This is a guest blog submitted by RoidBear.What is truly the best (and safest) way of breaking up with a person? Breaking up with your girlfriend/boyfriend can be a difficult thing to do and it can be different for everyone.
I'll share my experience with you: My last girlfriend broke up with me. I'm not afraid or embarassed to say it.
We never argued, never yelled at each other, and I never did anything to give her any reason to break up with me. We had been going out for almost six months, and one day she sent me a text message telling me to check my email. I tried calling her back, but her phone was turned off, so I logged in to check my email. The email from her said she didn't want to continue with our relationship. She said she was having shoulder pain and wanted to focus on getting better, along with focusing with school. I replied to her email, but never received a response.
Now I've heard of ways people break up with each other, but I had never heard of break ups through email, let alone experienced it before.
I still don't understand how I'm related to the shoulder pain that she had to go to the extreme to break up with me, but that was her main argument. WTF? Why did she continue a relationship for
six months to blow it all off in one short, misspelled email message? I have moved on (this happened about 10 months ago) and don't have any feelings for her anymore, but it's something that is bizarre to me. Why didn't she call me to tell me she didn't want to continue the relationship if she couldn't tell me in person?
I talked to one of my friends about what happened to me and she told me that maybe my ex was too afraid to tell me in person, that maybe she couldn't muster the courage to tell me face-to-face. In my opinion, breaking up with someone through an email is
cowardly (this is one of the main reasons why I can never be friends with my exes).
Have your past relationships ended well or badly? How did you break up with him/her, or how did he/she break up with you? What is the weirdest (or most messed up) way someone has broken up with another person?
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Comments (112)
I think people should do break ups and make ups in person. That's the only way you can see how a person really feels. No phone calls. No text messages. No emails. Face-to-face is the best way to go.
I have a hard time breaking up with my last boyfriend as well. Like seriously, I would rather have him break up with me. I just don't want to feel bad if and when I do do it. So I just left it to him. Dropped a few hints here and there. It's not the best way to go with it, but that's how I ended up doing it with my last relationship.
I think if you were in a relationship with someone you more or less owe each other an in-person break up at the very least. Don't ever do it over email or text. If you two are really far away from one another, a phone call is acceptable I suppose.
I already told you my bad (yet sorta funny in retrospect) break-up story haha.
Btw, did you ever figure out what her real reason was for breaking up with you? I still don't buy that lame shoulder pain excuse at all.
Honestly, if you guys were that close, then I would be surprised that she wasn't comfortable enough to do it up close in-person. In a way, maybe she just didn't care enough about the relationship to begin with to make up a better excuse than 'shoulder pain'. In all honesty, I would stop talking to her because of her lame no-thought involved excuse than breaking it off in person.
@Roadlesstaken@xanga - Agreed, that's a thin excuse, but the real question is... does it help to know the 'real' reason? Why not assume she just didn't want to pursue it any further? Somewhere along the road of getting to know each other she decided you weren't right for her. Not necessarily not good enough, just not right. To me a break-up doesn't have to reflect on each person individually, just their future as a couple (or lack thereof).
Heh, my breakup was pretty awful (together 7 years, engaged, broken up), but at the very least, it was done face to face. But I've only had the one break-up, so I can't really contrast and compare it to another way. I won't bore you with the details of my sob story, but we spoke face to face. She told me what she was feeling. I told her I wanted her to stay. She told me she was leaving me. And she left. We've spoken periodically since then, since we were such a big part of each other's lives. She has since graduated PA school and acquired a good job. I'm the same, working and trying to live life as I do. I can't say we're friends, but we are loose acquaintances. Weirdest/worst breakup story? I suppose the worst stories involve catching one or the other with someone else. I suppose the weirdest would be when they BOTH catch each other like that (imagine they both think the other is out of town and both bring back someone else to a shared place O.o). Hehe, can you imagine what that would be like? Perhaps weird but more common would be the "Will and Grace" method: "yeah... I'm gay". I look forward to seeing other people's stories though!
@Agent_Spanky@xanga - In-person would have been much better.
@Roadlesstaken@xanga - I never heard from her again! I saw her a couple of times, but she only tried to avoid any eye contact. What a weirdo...
@Devilzgaysianboi@xanga - You're right. And I did stop talking to her after that. Once I received the email, I never talked to her again.
@MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio@xanga - Wow. I'm sorry to hear how your break up happened! Together for 7 years? That's such a long time!
what really sucks is when someone breaks up with you over the phone......
All the relationships I have been in were ended face-to-face. But the weirdest one I have ever heard of was when my friend broke up with her boyfriend. Throughout their relationship, she would leave him messages (written in red lipstick that she doesn't wear, she just has it for this one purpose) on his bathroom mirror. How romantic, right? Well one day he walked in there and she had written "I think we should see other people. Sorry!" on his mirror.
I was like...wtf? You broke up with him...and left him a mess to clean up? I couldn't believe her.
@RoidBear@xanga - Haha weirdo indeed. You deserve better than that anyways, for sure.
@Roadlesstaken@xanga - Thanks bro
@photochic226@xanga - With lipstick? Damn, that sucks.
i think the best way to break up with someone is face-to-face. yeah, granted, its the hardest way to do it, but at least you are giving the other person what they deserve, rather than a phone call, text message, or some other cop-out for a break up.
A girl I knew was going out with this guy for several months. We all thought he was great but one day he broke up with her saying "I no longer find you physically attractive and I can't be in this relationship." and that was the end. The kicker is that she's gorgeous. 5'2" 115 lbs. a cheerleader and everything.
that's probably the WORST way I've ever heard of.
"Why didn't she call me to tell me she didn't want to continue the relationship if she couldn't tell me in person?"
I know it's tough, but don't take it personally how she broke up with you. How she broke up with you is indicative of her character, not of you. I'm glad that you've moved on. And yes, assume she is cowardly and selfish - why else leave a person hanging that way after a breakup, especially a person who acted great during the relationship? - and don't dwell on it anymore.
Worst break up ever? I once heard in high school that a person had dumped another person via pager.
Also you can't forget the infamous Sex and the City episode where Carrie is dumped via a Post-It. I don't think I could ever look at Post-Its the same way ever again!
don't waste time figuring out her reasons for a breakup, it's not worth your time.. but yeah, if i had to make an educated guess, she was probably going through tough times and didn't want to get you involved. and it is probable that she believed that she wasn't good enough and didn't deserve someone like you.. either that or, she was probably afraid you'll try to persuade her to change her mind... of course, there's not a whole lot of information (whether she had any ex-bf before you, etc) to fully support any of my reasons here, so just let it go and live your life..
Break-ups should be done in person, no matter how much both people don't want to do it. Breaking up through text, e-mail, IM - it's all cowardly.
You shouldn't waste your time on why she broke up with you. Her reasons probably won't make sense anyway.
in person. duh.
@ov3r_us3d@xanga - Then he's missing out on your pretty friend!
@Nicola_Six@xanga - Through a pager? I would never look at Post-Its the same way either!
@kawasaki_saiyan@xanga - Yeah, I've moved on in my life, but it's just weird how she did that. She had an ex-bf who was a stalker (according to what she told me). Now I don't even know if that even true or not, but it's all good. I am living my life to the fullest and ready for the girl who'll make me happy.
@loudletters@xanga - hahaha
i agree with Kawasaki, dont waste brain energy thinking about someone so indecent to end a relationship by E-mail. That's so crazy! "shoulder-pains" ... since im paranoid...it sounds like she's hidding something though.
Worst relationship for me would be my cunning Ex, who put me through hell becuase he didnt want to initiate the break up - I ended it on one of Londons busy streets in tears.
What can i say, this world is full of unsensitive people.
@melmelmelody@xanga - Why didn't you try to end it sooner if you weren't happy within the relationship?
@RoidBear@xanga - well i was happy, and i just wanted to make things work but he never told me how he felt so i never knew right to the end =/ at first i thought he was having problems, but -oh was i wrong!
Email? Ouch. I mean I understand on instant messaging, phone, and hell-even text message... at least those are more 'intimate' (for a lack of a better word) and responsive. But email? She might as well have said it on that text so you could text her back or seomthing. that's just weird. plain weird.
-SgMl
omg shoulder pain??? lol she is weird!!!Â
neva had a breakup b4 Â
@sLaVeGiRl01@xanga - Weird indeed!
@melmelmelody@xanga - I'm sorry things worked out the way they did.