Saturday, 03 January 2009
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What's Intimidating about A Girl?
This is a guest blog submitted by lovemigraine.There are so many types of girls and, in my experience, all the good guys are usually shy. There are even those guys that seem like they'd be forward, but when it comes to a girl, they get all tongue-twisted.
I've always thought that confidence is attractive and makes guys notice you, but I never really knew it could have the opposite effect. Sometimes if you dress too nicely or try too hard to impress, you may come off as high maintenance or seem like someone who's out of most guys' league.
What are things that a girl does that intimidates a guy? The way she carries herself? The way she acts?
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- From: lovemigraine@xanga
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Comments (52)
usually... both. I mean first of all, if we're shy we're shy.
and if we're usually foward and get shy around girls, most likely that "foward" appearance has always been a front. Because to be honest, You girls are quite scary. We don't like being flat out openly rejected (its one of the things men fear the most). And sometimes it's quite rare and strange to see a female who is beautiful and confident. They might be already taken or she'll domintate me.
I don't know. I'm just a random rambler when it cemos to relationships i guess. Good luck finding out a cure for this dilema. :D
maybe it's not that they're shy it's just that they're not trying hard enough or are being too subtle. I HATE subtlety! Unless it's an obvious subtle then thats ok.
Just man up & grow some balls. We like it when men take charge.
;D
I would have to say that in my experience, I did start to get more attention when I became more comfortable with myself. I think it has to be a balance. You can't have yourself be too dolled up because I would think that makes you seem like a snob and high maintenance from first glance and immediately gives the wrong impression which impacts the reactions to you, but you can't be too forthcoming because you come off as dominant and a lot of guys don't respond well to dominant girls either because they themselves may see it as diminishing to their manhood or they just see you as trouble from the start. I would say, just be comfortable and guys will sense that and that's when they are more likely to talk. If you are comfortable and yourself, you are confident without being cocky and if you look good but not glammed, you will also feel more confident (when I'm glammed up, I tend to feel confident I look good, but not so much comfortable ><)
Everything in life it seems to be all about balance ^_^
Lots of things can be intimidating about a girl. I'm not a guy who gets intimidated though, but anyway:
Intelligence. Just because a girl has intimidating intelligence doesn't necessarily mean the guy is stupid and/or insecure.
Appearance. Yup, high maintenance is intimidating. Overwhelmingly hot is also intimidating, but nothing they can do about that, and they're probably not single anyway
Attitude: Sorry to be racio-stereotypical, but last time I was out clubbing this group of 8 Korean girls gave my wingman the most scathing you-are-disgusting-stay-the-F-away-from-us look I've seen in a long time. I got a we're-way-out-of-your-league-nice-try-keep-dreaming-go-find-a-nice-girl-elsewhere look.
I-Have-A-Boyfriend Aura: Yeah, girls give it off. We can tell. Sorry to let the secret out guys.
Girls who don't immediately jump into the conversation or who seem to exude little confidence in themselves are intimidating. It makes them seem as if they don't know what they want, which translates to high maintenance, which translates to not worth my time. Want guys to be all over you? Exude the same confidence you expect from men while accepting no less in return.
@MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio@xanga - Haha, about the "I have a boyfriend aura" - it's SO true! Some girls who don't have a boyfriend also unintentionally give it off, though, particularly when they're coming out of a relationship or are seeing some one who isn't their boyfriend but that they are totally enamored with. Either way, it's a major turn off.
@MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio@xanga - Hahaaha what the heck? You're so funny!
Well, that is the thing nice guys aren't exactly shy. They are nice. We tend a little more respectful than other men. We do our best not to offend or cause uncomfort for a woman. I know that I tend to attempt to say how I feel in a subtle sly way. It never works. But I am just afraid to do something that will be consider disrespectful or cause a woman to be uncomfortable.
Also, I know that when I really like a woman I get this way. When I am looking for a "friend" I know I am very blunt with how I am.
@MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio@xanga - that's actually true. I'm sure at least two of these have scared a guy shy.
Xo
If you're friendly and show an interest in knowing someone it can make even the most gun-shy fellow warm up to you. Sometimes guys sense that you're not interested in having anything to do with them and they politely leave you alone - and of course that's not always the impression you meant to give.
If the guy is a "keeper" a little kindness will go a long way.
i think many things can be intimidating about a girl. even the look on her face can scare a guy away. i think it's mostly how they carry themselves. or how they talk. If they talk more mature it may seem as though they're more independent. If they put 'like' in between every word, a guy may think that she is less mature and therefore easier to approach. but it varies with the boy as much as it does with the girl.
i get too intimidated by everyone... i have a hard time talking to everyone... and when it comes to girls its even worse. im just super shy, and worry that if i mess up and say something offensive, it would lead to bad things. im a super pessimist so... its hard to talk to a girl that i do not know.
im very shy around new people, and almost never talk... but once i am comfortable... its alright, but even then i am still shy since i don't talk so much and don't like to open up. lol
its not just girls being intimidating. guys can be intimidating too.
I think it's the way they dress, act and talk. A super preppy girl who's confident but where's Hollister and hangs out with all the jocks will often seem intimidatin and vice versa.
What's intimidating about a girl? The fact that she's a GIRL!
Seriously ... most of it is probably in the attitude. If she acts approachable, no prob. If she's stand-offish, big prob.
Way too flirty is also intimidating. Nothing like a girl you know nothing about coming on way too strong. Joke a little, make eye contact, but don't be ridiculously sultry, kay?
Also, if you're walking with a dude that could beat the heck out of me? You'd better make darn sure everybody knows he's your brother ... or I'm so somewhere else.
The manner in which a girl dresses can be intimidating because they may come off as being from a different social status, or just too high maintenance. If I see a girl joking around comfortably, that makes me feel more comfortable to talk to her. Plus, if a girl is beautiful, I automatically think she may have a boyfriend, and I don't go for girls who have boyfriends.
Why are male/female relationships so complicated? It doesn't have to be this waaaaaaayyyyyyyyy!
No one has schooled with on the rules of the game. :shakes head and cringes:
lol
@MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio@xanga - Not to be "racio-stereotypical" either, but sadly, I'm not too surprised about the Korean thing...and I'm half-Korean myself. But from my own experience, half-Korean means "not Korean." Not really all that disappointed, though. Some Korean girls seem to be really clique-y and I don't really understand why. But of course the intimidation level rises when girls are in groups, no matter what race.
Anyway, I wonder if I come off as being intimidating...because I rarely get approached by guys, and when I do they fall into one of two categories: Thug off the street (I live in the D.C. area...poor me) or the quiet type. I'm not high maintenance at all though...my idea of dressing up is definitely not make-up or high heels or designer bags. I don't even wear makeup on a daily basis. I always thought that doing so would attract more guys, but seeing as how that can be kind of intimidating, maybe it's something else about me that keeps them away.
In Japan, obviously it's the fact that I'm not Japanese that they won't approach me
though last night I got approached by a guy who wanted to go drinking with me...he looked kinda old and already drunk...and he might have thought I'd be easy...but that's another story for another time.
sounds kind of crude, but for me the more a girl objectifies herself (bombshells) the more i tend to treat her as an object. it's not intimidating at all, it just kind of sucks because she's more of a thing than a person to me. then again, some girls like that too I suppose.
@MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio@xanga - hahaha...i'm not racist either but some of the koreans at my school are so obnoxious when they're together...
some hot girls have a snobbish, "i-only-talk-to-certain-people" aura about them...yuck.
however, there are girls who are hot but very down-to-earth and genuine.
which of these two categories the hot girl falls into...is not always determinable before you talk to the girl.
i don't understand why a guy would assume that a girl had a boyfriend only because she is hot...she doesn't necessarily want to have a bf all the time and may enjoy time flying solo!
Hotness. Hotness is intimidating. How she carries herself or whatever is irrelevant. If she understands my glorious sense of humor, it puts me slightly at ease.
lol my bf told me when he first saw me I looked intimidating
But once he saw me talking to everyone and laughing along with them
He then decides to approach me :)
if a girl normally wears a t-shirt & jeans & then one day suddenly starts wearing very classy clothes (dressing to impress), then yes, too much is correct. But if a girl (or woman, whatever), normally wears that kind of stuff & can pull it off, then good for her.
@RoidBear@xanga - this is true
I've been called intimidating before...i think it's the smarts and sharp eyes. I'm also pretty aloof when i meet someone for the first time. If someone isn't willing to see past that though, i don't bother thinking of them in that way in the first place...
obviously, i like a guy to have some guts (my current bf didn't think he had a chance, but asked me on a date anyway, believing he'd get rejected.), but of course, he's also gotta have manners :D
Treat people the way you want to be treated, and you will find what you want. Don't get scared off because someone is a little stand-offish or really smart, or really pretty; it's no way to live.
to all you SHY guys out there...the worst thing a girl can do is say NO..but you'll never know that unless you go for it...we only live once nah mean...just b your freakin self..forget tryin 2 b a player or a fake...be you...at the end of the day if the girl really likes you, you would want her to like YOU for YOU...and trust me..its hard 2 find a girl like that...