Tuesday, 23 December 2008
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Dear Dr. Datingish: My BF's Ex Wants to Be Friends
Dr. Datingish
My boyfriend's ex-girlfriend wants to be friends. She's sweet and all, but the drama in my group of friends is already high and I think this would only make things worse... I'm conflicted - I do want to be nice to her, but I really don't think I want to be friends with her.
I know my boyfriend would feel awkward if she and I suddenly became best friends or something. What do I do?
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Comments (28)
I think you should be friendly to her, but don't let her get too close... at least, until the drama settles down.
I think you already know your answer:
I do want to be nice to her, but I really don't think I want to be friends with her.
You don't have to be friends to be nice to her.
LOL. just saying. i'm in almost the same situation as you.. but not quite!
i have a girl(NOT AN EX) that likes my bf and when we first started dating in October, she told me that she wanted to be my friend. Best friend, to be exact. I thought that she would get over him and so we became "friends", only to see that she wanted to hang out with "us", and asking my bf to hang out with her "behind" my back (he showed me her sent texts and of course said no). She still likes him and wants to hang out with us. And it stinks cause she isn't trying to get over him! The worst part is, she is a drama queen (or possibly bipolar)and believes that she will get over my bf by "waiting and prayer"- which means she isn't acting on it. she isn't backing away.
My advice to you (from my mistake :P) Don't let her come too close to you. It's a hard road to take. As long as she isn't too close, when the drama dies down, maybe befriend her more. As for now, just be friendly to her but try not to hang out too much. Like an acquaintance.
I would try to keep her at about the same distance that she is from your bf. If they're close friends, then there shouldn't be anything wrong with the two of you being close. If they're just distant acquaintances, then it might be a little creepy for you to get closer than that.
Keep her at some distance. Girls sometimes try to befriend their exes' new flames in order to stay in the ex's life or see what the "competition" is like.
LOL for me i can't do it. I will say hi to him but not "HEY!! LET'S BE BFF!".Â
like what they say, "keep your friends close and your enemies even closer".... just be careful because girls can be evil in a very 'nice' way.
Just be nice to her but no need to get too close. It might get uncomfortable later on.
How long has it been since they broke up? If it is an ex of a very long time ago, I don't see the harm. If it's recent, wait a bit to become close friends (if you want to be) and just treat her like a normal friend.
Keep your friends close & enemies closer
Arent you curious of why she wana be your friend?
Just keep a watchful eye on her
just become friends but not too too close.
you might need her one day. who knows?
on a weird note. my ex bf's new gf wants to be my friend ...creepy.
"You don't have to be friends to be nice to her."
Kill her, eat her heart, and steal her clothes. Absorb her essence and you shall become... ULTRA GIRLFRIEND!
Kali maaa....
you can in fact, choose who you want to associate with.
@Schristian@xanga - Hahaha nice.
been there. done that. bad idea.
if your boyfriend's ex sought you out, it means she's watching what (or who) he's doing. in turn, that means she has feelings for him. which eventually lends itself to "lets see if i can cause trouble for the two of them." =|
do you really wanna take the chance?
well, don't be a bitch.
nothing wrong with being nice, but no need to become bosom buddies
my situation is similar.
my boyfs ex is now dating MY ex.
i was weird about him still being friends with her right after they broke up and he dated me, but im friends with her now.
she poses no threat since shes dating my ex, who is still one of my good friends.
id wait til she moved on, so you know shes not after your man.
all cons and no pros... why do it?
Ugh. crappy situation. Here's my little balance: I'm nice to one of my bf's exes, but I'm NOT friends with her. She just makes it awkward because of the ways she acts; my bf has commented that she seems intimidated of me.Â
I don't talk to his other exes. They're crazy bitches who tried to start with me because they're insecure and stupid.
Don't go out of your way. Especially if your guy doesn't seem to care too much for you being friends with her. It's just a bad road, and you can't trust the girl. She may have ulterior motives...Â
In my opinion, being friends with her has no bad side to it. In life, there's always going to be drama and you're just going to have to get used to it.
If your boyfriend is uncomfortable with you guys being friends, he needs to get over it.
Hi Dont get her to get close to u.. With my bad experience, at first I thought it was nothing. Just friend with my ex's ex gf for awhile.. but something happened.. They were fooling around behind my back.. Yep they were back together so I dumped him.. Dont want to see that happens to u.. I am not really crazy to be friends with my hubby's ex gf.. He knows.. Same goes with him not to be friends with my ex either.. :)
I prefer to keep my husband's ex-girlfriends at arm's length. Most of them are really respectful of the fact that we are now married but there is one that apparently doesn't know her boundaries.
I just am nice to her and keep an open line of communication with her. I don't really *like* her nor is she the kind of girl I want to be like, "hey, let's go shoppping!" but, if we're out somewhere and I see her I MAKE SURE to say hi and ask her how she is. I don't want to be her friend but I'm definitely not going to be mean to her.