Monday, 29 December 2008

  • We Cybered And I'm Not Sure If He Was Joking or Not

    This is a guest blog submitted by a Datingish reader.

    My Saturday night started off pretty lame - so lame, in fact, that on my AIM away message I put "so bored," haha. 

    Around 1 a.m., one of my guy friends IMed me saying, "so, you're bored, huh?" I don't know whether he was joking or not, but he asked me to cyber with him - I guess you could say to entertain me...and I couldn't believe it; I was cracking up for the next hour it took place. We ended up talking on AIM about that until around 4 a.m.

    Now I've never cybered before, jokingly or not, until last night because I really don't see the point in it - except, maybe, to entertain people and give them a few laughs.

    What are your thoughts on cybering? Have you ever done it, and were you actually serious? I think he was being semi-serious throughout the whole thing, considering a certain picture he sent me *cough*.

    Here's another thing, though...I've really always wanted to hook up with him in real life, too. Ever since I met him four years ago, it was lust at first sight. We used to hang out all the time and now we randomly talk here and there, but we never actually hooked up.

    One of the main things that's stopping me from hooking up with him is that I feel he's a bit of a manwhore. I'm sure he takes care of himself and doesn't have a STD or anything, and I don't want to date him or anything like that.  I just don't like how he's been with a lot of people.

    Should I just shake that bit of info off and finally get with him the next time we see each other?  What would you do?

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Comments (51)

  • fugu62@xanga

    I doubt cybering for a guy is just to entertain. I suspect he was probing your interest. Send a message saying you want to meet him f2f if you really want to hook up. It's best to be honest and not play games.
  • awokenfatality@xanga
    Well, if he's a man whoring, he may have looked at you just as he does to any other girl he would sleep with. But considering that he's been your friend for the past four years, I don't know if those were his intentions. If you really like the guy, go for it. You can see where it takes you.
  • mustardcat@xanga

    "except, maybe, to entertain people and give them a few laughs."


    LOL! I think cybering is hilarious. I've done it before, but it was with a boyfriend who i was with for a while, so im not even sure if that counts.
    Now whats REALLY funny! Phone sex!!! LOL!!! Now that cracks me up.


    I think you should joke around with him about it next time you see him. See how he reacts.
    If your just looking for a little fling, man-whores are probably your best option as they'll know how to please you. Otherwise, forget it! =P


    Good luck dear, hope all works out for you.
  • MyxlDove@xanga

    Hmm... I don't know. You say you don't want to date him, but just want to hook up with him. How is that any different that how you've described him? If that's all you want, then it really makes no difference how many people he's been with. If you want a relationship with him, that's a different story and should have a different approach. In any case, I agree that honesty is always best.
  • StewieIsMyHero@xanga

    I've cybered countless times before, in all seriousness. I couldnt' tell you what his intentions were but I wouldn't just "hook up" with him. If you seriously like him, then I would consider dating him. Cybering can be fun if you can't be together physically, I don't see anything wrong with it. I think its hot, personally, if done right.

  • LadyOblivious

    I've never cybered and I don't think I ever could.  I've joked, and flirted (with some explicit content) but never actually cybered.  While I'm not overly uncomfortable with it, I just don't see the point. 

    As for hooking up with him, if you don't plan on making it awkward (and are sure you can do that), go right ahead.  If you think you're going to like him after this, then hooking up probably isn't the best idea.  Plus if you're not comfortable with how many women he's had, you may be uncomfortable during the entire act and not enjoy it.

    Good luck!
  • hyungjoo87@xanga

    If you already met the guy, what's the big problem? If you're worried about STDs, ask him to get tested lol I mean, honestly, that's the "safe" way or just go for it.

  • death_by_chocolat@xanga

    I think cybering is hilarious. I have never been able to sit through a session without laughing.


    Oh well.


    If you're interested, go for it. If his man whoring bothers you... well, I guess it's just something you'll have to come to terms with. If it bothers you that much, then don't do anything you think you might regret.
  • InuYashaxKagomeForever@xanga

    ive cybered before i know i was serious but alot of the times the guy isnt. and sometimes i do like the guy but i only block out the bad things that are happening but then i see the light that hes just a manwhore and wants to have sex but cant get any in real life so thats why he leads the girl on online. but i really have no advice on this i really do like this guy and we are online dating but uhhh....i doubt its really gonna go anywhere because we live like a couple of states apart and yeah.
  • litt0_h0nii@xanga

    If he is interesting , you should get to know him. Just make sure he is safe and all. 
  • moonlitaria@xanga

    Just so as long as you know what you'd be getting into with him, that's fine.  Don't expect a long/ monogamous relationship.
  • TakingxOverxMe@xanga

    @MyxlDove@xanga - I agree.
  • iHx_SicarioEyes@xanga

    @moonlitaria@xanga - i totally agree...
  • pacificYO@xanga

    i'm a guy...and i do the electronic sexual thing for kicks.  i only do it with girls i'm interested in for more than friendship.  i can escalate it to more later...but for the most part i do it for kicks.

    i like initiating "text sex" with girls i find out have unlimited texting on their cell phone plan.  it's hilaaarious.
  • blueangel87

    it can be fun..... as long as u like a one night cyber sex stand

    lol
  • SoccerMommy@xanga

    hahahahaha... hang on... let me put on my robe and wizard hat.
  • anonymous

    @blueangel87 - hahaha

    @SoccerMommy@xanga - lol

    @pacificYO@xanga - nice

    alright guys! i'm gonna get my freak on with him hopefully whenever the next time he comes in town, lol.

    i don't think it'll be awkward afterward considering we used to hang out a lot.

    there was this other guy i kinda went on a few dates with and even had him spend the night but we didn't do anything. i thought it would be awkward the next day in class.

    it was for like a minute but then i was fine with it, lol and we still kid around, so hopefully it might end up something like that :P

    and we still talk, too.
  • hizbutterfly@xanga

    I think that cybering can be a way to feel closer to the one you love when you can't be together physically.  There are a lot of people out there who will do it for a joke and for pure entertainment, but then that's not true cybering really.  It's just roleplay.  Fine line but distinct difference. 

  • pinklover92@xanga

    i have never cybered before and i am not exactly sure wat it is but i believe that u should not go out with him cause i was in love once with a manwhore and it was a horrible mistake
  • Correct_The_Defect@xanga

    If you're just looking to "hook up" with the guy and you know you won't have stronger feelings with him after you hook up with him you should do it.


    But as someone said before if you're worried about STDS get him tested.


    =/


    I'm not a fan of the just hooking up but I'm not judging other people for doing it.



    As for the cybering it is pretty damn funny to me. People have randomly sent me messages about doing it but I think it's silly and I wouldn't do it.
  • NiDH0GG@xanga

    @fugu62@xanga -  agree with you

    at least after that night you wouldn't be afraid about being pregnant..
  • BlkBoldBeautiful@xanga

    LOL; cybering is very, very, very funny.
    i dont believe that theres anything wrong with it.
    and ill leave it at that.

    haha. but seriously, if you have a problem with him being a manwhore, then dont get to know him at that level, i suppose. if you do decide to get to know him, be careful not to fall for crap; manwhores tend to be extremely talented sweetalkers. haha.
  • sLaVeGiRl01@xanga

    If you want my opinion, stay away from "-whores" because you never know what you're gonna get. And I'm not just talking about STDs or a horrible preggo scare. Unless he's really showing you how much he's changed, especially changing for you, stay away from "-whores"!

    But on the whole cyber thing... I've never cybered before... if it's the same thing as phonesex, then he's probably serious. Which is kinda weird... But anyway, you can never tell on the internet. It's not the same as on the phone when you can use your senses to tell if someone's serious or not. Instant Messaging always has hidden codes behind it. So to be safe, I wouldn't take it seriously.

    -SgMl
  • Evolutionary_21@xanga

    Eh....it's really up to you. Me, I would meet but not do anything with him on the first date.
  • wolvenchic@xanga

    I think this may have been an "im joking.. unless your serious ;) "moment lol

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