This is a guest blog submitted by nobody_911.So this is really just a random thought, because I've been thinking about my "love life" recently.
My boyfriend tells me he loves me; I take it and tell him I love him too. But I've just been thinking, are we just throwing this word around, or do we both actually mean it? I'm fifteen and he's thirteen (if you're going to comment calling me a pedophile or lecture me then don't even bother). Sometimes I think it's possible that we could actually love each other. We've been dating officially for five, almost six months, but we've been "together" for around a year. We've been through quite a lot together, we know almost everything about each other and we're just so close as friends, not just as a couple.
We haven't done too much together sexually, which I think is a good sign; it shows that neither of us is just in it for the physical side of the relationship. All of our friends talk about our being "in love" too - they all think we are. So I was just thinking, do you think kids of our ages could really feel true love?
Can people this young know what love is?
Comments are much appreciated!
Comments (330)
you can fall in love at any age, i have never been in love, some day i will.
I'm not going to sit here and just state "no, you are too young," without reasoning so here it is:
Studies have shown that teenagers can't properly process love, consequences, emotions, etc. Teenager's brains are still growing very rapidly. So yes, I do believe that, love has it's limits when it comes to age and people shouldn't take offense to that. Also, I hate it when people say "studies have shown...." and not show me anything so here:
http://parentingteens.about.com/cs/health/a/TEEN_BRAIN_2.htm
Also, from experience you won't really understand until you are, sad to say, older. When you are older and look back on things "lights" turn on and you can understand them so much better than before. Yes, humans do that through out their entire life, but it's a huge light when it's young adult "looking back" at teenager.
Teenagers now and days are trying to grow up a lot faster than they really truly are. Teenager THINK that they "know everything" and can do everything everyone else that is older can. They only think that way because their mind just can't process all of the "pieces" (reasoning in the studies). I also mainly blame society and some on parents (not all parents mind you) for the "growing up too quickly". I applaud you for posting this and "looking for help". If you are truly doing this for answers then you need to take the advise maturely and make the right decisions with it. :)
I hope this helps...
Good Luck and Blessed Be
people change as they get older. you guys are not mature yet. i think it's possible you could be in love, but be warned, you're both going to change a lot personality wise as you get older. Either of you might not like the changes.
First of all. I think it's really cute and good that you guys have been together for about a year. I think it's even BETTER you haven't done much sexually yet. Seriously, wait on that. Not just because he's only 13 and you're only 15, but it complicated things. ALOT. I am 24 and although been in about 4 serious relationships, I have only been in love twice. And the first time I was 16.. so I guess the short answer is yes, I do think you can be in love with someone at that age. But, there is so much you're going to learn later, (about yourself, him, others, the world around you) that is going to change your perspective on love and what it means to you. In a sense, the love you're in now will be very different and more simple than the love you will hopefully experience in your later teens and twenties. Enjoy where you are, but don't take this love so seriously right now because in all honestly, there's alot yet to learn about love. I would actually try not to be in a serious relationship at your age, just to learn about more people, but you know what's best for you. Goodluck!
PS. Don't feel pressured to do or think in any way because of your friends. I know right now your friends are prbbly a huge part of your life nad maybe even more important to you than your family, but this too will change. You are the only person who, in the end, has to live with your actions and life.
I believe that you can be in love with someone at any age, but I believe that you experience different kinds of love with different people, maturity levels, etc. Also note that there is a difference between loving a person and being in love with that person. You can love a person without being in love with them.
love isn't really meant to be understood, just experienced. so whether or not someone is in love can really only be defined by the beholder.
Love can be looked at in so many ways, it's your perspective that matters most to you, though, so however you describe it, is the absolute true description for you, no one else can take it, or bend it in any shape. You'll learn a lot through time, and your description of love will start to grow more and more complex, but I'm sure as of right now, to you, it's love.
me and my boyfriend have always said we love each other and we mean it. we've really never felt this way about anyone else. (i'm 14 and he's 15) so i think you could be in love but you have to think about it.
do you want to spend the rest of your life with him?
would you die for him?
do you care about him so much that you wish you could just hold him in your arms and never let him go?
if you answered yes to all these questions, then you're most likely in love with him.
depends on the person, and experience.
the next time you are "in love" it'll be slightly dif now because you will learn more about your needs and more about guys and what they do.
I don't really know, in other words.
Definitely. I believe love can mean something different each year of life. When you're older and you look back, you might think you were never actually in love with someone. I think the reason why is because your experiences after that period has evolved your definition of love. I have no doubt that I loved the boy I dated at 16 (especially since we dated 2 years and went through a lot together), but my love for my current bf is very different.Â
okay well you can't be a pedophile because you're not even of legal age.. you're mad young! haha but I'm not judging you. My boyfriend is 14 months younger than me, so sometimes we have that awkward sounding age gap like 19 and 17... haha
and that's good you guys aren't doing anything sexually... you're 15 and 13 0_o trust me, don't start doing anything heavy this early. you will regret it, GUARANTEE you. (personal experience from someone older!)
I know it seems like you've been through a lot together but there's so much more that is to come - you both being in high school, proms, dances, college, long distance.. there's so much more and its such a way away... if I were you I wouldn't even be worrying about love right now. sure, love is the most wonderful thing in this world but you need to live your life and have fun while you can. I'd kill to be 15 again!!
I don't think it matters the age. I look at my ex-boyfriend from when I was 15 and still have feelings of love for him. I think many people are in relationships at a young age and even though things may not work out, later in life you still think of them as your first love. being young is a time for people to try new things and that's why i think it's hard for younger people to having a lifelong relationship even if they do love eachother.
Love can happen at any age. But if seeing that person just brings a smile to your face, even for a split second if you're mad at them or something, and when you're with this person you feel lighter, the world looks brighter and the world doesn't seem so bad anymore, you would rather be fighting with this person then fooling around with anyone else, and the thought of losing them makes you nauseus and cry from the fear of it, to the point where it is borderline obsession then that's real love in my opinion. Please don't go out and stalk that person though, there really is a line between cute and creepy.
Love is a very powerful force. it has no age limit, and it does not care where you're at in your life.
If your relationship can withstand the changes you'll both go through as people and life, then it definitely can be labeled as "love". [:
Love is love at any age. If you feel love for him and he feels love for you, then I'd say yes. You probably are both in love. I can't say from my end if you are or not; I don't even know you.
But does love mean he's the only one and you'll end up married and live happily together for the rest of your lives? Maybe not. It is possible, of course. But love is not always a permanent thing.Â
I think that's what some people mean when they say they 'thought they were in love'. In most cases, they actually were in love at the time, and then something changed. Situations and people can change rather quickly, even more so when you are young and still in the process of growing up. Maybe that's where the idea comes from that young love is not 'real' and that it never lasts. I say all love is real.
In any case, that's just my two cents. I don't know you, as I said, I just thought I'd comment. :)
According to Maslow's Hierachy of Needs (psychology), love is at level 3 and possible to achieve after you satisfy the basic physiological needs (level 1) and security (level 2).
And from this view, age is not necessary an factor.
If you can love your mom when you're a baby, why can't you love your boyfriend when you're 13?
You can fall in love at any age. Whether that means you're ready for a commitment or to get married is a different story.
@Liera@xanga - lol thats what all my older cousins told me when I was a kid
But now I'm in college - its hard to meet guys cause all they wana do is study
--- As for your ques :
13 & 15 its just puppy love - infatuation..
i dont believe AGE has to do anything with love.
I'm skeptical to use the word "love" at
all. There isn't any age limit, minimum or maximum, but I tend to be kinda pessimistic about the prospects of love at such a young age. I would be extremely hesitant to jump to any conclusions about love during the teenage years. Even after that, I would be skeptical. I guess I'm just insecure or scared, shrug.
But the word "love" has really lost it's meaning. It kills me to see people abuse it. I guess it really doesn't matter though.Because, even though love may be a noun, it's more of a verb and that's something you can't really capture using simple words.
I
thought this quote gets across how I feel about the word "love"... It's extreme but it underscores how people are attached and obligated by a word, not the action or feeling
If you say, I love you, then you have already fallen in love with language, which is already a form of break up and infidelity.
-Jean Baudrillard
saying you're too young to be in love and know what love is,
is the same thing as saying that you're too young to be happy and to know what happiness is.
you can't put age on an emotion.
you know how you feel.
what you think is all that matters.
sometime is not love, is just.. a habit..
i thought i'm in love when i was 16. but.. the actual fact was.. i was so used to his company. after he left me.. i realize.. i can live without him.
but i'm glad both of u din't have any sexually stuff yet. cause.. time will prove everything.. if he is being with you cause of sex.. or being with you cause he sincerely.. love you..
;)
I think at 15 you're pretty mature for asking this question =) When I was 15, and even just before I graduated from high school, I was also careful about using the word 'love' and never really used it because I knew that wasn't how I felt about any of the guys I was involved with. I'm 20 now, and it turns out I was right. I think that sometimes you don't know what is and isn't true love until enough time (say a few years) has passed.
As you mature you'll find out if what your feeling right now is real love or not. Sure, could be. But then again, it might not be.
for your age itll be what you consider as love but i think when you look back on this once youre older youll see that you grew and youll have a better perception of love.i thought i was in love when i was 17 through 19 but looking back on it i dont think i was. not saying that your situation will be the same but it may be similar.