Monday, 29 December 2008

  • We Cybered And I'm Not Sure If He Was Joking or Not

    This is a guest blog submitted by a Datingish reader.

    My Saturday night started off pretty lame - so lame, in fact, that on my AIM away message I put "so bored," haha. 

    Around 1 a.m., one of my guy friends IMed me saying, "so, you're bored, huh?" I don't know whether he was joking or not, but he asked me to cyber with him - I guess you could say to entertain me...and I couldn't believe it; I was cracking up for the next hour it took place. We ended up talking on AIM about that until around 4 a.m.

    Now I've never cybered before, jokingly or not, until last night because I really don't see the point in it - except, maybe, to entertain people and give them a few laughs.

    What are your thoughts on cybering? Have you ever done it, and were you actually serious? I think he was being semi-serious throughout the whole thing, considering a certain picture he sent me *cough*.

    Here's another thing, though...I've really always wanted to hook up with him in real life, too. Ever since I met him four years ago, it was lust at first sight. We used to hang out all the time and now we randomly talk here and there, but we never actually hooked up.

    One of the main things that's stopping me from hooking up with him is that I feel he's a bit of a manwhore. I'm sure he takes care of himself and doesn't have a STD or anything, and I don't want to date him or anything like that.  I just don't like how he's been with a lot of people.

    Should I just shake that bit of info off and finally get with him the next time we see each other?  What would you do?

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Comments (51)

  • baconlicious112@xanga

    Uh, if hasn't shown any interest like you except on the internet, but then maybe he's just in it for the 'cyber'. Don't waste your time.
  • xdyingforperfectionxxx@xanga

    Of course hes serious--about the cybering part, he probably did not mean it as a joke as much as you might have. More likely than not, he would hook up with you given the chance. However, that is all he wants.


     If a guy wants a REAL relationship, he wouldn't begin talking to you by cybering/talking dirty---he would want to gain your respect first, but it didn't seem like this guy cared. He just wants to hook up


    SO, if you just want to hook up--go for it, or actually he probably will very soon! haha. Unless he decides he doesnt want to hook up with you anymore.


    Trusttt me. Ive definitely had way to many hook ups..more than im proud to say...Sooo i wont haha


    -M
  • jeezshoua@xanga

    Hm.

    I wouldn't take it seriously.  If he cybered with you, I'm sure he had cybered with other girls too.  And since he's a man whore, I would be extra careful too.  But if you just want a one night stand with him with no strings attach, go for it?  Just be cautious and don't get emotionally involved.
  • KasumiCelesta@xanga

    Haha, the semi-serious thing reminds me of the end of Kanye West's song "Addiction": "You know I'm just kiddin'...unless you gonna do it..."

    By "hook up" do you mean dating or an actual hookup? And are you the kind of girl who can hook up with a guy with absolutely no emotional attachment? If that's the case, then hooking up with this guy shouldn't be a problem as long as you're positive that he's clean.

    If you're looking to date him, I wouldn't jump in too quickly. If he's a bit of a manwhore, there's definitely a chance you'll just be another girl he slept with.

    Oh, and I think cybering is silly

  • anonymous

    @KasumiCelesta@xanga - Lol. I guess it depends on the guy I'm with to be or not to be emotionally involved...like with this guy I'm talking about in my post, I definitely could see me just hooking up with him and still being friends after since I used to hang out with him all the time and had never hooked up before and was able to hang out with him as good friends for a long time first. 

    Yeah in the back of my mind I also thought that he has cybered with others, too, but it's just Internet Talk to me, also, haha.

    If he really means it though, I'm totally up for it. :)
  • katethoughts@xanga

    HAHA i done it when i was 12 and it was just curiosity.


    and it is very funny and nothing serious
  • ktmirk@xanga

    guys generally aren't into that because it's funny, and like you said, he did send a picture.

    as long as you're not expecting to be in an exclusive relationship and you just want to "hook up," go for it.

    but since you think he is somewhat of a manwhore, don't get emotionally attached.
  • xxmaddychanxx@xanga

    Well cybering is always something fun to do. In my opinion, it always starts with girls taking it as a joke and guys wanting to know how far the girl will take it as a joke. I've had my share of cyber conversations and sometimes it's quite fun and really makes you feel like you could totally do everything in real, if you just met the guy right away.

    My advice, sex on internet stays on internet.

  • misswonderj@xanga

    LOL.
  • simply_complex_lies@xanga

    lol,,,I did it once when I said I was bored and this guy offered,,,but I think he was joking ?? O_o



    Cracked up whole way
  • sarahzthoughts@xanga

    Keep in mind that you have no way of knowing what is happening on his side of the screen. If he's a "manwhore" like you say, what are the odds that he might show that conversation to other people? If you don't want your conversation passed around to other people then don't do it. But from what you described, I don't see the point of giving him that kind of satisfaction in the first place.
  • Sportrex@xanga

    Did you ask him which hand he was "cybering" with? Most guys have a distinct end-game when it comes to that stuff. He's totally game if you are!
  • xSarah_Jane@xanga

    I've cybered more often than I'd like to admit, and it's fun for me.

    I do it anonymously.

    I've tried with people I know in real life, and it's just awkward.

    *shrug*

    Try not to contract a cyber STI, okay?
    I heard they're horrible viruses.
  • fly46@xanga

    I have a guy friend who's born-again Christian and married.  We cyber.  I think it's totally possible for it to not mean anything.


    Although, if he's sending you pictures, it might mean he likes you.  If you really do think he's clean, why do you care how many people he's been with?


    Let the past be the past.
  • IvyHatter@xanga

    honestly in our book "man slut = no, no" it's gross, you don't know where his dick has been. also if he's that into fucking he might not tell you if he has any sort of STD, we know you said that he takes care of himself but there's know way to know for sure without seeing test results.
  • Adryas@xanga

    lol my bf used 2 be a manwhore but he cleaned up his act for me.


    if u just wana hook up make sure u don['t regret it later


    and if ur scared ur gona get something from him u could just use a condom u know?
  • tiffany_yoo@xanga

    Well, I wouldn't suggest hooking up with him if you really do like him, especially if he is a manwhore. Because I am hooking up with a manwhore, and I honestly did not think I would ever lik ehim sure I found him attractive and I wanted to get to know him more and when I did we hooked up and now we basically cant stop, but I developped feelings, He hasnts. I know how many girls he gets with, I know what they look like, and it sucks. So if you like him and he is infact a manwhore, don't hit that. It sucks when you fall for him and he could care less.

    but good luck. (:
  • shattermysilence@xanga

    I put on my robe and wizard hat
    ;)
  • rocksolid4u@xanga

    LET HIM IN YOUR BUTT!
  • bekkathebaka@xanga

    I've cybered a lot, actually, just don't tell anyone because I'm probably not supposed to :P I like it, it's like reading something pornographic, except you're a part of it. Besides, I can't actually have sex, no one wants to do it with me D:
  • keyboarderrr@xanga

    I cybered to mess with a stranger online. Sometimes, I made them think I was going to do it without actually going there. Like they would IM me and ask me my "ASL." I would be honest and they would say I was pretty young. Me of course saying, young for what? We're just talking right? What are you thinking? So they would sign off or block me. Strictly text and strictly for laughs.

    So back to your problem. If he's clean and you want to, I don't see why not.
  • howmanycheers@xanga

    I've done it. It was silly. The guy didn't seem to think so. It's even more silly than phone sex. I like LISTENING, not actually doing or saying anything (I mean, the whole pretending that something is actually going on? What the fuck is that?).

    Anyway. I wouldn't want to be with a guy that's been with a lot of people. That's just me, though - and you, apparently. It's not really a trust issue, right? It's just...sex is special. A connection. Maybe not CYBER sex, though. :p

    Do what you think is right, but if you're going to be uncomfortable about it...well, then it probably isn't right.
  • howmanycheers@xanga

    @shattermysilence@xanga - Me too, Shatter. Meeee too. :)

    A Hermione robe, to be exact.
  • atmaster@xanga

    lol what was the picture? that one detail means a lot in this scenario.
  • anonymous

    @atmaster@xanga - It was of his pee pee, haha.

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