don't worry about fitting into asian stereotypes, you're an individual with your own personality and character. as for this boob problem, i can be of no help here, other than to tell you to find friends who aren't jealous (yes they do exist and those are true friends), and wait for the guy who sees beyond your chest, because when he finally comes and sees your worth he'll be amazing. i know it's not as simple as waiting, trust me, but there's really not much else to it.
I'm sorry wut did you say? I was too busy thinking about how your boobs look. :D
Only joking xD. Most guys around you are going to want you for your looks, lets be honest. That's the first thing that attracts them, since they don't know you well enough to know your personality. You should not hide them. They're going to draw guys in, which gives you the chance to show them your personality. If they're not interested in you (probably looking at your boobs most of the time rather than your eyes) just leave them to rot o.o?
The right buyer (as stated above) will come along soon.
I have had big boobs all my life and I never really thought anything of it, until I got to high school and the boys started staring at them. It always made me uncomfortable because it just pissed me off and I took it as such a sign of disrespect. Now that I am older and the boobs have shrunk a little due to weightloss, I still get stares. Problem is, I don't care anymore. Men are hardwired to stare at boobs and are visually stimulated, in general. So I let them get an eyeful. I know that the right guy will look up at me, some day.Â
I think, to a certain extent, the big boobs have ruined some things for me. Men do not take me seriously and I have to always prove myself. I have to work harder and be twice as sharp as them just to get the same respect. I hate being seen as the girl with big boobs. I have a brain and a dazzling personality so I am just hoping for the right person to come along. So far, he has not.Â
Xo
I'm actually asian and I wear the same cup size as you (go us!). Oddly enough, I haven't had any problems with that; perhaps it's because they didn't become Cs until I was 20 and out of the dating scene (I met my bf when I was still a B cup)?
I think you'll find that it becomes less of an oddity in time; a lot of asian girls have larger breasts and are taller than those of the previous generation. In the meantime, focus on yourself and getting your degree, and ignore the horny guys and catty girls.
People who are actually worth caring about are also those who stay after they get to know you --it's ok if you aren't friends with half the campus, really, and it can take some time to meet decent people and make real friends. Don't despair!