This is a guest blog submitted by a Datingish reader.So there's this girl I've liked for about four months. We almost went out, but she said she wasn't ready after a harsh breakup she'd had recently, which I understood and took with a grain of salt. Later, she said she wanted to keep her options open...and I took it pretty badly.
Since then, we've grown closer again; she said that I'm the only guy she likes and she just needs to figure out if she ready for a relationship. So, there's a step in the right direction, I guess, but here's the thing...
Now, I knooooow that girls can get kinda crazy about their man-babes - you know, when they have a celebrity crush or whatever. But I personally think that she's a bit obsessed with this famous guy, or actually, the role he plays.
Her having a crush on famous dude wouldn't really bother me; what worries me is that she writes poems about him, (in which she describes how he takes her breath away) and talks about him ad nauseum, so I know that he is on her mind a great deal. And she has only once or twice said something so flattering to or about me.
The last straw, which made me question our fledgling relationship, was when we were talking on the phone after I had dropped off her Christmas present. It was a bobblehead of (ugh) him - her favorite character. She told me how much she lovedlovedLOVED it, and it made me sick.
I only got it because I knew she'd want it, but I actually regretted buying it. She never flattered me as much as she did that stupid bobblehead. Anyway, I asked if she could stop by later, because I only got to see her for a second (she was pulled away by her family) and she said she would see about it. She also said she would call me if she left for my house or before she went to bed so I would know. She never called.
I very much wanted to see/hear from her, as it was Christmas eve, and I didn't get much sleep...So, I woke up, checked Xanga for comments, and I noticed that she wrote a poem...I had assumed that she'd gone to bed early and that's why she didn't call me, but no such luck.
The blog was posted around midnight and it was about Bobblehead and how she would woo him, given the chance. So she stayed up late, most definitely saw me on Xanga, and decided not to call me? Just to say "I'm goin' to bed"? Instead she wrote a love poem about this *expletive*...
I haven't talked to her since, though I'd give anything to...I just don't want to be the one to call her, and seem needy. I want her to want to call me. Ha.
I am the only guy that she likes right now and I think it likely that she would want to go out with me soon. But. This obsession pisses me off, and I'm not sure if I could handle it.
Do you think she takes me for granted because she already knows I am hers for the taking (should this obsession blow over)? And how serious do you think this Bobblehead complex is? Am I blowing it out of proportion?
Ed's note: Although the OP didn't say who Bobblehead was, five bucks says it's Edward Cullen; amirite?
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Comments (439)
I was thinking the same exact thing when I saw the title of the post. Why are girls so crazy about this Cullen person? My girl said he wasn't very attractive (at least not the person who played him in the movie).
Maybe it's not him though? Nah, it probably is.
LOL! I don't think your girlfriend is taking you for granted. I think she is really just obsessed with the character.
As to the editor of datingish: LOL! Perhaps, since girls around the world seem to be obsessed with him. -.-0
yes it does indeed sound like your lady friend has edward-itis. there is nothing you can do but hope that the next three twilight movies are so bad that she is cured of her malady.
GOOOOD NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
I was so excited that the author didn't say his name, WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GO AND PUT IT IN THERE?!?!?
/cries
Screw Twilight. They only like it now because its a movie!
God, Twilight. First of all, I dislike Edward's character because he is far too controlling for my taste, and second, obsessing about fictional characters to this degree is just pathetic and seriously clouds your perception of reality. So, yes, there is a good possibility she's taking you for granted.
And yes, if I were in your shoes, that obsession would piss me off as well--that's like if my guy had a shrine dedicated to Rachel Gellar in his closet where he prayed every night before going to sleep in his Rachel sheets next to a Rachel pillow. Sounds like she needs a serious reality check (along with the vast majority of Twilighters).
I knew it would be a Twilight Character just from the title. Oh Jesus.
My verdict.
MOOOOVE ON!
she's a crazy little obsessed girl. When she realizes what the real world is like and that such characters, whoever they may be, do not exist and they never will. She will be devastated and then you can be the true hero. If you're still interested. I definitely say move on, because just from reading what she's like, I want to punch her in the face.
:]
I don't know how old you two are, or how many relationships she's had in the past. The problems as I see them from your post, aren't that she's obsessed with him, it's that she disregards you. She doesn't call when she says she will, she doesn't compliment you often, she pays more attention to a character than you, the person she's supposed to like. If she continues to behave this way, that could lead to serious relationship problems.
That being said, her obsession should blow over. I am a huge Buffy fan! I mean I LOVE the show. I own all 7 seasons and have seen the show all the way through at least 5 or 6 times. Part of the reason I love it, is I think James Marsters is a hottie! I was obsessed with him, like nothing else. (Though I didn't write poetry, I did incorporate him into my writing. Used personality traits or small, unnoticeable quirks in creating my characters) I still have wallpaper of him on my computer. However, I've grown out of obsessing. He's attractive, and I enjoyed the character (which means I can learn a lot in my own writing from how he was written). I still enjoy the wallpaper, and the show, but my real guy comes first. (Though for me he always has....) I treat him better than some imaginary character on TV.
That's what your focus should be. She will probably grow out of it, and it will probably fade, but that doesn't mean that she won't find some new thing, person or place to obsess about. It has to be made clear to her, that the real people in your life come first!
Good luck!
She sounds pretty crazy, and is showing all kinds of signs that she's either not really interested or doesn't know what she wants. I say move on.
hahahaha it's most definitely edward cullen.
@outspoken_nessa@xanga - haha no, the twilight craze happened long before there was a movie. That would be why they made the movie to begin with.
This girl is a little bit overboard with the whole thing. Liking an actor, a character - that's understandable. And everyone does it, and everyone fantasizes about it to a certain extent. But usually in more healthy ways, like wanting to find a man similar to the character in traits, morals, etc. Writing xanga love poems to a fictional bobblehead is a bit extreme. That doesn't mean she takes you for granted... although she might, but I wouldn't have enough information to judge.... but it does mean that she needs to find a new hobby.
@beachblondie711@xanga - Most girls only like it now because of the movie.
If Edward was Robert Patterison and was some fugly dude all the girls would be like omg omg omg Edward is creep.
She's a psycho. Get away from her fast.
Anyone THAT obsessed with a fictional character [coughedwardcullencough] needs some serious help.
Haha. I kept thinking "Edward Edward Edward" when I was reading this, but isn't it a little soon to have a bobblehead of him out? I mean, I know he has an action figure but still.Â
And yeah, most everybody has celeb crushes, or at least celebs that they find super attractive / funny / insert awesome adjective here, but talking about wooing bobbleheads and turning into a creep about it is taking it a bit far. What is your GF, thirteen?
Hopefully, it'll pass, Like, uh, a kidney stone. xD
PS. OP -- Doesn't it worry you to send this into datingish, as she HAS A XANGA? or are you trying to send her a message??
Um, what? How old is she? Twelve?
Wait until she grows up a bit.
i love the editors note. It made me laugh so hard :]]
But I know you feel. Just wait for her craze to die. All these fads die out sooner or later [and plus, in my opinion, Robert Pattinson is fugly o.o]
LOL... If it is Edward Cullen, then I'm sorry to say that this relationship is probably going nowhere. Some of those rabid Twilight fans are just plain crazy and have warped notions of relationships (heck, they think pedophilia is A-okay!).
How old is she? I went thru a similar phase 10 years ago in middle school, but then I found real guys to date.Â
wow...seriously? i mean, i have my fictional character crushes, but this is taking it to far. maybe you just need to talk to her about her obsession.
@pandasp0ts@xanga - That's probably a way to jolt her into feeling what he is feeling. Get how much it is really hurting him. I almost wrote so mething about my personal situation into Datingish.
How old is she? That's expected from a 13-15 year old .. sadly.. If
anything, you can try talking to a close friend of hers and have them
talk to her about that. I'm not sure if it would do any good if you
talked to her about it because you might not be that close with her
yet.. to understand. Â (But then again, who would?)
Urms, most def. it sounds like Edward Cullen (<3). I'm a big Twilight fan... but not that big. Give her some time to get off of that Twilight high... g'luck!
Could it even BE anyone but Edward Cullen?