This is a guest blog submitted by Yellow. From day one I knew I was the relationship type. I would sit with my mother and watch soap operas dreaming of the day that I would have my knight in shining armor.
To this day I sit by the TV watching sappy movies still wishing to have someone to love and to hold. I have never been in a relationship. I have never felt someone else's lips caressing mine. Never been on a date. Never got to hug someone and feel their warmth. Never got to hold someone's hand. I've always had to held my own hand. And frankly, I'm tired of it.
Now, almost through college, I feel that it's too late to pursue anyone. Because barely anyone is still a virgin, there's not going to be someone my age still kissless. Not many guys would put up with it, either. I asked out a guy on a date a while back. He asked what I liked to do on dates and I told him I've never dated. That was the last time that I heard from him.
I just don't want to get started with someone and tell them how inexperienced I am. What if the same thing happens again? There are people out there who wouldn't date a virgin; imagine someone like me.
I just drown in these love songs now, wishing for something more.
Do you find inexperienced people a turn-off or a turn-on? Would you give someone like me a chance or just quickly decline? What advice do you have for me?
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Comments (272)
I think you will be fine. Your inexperience is quite refreshing and I am sure you will find a man who loves that about you. I know I am really jaded but I still believe in love and I know you will get the person you deserve. Please, keep us updated.
Is there anyone that you are currently interested in?
Btw, I have been single for 2 years now and I am starting to feel the same way you are. It's been awhile since my last relationship and I feel like I am starting all over again. It's strange.
Does anybody else know what I am talking about.
I'm exactly the same way. You're not alone.
Actually ... *raises hand* here's your male counterpart.
I've only been on a few "dates," (a relationship that didn't work out). Through college. Never been kissed *sigh*
I wouldn't say I specifically call "inexperience" a turn-on or a turn-off.
Any guy that doesn't respect you for who you are ("inexperience" and all) isn't worth it.
I find myself to be a turnoff =___= I know how you feel.
But I think that the innocence of inexperience makes some girls alluring. Just wait for your time ;D
Some guys..ehm..would love a virgin! haven't you heard of those girls autcioning their virginity off on ebay for millions?
I say, stop watching sappy tv shows and GET OUT THERE:D That guy was one of (billions?)-you just happened to pick one of the 'bad' ones. 'What do you like to do on dates?' um..who asks that, i mean, asks that sexually? On dates I like to have dinner, go see a band, go to the movies...get to know a person and see if there is that 'connection'. I don't (practically!) ask 'so , do you kiss/give head/have a big dick that you will use to satisfy me in bed/the car/restaurant bathroom if i go on a date with you?' Dating isnt about that..not to me anyway..sounds like it is for him though! But, some people are jerks like that.
I haven't even dated much though lol. You will find that 'one guy' and you will probably find many more after that...but along the way you will gain the 'experience' you're after. And it should be with someone you enjoy, and not something you do to 'hurry up and get it over with' just so you can be experienced. Don't stress about it too much, there are heaps of girls (and guys i'm sure) out there just like you:)
You could always get drunk at a club and kiss a random....joking! dont do that!!!!
Good luck:) hope you find a nice guy:)
Well, I'm glad to see that I'm not alone! I'm in college and I have never dated, nor have I been kissed. Honestly, I find inexperience to be a turn-on, for me. Maybe because I'm that way as well. But, I think it would be nice to date a guy who is inexperienced, because then we could learn about being in a relationship together.
Right now, there's a guy who likes me and I like him and we both are totally inexperienced as far as dating. It's really wonderful knowing that neither of us will have to deal with ex's or any emotional baggage if we start dating.
As far as advice for you, I'd have to say that patience is a virtue! It's not always easy to wait, but isn't it better in the long run? Won't it be nice to eventually find "the One" and not have to worry about having a million ex's in your past? Don't rush it... take it easy, the right one will come along some day! And they'll be worth waiting for! =)
Don't worry about any of it at all. Just let a good guy come your way. Maybe you're a little too shy?
Oh, and I'll say something else because I realized it matters. I'm twenty years old and in college. Kissless and virgin. There are inexperienced people out there. Don't worry.
I thought I was the only one. Never dated anyone and about to finish college. Maybe my problem is I don't go after the people I like enough. The only one time I did that, I was friend zoned and the girl told me that we just close friends. Recently there's this another girl, that just keep calling me every night. We talked a lot and stuff, even personal ones. After I gave her a Christmas present, it seems like she doesn't want to call me at night anymore, or return my call. I can see where this thing is going again... =/ I don't even want to find out if she doesn't like me. Well, don't stress out too much, Yellow. Sometimes things happen just because of chance and time.
i know plenty of eligible guys and girls who have never been in a physical relationship (beyond holding hands or a peck on the cheek) and they're way past college. they just haven't found the right someone yet... and they're not really into the dating random strangers scene. i'd say, just go out there and meet ppl. dun let that one guy turn u away from dating. more than anything... ppl with too much experience are a turn off :p
I wish you wouldn't feel so discouraged with this situation. Granted, I would also feel rather upset, but I would have some sort of positive outlook. There are plenty of guys out there would love to date a romantic girl like you! Even if you are a virgin, and I must say, that can be quite the turn-on for some.
Don't give up hope. Just because some dumbass guy wanted an experienced chick in bed, doesn't mean all guys like that. In fact, many of those guys will be very happy to be the one that you will lose your virginity to, making the act very sacred.
Best of luck!
omigosh, sweety, stop watching that stuff!!!! It's just useless crap that will only mess you up. Get out in the real world & live it up. You won't know what watermelon tastes like until you try it, right?
If I was a guy, I would prefer going out with someone "inexperienced" since there will be less games involved. And you don't have the emotional scars and baggage that come with dating and relationships that can interfere with new ones.
But yah, I know how it feels to be dateless around college time. It is especially hard to openly admit that in this society of promiscuity. So props to you for that.
When your time comes and you find the man of your dreams, you'll be glad you didn't waste your time with jerks just for the sake of dating.
Oh yea and stop watching that stuff. It will only mess you up and give you unrealistic expectations.
Instead of living vicariously through soap operas and love songs, go out there and date. When someone asks you what you like to do on dates, tell them what you want to do...it's not a question about your dating past. He simply just wants to know how to keep you entertained if he takes you out. Stop over-analyzing everything. Just put yourself out there. A guy worth dating won't care that you haven't dated before.
lol me too... i neva been in a relationship and i have been on one date in my life..haha..
but nah we'll be fine we 'll find that guy i hope...
good luck to us... =)
I was like that up until about 2 years ago. Although I still have my V card, I have made out and stuff. When I look back to all that, I end up missing my innocence because it was given away to all the wrong people, who never cared that I had given away something precious to them, even while knowing how inexperienced I was.
You're on the right track. Wait for the one who makes ur heart beat real fast and be confident that things will work out before you get physical. If he's truly worth it, he will understand, and also agree. I went out on a date with a guy once who refused to touch me because I was so innocent. He found that attractive and he wanted me to keep that until we were something solid. It made me respect him more.
Anyway, some guys look for innocence. No one wants a whore, so I'd say ur good with a lot of men in this world. The good ones, anyway. =]
By the way, i kinda am going through something, so people who are replying to this post, please go to my datingish site and leave ur suggestions on my recent post. It would be appreciated. Thank you.
I find "inexperienced guys" to be pretty cute. :X
Don't worry about it though, you'll find the right guy. :D
u just asked the wrong person for a date. and hes not for you girl, i understand you coz i am like that before "never been kissed type" and for that maybe i got a little carried away and afraid of being "not to experience the things" that i went out with guys who were really not worth it, and senseless.
just get out, make friends, and be happy for what you are and when you least expected it, theyre (guys) asking you for a date.
@s_h_a_sha@xanga - I want you to read this too, b/c there's a big confused belief, that I want to air out for you and the writer of this blog.
Experience doesn't change anything for you at all. You can't "lose" or have anyone "take" away your innocence. One usually chooses to give it up, believing that experience will take them where they so want to be in life.. Only to learn how to be selfish. In whatever you do, or whoever you date, and even how many relationships you may have.. Love blindly, and wholeheartedly. There is nothing wrong with you b/c of your not dating. it's simply a preference. :) In essence, you have more to offer, b/c you can do it honestly. There's no comparison. If the person won't date you, it's most likely b/c they know they won't be able to give you what you will be able to give them. :) that's life for you; view it as someone not wasting your time. ^_^
I'm 24 and have my first boyfriend. My boyfriend is seriously surprised that I've never even had a boyfriend before, and he is fine with that. He keeps telling me he can't believe I never had a boyfriend before. And that's a good thing! I'm pretty sure you will find a great guy one day.
Anyone who wouldn't date you because of your inexperience is not worth your time. But don't let yourself get taken advantage of because of it either. Knowing who you are and having confidence because of that will attract the right kind of guys. Don't be afraid to get out there and talk to them, though.
@ambreguesa@xanga - and I should listen to my own advice! (It always seems to be easier to see what others should do instead of what you should.)
High-five! ME TOO! I'm exactly the same!
I think some (good/mature) guys would actually prefer an inexperienced woman because he'll realize how much he's worth to her and he'll realize how much she's giving up to him.
I don't really care if my soul mate is experienced or inexperienced just as long as he doesn't carry an STD! HAHA.
Good luck!