Wednesday, 24 December 2008
-
Got Backup?
This is a guest blog submitted by thistimeimperfect.
Perhaps this phenomenon was simply known as "settling," but then Friends came along and recoined the term as "backup". That is, you set an age-limit (say, 30) when you and your close friend (if the two of you are both single) will get married.
I once entered this casually-binding mutual agreement in the past (I suppose it's still standing), but am wondering if it's a good/bad idea. How do you feel about having a backup? Do you have a backup?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: thistimeimperfect
- Name: thistimeimperfect
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 0 Views: 0 0 Comments: 0 0 View all posts by thistimeimperfect
Comments (45)
thanks for subscribing!
I don't have a backup. Knowing the kind of person I am, I would never be able to keep an agreement like that anyway. "Give me one more year!!!" Lol.
don't be insecure about being unmarried at 30, wait to find a guy you love!
my best guy friend asked me out right when my current boyfriend and i were in the courting stages cause he was sick of being single... and it would have worked okay, but i definitely wouldn't be as happy with him as i am with my boyfriend.
No back up for me either.
i wouldn't make that agreement, i love my best friend, but it would be weird to marry him, but if you think its right, just be sure its what you both want.
Um...no. I've never done that and never would. I've never been the settling type. Anything less than true love, true devotion...well, it's just not worth it for me. I'd rather be single forever than settle for someone who isn't just right for me.
But maybe that's just me...
-Katie
I think it's dumb. Either you love someone or you don't, period.
I wouldn't do it. Unless I had a really good prenup and seperate finances, rooms and bathrooms. :p
Supposedly when we each hit 55. I think we were half joking though...I think
hahha! The idea might sound cute..........but I think in reality it isn't. What if you end up with your backup and things go wrong?? either its this way or that way.........
"...am wondering if it's a good/bad idea..."
Personally, I think don't think it's a good idea. At least I won't do that myself. So, no I don't have a back up.
It's personal freedom between that two people who are getting marry (under the situation that BOTH KNOW they are each other back up)....e.g. "X" marry "Y". X treat Y as his back up, but Y didn't know that. Then it's NOT okay.
No backup plan. I will find someone who loves me and I love just as much.
In theory it sounds like a great plan. But you don't really love that person. If that is who you truly want to end up with then go for it NOW, why waste time? What if you marry this backup person and suddenly meet the person of your dreams? What happens then?
Me and my best friend have something like that. lol
It seems very desperate.
you should marry someone you love not someone you made an agreement with....
love is not a choice
why would you have such a thing? Just let it be natural and who cares if a person isn't married by x age?
Yes.
But I'd rather be dating her now.
It's pretty sad.
thats so not a good plan. its for losers.
I agree with
graywolf0@xanga...it seems very desperate and just because you are close friends doesn't mean marriage would work out. There are many things that could happen...
1. You guys marry then either one of you could find "the one".
2. Marriage brings up major problems that you guys didn't even think about and then you don't even stay friends....
3. Had an agreement, but one actually likes the other while the other still sees it as an agreement
4. One wants to back out of the agreement/marriage for whatever reason. That also can open up a can of worms...etc
And if you do something like fakegeisha@xanga "suggested" then why even be married?? It's like a room mate!
So in dream land that idea sounds great but in reality it's a really bad idea.
Hope this helps,
Blessed Be
One of my guy friends and I made a "back up" agreement some time ago. We told one another if we both we're still single and in our thirty, we'll get married. lol. But of course, it don't always work out like you planned. lol. And I don't think I would of stuck to that plan if I was still single, anyways.
*knock* *knock* who's there?
Hi friend! Remember 10 yrs ago when we had that deal?oh... crap... I'm not hereeeeee.....
no.
No no no no no. BAD idea. Don't marry just anyone. I rather be single.
I believe mine is at 40. We always had this love/hate relationship but through thick and thin he is always there. I don't think it is a problem. It is amusing to a degree and provides a bit of safety. Although I sincerely hope that I do not have to come to that stage, but it wouldn't be that bad at the same time.