Tuesday, 23 December 2008
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How to Be One of the Guys (Without Losing Your Girliness)
Mr. Giraffe
In every group of guys, there's always the Token Girl - she's usually well-versed in sports knowledge, can keep up with the boys while drinking and can give good advice when the guys have girl trouble. But sometimes the Token Girl can develop what I call Al Lambert Syndrome (named after the tomboy from Step by Step, of course).That's where the girl - literally one of the guys - and her friends (and maybe a potential crush) forget that she is indeed a female.So how do you avoid Al Lambert Syndrome? Well, here are the conclusions I've come to in my travels:
1. Just because you hang out with a bunch of guys doesn't mean that you have to dress like one. Remind them you're a girl.
2. Don't always be available. When you're not around, they'll probably be talking about you.
3. When they call you about their dumb girlfriends, don't be the shoulder on which they cry. Just like with guys, being the confidant is a one-way ticket to the Friend Zone.
4. Even if you don't have one, tell them you've got a hot date. Make them jealous.
5. Have a life outside of the group.
What do you think? Is there a Token Girl in your group of friends?
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Comments (76)
"3. When they call you about their dumb girlfriends, don't be the
shoulder on which they cry. Just like with guys, being the confidant is
a one-way ticket to the Friend Zone."
Completely untrue. Once you're a guy's confidant, you're close enough to be a potential girlfriend. At least that's how its been in my experience. Besides, don't you WANT to be in the friend zone? If you're the token girl in an all guy group, you want to remain friends with all of them rather than try to become a girlfriend to one of them. That'll just ruin the whole group. >.<
Psh. I am the token girl.
I agree with Moktral. I AM that token girl. Ugh. My life is so hard. Haha.
What's wrong with being the token girl FRIEND? I can't speak for other women, but personally, I'd rather not have every guy on the planet lusting after me. I'd love for them to see me as just another FRIEND.
I have a man, thank you. And I will surely dress comfortably around my guy friends, and not try to make them jealous (wth?)
Worst. Datingish Post. Ever.
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - I was going to say all of those things(well, except for this being the worst datingish post ever. I've seen worst).
How dare you beat me to it?!
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - Agreed.
<--- token girl
haha, yeah, i'm pretty much the token girl. but i don't think it's wrong to be the shoulder to cry on. i think that just makes you closer.
me!
...You probably don't want to give the guys in the group a reason to hit on you if your the solo girl.
On the flip side, if your the token guy in the group of girls, the advice might be more relevant.
token girl right here!
I am the token girl... and I love it :) Sometimes they even call me Mike instead of McKenna.... I love my friends to death but I've decided dating within the group is a bad idea, so it's better this way. Just being one of the guys...
They do realize I'm a girl a lot of the time, though... their girlfriends are always trying to hook me up with different guys and I go on dates so why wouldn't I enjoy being one of the guys?
I'm the token female. Usually, I don't mind, because I am not romantically interested in most of my male friends. It's usually a lot of fun.
But sometimes I just don't get it. I dress like a woman, I have long hair, I wear makeup. I have a life (I'm a composer making an album). I'm not clingy or needy. I don't act desparate. I don't "need" a man in my life. But for some reason, every guy I get to know sees me as the token girl. Someone who is great to have fun with, someone who's "like a sister." Guys are never romantically attracted to me. I wish I knew why. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm either just not very attractive or I have some sort of major personality flaw that is blatantly obvious to everyone but me.
i am the token girl...
2. Don't always be available. When you're not around, they'll probably be talking about you.
and that's very true. i've walked into a conversation that they were having about me...awkward, but still nice to know i was being appreciated.
i'm the anti-token girl. i have a bunch of guy friends, but they are friends because i've dated them all. it's a weird balance, i think. you seem to have a good conclusion.
That'd be me. Sigh. There are some things that I've been privy to that I wish I hadn't witnessed.
I'm the token girl. I like hanging out with guys cause they're more laid back and less drama.
You just have to give off the unattainable vibe. :)
i'm the token girl. except i deff don't have Al Lambert Syndrome lol! the guys will talk about me, when i'm RIGHT THERE. i don't mind though. i'm kinda one of the guys, but i still get treated like a girl. it's nice :)
Terrible advice / perspective in general.
I was the token girl with my ex and the group. We were all friends first, went to the same high school, ate together at lunch, made the fart jokes and all that jazz, and I was just one of the guys then that moved into "girlfriend". The problem I kept having was that he (my ex) would often treat me more like one of the guys than as his girlfriend. I just wanted to smack him sometimes and say "I HAVE A VAGINA, DAMMIT!"
Dunno how to fix it, though. If you ever figure it out, let me know...most of my friends are guys.
i was once the token female in a group of guys who were the most popular at my high school. it was cool but always always keep your group of girlfriends too
@josiebunny@xanga - thats so not true when it comes to the preppy guys. because then they only see you as the shoulder to cry on and will NEVER EVER see u as the typical girl next door. or even a possiblity to date. so if you have it that way then good for you but thats how it is in our social circle. <3
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - i agree with u too
this is weird why cant guy be our friends?hmmm...
lol lie to ppl about a hot date?? that is soooo weird....
haha, I'm the token girl....wouldn't have it any other way. But I don't have Al Lambert Syndrome.......I just think guys have less drama in their lives, that's why I'm always out with them.
@ashleyreneerocks - Ah, I've never exactly been too close to the typical "preppy" guy. Maybe there are some differences. :)