This is a guest blog submitted by onechinadoll.I went to work out with my boyfriend and his best friend today, and one thing I noticed is that a lot more people stared at me today. Mind you, most of these people are middle aged to really old Chinese people. I'm a 19 year old Chinese/Vietnamese girl and my boyfriend is white; his best friend is also white. So, yes. I did get a lot of weird looks and stares. But that's not the point of this blog.
We did some cardio, and I wanted to do some more, but the guys didn't. I told them they could just go do weights while I finished. I walked over to them, and they were in the free weights section of the room. I felt like there was too much testosterone for me, so I went over to the weight machines and started working on my legs. Now, when I work out, I tend to look around at people a lot. After my first two sets, I stopped and looked around. I found one guy looking over his shoulder at me and when I made eye contact with him, he turned back around and continued his reps.
I looked around again, and this guy in front of me was blatantly watching me use the machine. I asked if he needed the machine. He smiled and said no. So I continued on my third set, only to see out of the corner of my eye another guy looking at me. Normally when I work out, I work out with my friend, and I don't notice the people around me. But when I'm alone, I tend to notice more and more people looking, which didn't bother me too much. But for some reason today it did. I finished my 5th set and walked over to my boyfriend. I told him that there were too many guys watching me. His face and attitude completely changed.
He became stubborn and moody.
We three decided to go have some pho, and while we were waiting for our food, my boyfriend went to the restroom and his best friend asked me if I was annoyed with something. I told him I just didn't understand why he was all moody. He told me it was probably because I told him that other guys were checking me out. This threw me for a loop. I thought he would want to know if something like that happened. He said that the opposite would be what should happen. "He doesn't want people checking you out, so he wouldn't want to know if they are".
Is that true? Do guys not want to know if someone is checking out their girls? Honestly, I'd want to know if some girl was gawking at my guy. But maybe it's different between the genders. Girls, do you want to know if some girl is checking your guy out? Should I not have said anything?
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Comments (186)
It really depends on the guy if he's upset with someone checking you out or something. If he's the type where in that situation, he's happy that people are checking his girl out, it means he's proud of you. If he's jealous or upset, maybe he's insecure or just a bit overprotective? I don't know but that's me.
If I knew a person was checking out me [imaginary] boyfriend, I would be upset at first, but then be glad he was mine and mine alone.
I'd want to know if someone was checking out my guy. If I had a guy, that is.
Yah, better not next time.
I can see how it would bother him a little. However in the past I wasn't too bothered by it. It's somewhat flattering actually. While so many guys were checking out my girl (at the time), I took pleasure knowing that I was the only guy with her. So yea, it's not the worse thing that could happen.
Now if guys were openly flirting with my girl that may be a different story.
The reason I would never say anything is because it's like ASKING for him to get jealous. And that's just stupid. No one wants a super jealous boyfriend. I never told my boyfriend when guys asked me out, because it didn't matter. I didn't want him to think I WANTED him to be jealous, because I don't. He knows if I'm hot or not without me telling him guys are checking me out or asking me out. It almost makes the girl look like she wants validation for her looks. Which no confident girl needs. So I don't think you should have told him. But that's just me.
My guy used to get kind of moody when guys would check me out or hear about guys asking me out. He would get upset just by imagining what the guy would say or think about me (which I thought was weird). He doesn't get upset much anymore. It generally doesn't bother me to hear a girl thought he was attractive, but sometimes I get upset when girls blatantly check out my guy when I'm with him or when they hit on him behind my back when they know he's taken. I know my guy is hot, go get your own.
With this guy I was seeing awhile back, whenever his friend hit on me, I wouldn't tell him out of courtesy. Even when other random guys I found cute hit on me, I wouldn't say anything to him... nor did I ever tell him whenever someone asked me out (because me and him weren't really official at all - just friends with benefits but with feelings)... Idk, but the way I saw it was that I didn't want to be one of those girls who had to tell her guy everytime someone hit on her or was checking her out.. I didn't want to make him feel inferior to the other guys because he wasn't and he meant a lot to me and obviously those other guys didn't so I just never told him anything. Plus, I've seen him overreact about some smaller shit before and I didn't want to make him be like that. All in all, I just didn't want to be one of those girls who had to tell everyone, including her friends, when someone hit on her or asked her out just to make herself look good. It isn't who I am. But that's just me.
My boyfriend is extremely jealous (it's part of his culture to be, possessive, for lack of a better word) so he gets pissed if he notices guys looking at me or thinks I look at them. He'd rather not know if guys are looking at me/talking to me, because then he just gets mad and can't do anything about it.
I'm not sure if I'd want to know or not. I'm not really a jealous person, but I've had girls openly come onto my boyfriends right in front of me before so I'd probably be a little uncomfortable.
I was studying at a local coffee shop and stepped away to to go the bathroom. That's when this grimy looking older guy eyed my boyfriend and nodded in approval as if to say "good job, she's hot."
My boyfriend was more grossed out than angry.So yeah, it depends on the guy.
Depends on the guy, he could be proud that alot of ppl thinks his girl is hot or he could be extremely jealous ;D
I'd like to know what girl is checking out my guy.. That way I can keep my eye out to see if she tries to do more than that [as in flirt, or more].My boyfriend would like to know the same.. However, I feel as if it's different with the other gender 'cause he said he'd feel flattered that other people find his girlfriend attractive & that he's lucky to be the one with me. & then he'll proceed to put his arm around me. haha. :P [Me, not so much. It just makes me feel uncomfortable especially since most of these girls end up doing more than just check him out. Blatantly flirting in front of me is a no-no. That's just asking for me to incur my wrath on you.]
personally, i'd like to know. my boyfriend likes to know what's up as well; he hates being out of the loop. i'm not jealous, i'm just overly posessive [; but it could go either way, though, being proud and show-offy or protective.
i love pho, by the way. [:
He should be happy that he got a hot ass girlfriend like you. But i would understand why he would be moody. He's just pissed off. thats all.
I tell my boyfriend when guys are checking me out. And I would want to know if girls were checking him out.
Just tell your bf that it has nothing to do with how YOU feel about him or anyone else.
My wife is big and bold, so it's easy to spot and look at her. Years ago, when our relationship wasn't that strong, I'd get jealous of other guys doing anything to get downwind of her. But then I realized that these guys had no chance. I just smiled, and watched their ultimately vain attempts.
When guys check me out or even ask for my number, I let my guy know. He makes a joke out of it but took nothing too seriously. Maybe because we've been together for six years and he knows I won't leave him for another guy.
If other girls check him out (by just looking/starring at him), I would want to know too. Haha. I'm just that kind of nosey person and I just want to know if they are prettier than me or not.
Your guy shouldn't be moody or piss off. He should take it as a compliment that other guys find his girl hot. If anything, that should be an ego boost.
It depends on the guy. Most care, some don't.
it really depends on the person, not upon gender.
and to answer your question, i would DEFINITELY want to know if some ho, i mean girl (haha, my bad) was checking out my man, so i can hunt her down and claw her eyes out. :)
i tell my boyfriend. most times it doesn't bother him, rarely it will. i'm pretty sure i would want to know about that sort of thing were it to be reversed. i'll bring this up to him. as of right now though, i think we are both honest with each other when stuff like that happens. i especially think it is important to be honest if something further happens. ie: someone is asked out, etc. if nothing else, it holds both of you to a standard of honesty that might be worth something if your relationship gets shaky and you are more tempted to pay attention to the outside attention. i think complete honesty in that arena sometimes makes things harder (and couples moody), but it's better to work through that stuff together. mind you, this is my experience, and i know all men, women, and couples are different. personally, i want someone i can be totally honest with and have confidence knowing i am getting it back.
and btw, sometimes it's good to let the guy know other dudes are checking you; that way it'll keep him on his feet and remind him that you're special and other guys know it too, so he better be careful and pamper you to the max, or else you could potentially lose you to any of those other dudes...which leads me to why he was all hot and bothered when you told him that...
there was this guy blatantly flirting with me once in front of my boyfriend. but i didnt notice. i was kind of thinking about some problems between me and a friend, so i wasnt paying attention. i love that my boyfriend was so secure and confident that he didnt say anything to the guy. he told me later that, while it was making him mad, he knows that i love him and that i would never be with that guy. later when he told me the guy was flirting tho, i was like WUT? HE WAS?
lol. he found it amusing that i am completely clueless and teased me about it for forever.
early in our relationship he drove himself crazy. too much testorone, i guess. "what the fuck you lookin at?!" stuff like that. i thought it was kind of funny and a little scary. now he just tells me about it. i don't notice men looking. hardly ever, unless it's so blatant that even someone like me, who has her head up her ass, will see it. i don't mind women (or men) checking him out. no big deal.
My bf doesnt mind it - he felt proud that other people were checking me out and that I was with him LOL
My bf would actually TELL ME* if other guys were checking me out
He was like: that old man next to you was checking you out from head to toe
My reaction: REALLY ? * turns around * EWW THAT CREEP
I guess it depends on the guy*
I would want to know if other people were checking my bf out and vice versa
So I can glare back at the girl and give her the * F - off * look hahaha just kidding
In my opinion...it's like one of those shot gun questions your man doesn't want you to ask..ahaha If you notice before he does, it makes it seem like you like the attention/like..meaningless flirting in a way...If you don't notice it, he'll feel bad that other guys are checking you out but he'll feel that he has you all to himself...its best to keep shut about those things and let ur man do the "protecting" in that "why you checkin' out my girl" department..xP
Well, I understand the insecurity, or whatever it is, but to get moody over it when nothing even happened is...strange, for lack of a better word. It's not like you were making a big deal out of it. Self-preservation, you know? You felt trapped in an awkward situation, so you left. Eh.