This is a guest blog submitted by nobody_911.So this is really just a random thought, because I've been thinking about my "love life" recently.
My boyfriend tells me he loves me; I take it and tell him I love him too. But I've just been thinking, are we just throwing this word around, or do we both actually mean it? I'm fifteen and he's thirteen (if you're going to comment calling me a pedophile or lecture me then don't even bother). Sometimes I think it's possible that we could actually love each other. We've been dating officially for five, almost six months, but we've been "together" for around a year. We've been through quite a lot together, we know almost everything about each other and we're just so close as friends, not just as a couple.
We haven't done too much together sexually, which I think is a good sign; it shows that neither of us is just in it for the physical side of the relationship. All of our friends talk about our being "in love" too - they all think we are. So I was just thinking, do you think kids of our ages could really feel true love?
Can people this young know what love is?
Comments are much appreciated!
Comments (330)
I think that, in a way, you might love him (I only say might because I don't know you). There are many different types of love, and a lot of them are based on your maturity level or your relation to the other person. I love my father but nowhere near the same way as I love my boyfriend.
I think you'll find that as you get older, your love will develop and become far more complex. As it does, be more cautious about saying "I love you" to people, as they might be more mature than you and take it in a way that isn't really want you meant it to be.
When I was thirteen, I was in a relationship with an older boy.. I thought I was in love.
Now I'm about to turn 19 and I realize that it wasn't really love.
Maybe younger people feel different forms of love or maybe it's just lust, I don't know.
Now that I'm a little older, I can take relationships more seriously and I can feel a deeper kind of love... If that makes any sense.
I think it depends on the maturity level. It is quite possible for someone to be in love at 13 in my opinion. Some people just don't get it though. A 13 year old may be just as ready and mature to say I love you as a 40 year old. Just depends. :]
Personally, I am in love. I'm 13. You could say- no way- yeah right. I have loved this guy for three years, the moment I met him. He loves me back. :]
It just depends. There is no "age limit."
I would say it depends on the maturity level of the two people.
So many people throw the word around these days like it's nothing; or they think it means something, but they look back and realize it wasn't love at all.
I think that it all depends on what your definition of "love" really is.
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years, and I have never heard him say "I love you" before. When I asked him, he told me that he cares for me deeply, but "love" to him was that he would trade his life for me over anything (really, like, EVERYTHING--family, money, happiness). That was intense. So, I accepted that.
I think it's hard to explain how much you feel about someone, especially in English, because it seems like "love" is the strongest word we have in our vocabulary that expresses devotion ("like" is of course another, but at a verrry less degree). However, in Vietnamese, there are at least 3 or 4 different ways to express how you feel about someone, and each have a completely different level of "love" for someone. I hear that in French, there's 13 different ways to say you love someone...maybe that's why it's the language of romance :b
i think it IS possible, but then again, at 25 i'm not convinced i know what love is...particularly romantic love. as young as you are though, i'm glad you guys are taking it slow and i hope u continue to do so
cheers!
I don't think at the age of 13 that you can truly love someone of the opposite sex like that. Care for perhaps, like... but love means longterm commitment. And I don't personally think a 13 yr. old is ready to make a longterm commitment. They haven't even lived life yet.
I would say that it's very rare. possible, but not likely.
My roommate and her boyfriend have been together for 6 and a half years! They started dating when they were 13, and have been thru a lot, their parents didnt want them to date, and they hid it for years, but truthfully and objectively speaking, they're perfect for each other and I've no doubt that they're in love. and they love each other (personally I make the distinction between loving someone, and being in love, but whatever that's another story). Not only do they get along well, and know how to communicate with each other (even when no one else understands what they're saying), most importantly they know how to work out their problems. They can compromise, and even if they fight, their love still brings them back together.
It's very possible that there are many different types and levels of love, and I've no doubt that their love has evolved over time, but even still, in the beginning, there could have been love, too.
I'm glad you guys are taking it slowly, and i'm happy for you even if it doesnt turn out to be love. don't worry and just enjoy your time together
good luck! =)
Love is complex. No one (at any age) can define it under any universal rule... It depends on what the word means to you.
Personally, I think you can love at any age.
As mentioned before, I think there are different types of love. Perhaps at such a young age, the two of you just feel very close and intimate with each other (not the sexual way) and have immense feelings. I don't want to knock you down and what not, but when I was 13 I thought I was in love with every boyfriend I got close to, but now I realize that those guys don't even compare to the love I have with my boyfriend of almost 3 years. I wish you both the best of luck with your relationship and perhaps it can truly develop into a very deep and spiritual love. I think you two definitely have a different kind of love than the types that you save for your friends and family though. Enjoy your relationship! =D
I believe it's the maturity level. I have seen some 13's yr old who actually are mature about their relationship. And I have seen a girl date so many boys (nothing sexual done between them) and she has said i love you to every single one of them.
I think you might have a loving care for each other, but your not "in love". Wait a good while, its good to tell people you care and love each other, but its also good to define what kind of love it is. Ill let you knnow, the first year of a relationship is always the easiest... You will know when you really love this person.
I really don't think it matters, it depends on the ppl. My first gf was in 7th grade and when I was 13 and am now 19 and a freshman in college. I look back at all my relationships, one over a year and another that was about 9 months. The rest being just over a month each. I look back at all of them and can say I was IN LOVE one time. I was 14 and 15 years old in the relationship and a freshman in high school. I thought i was in love then as well and since have never had something even close to what that was. She ended up breaking up wiht me the day after her bday with coincidentally is the day before mine. I was still in love with her and she with me but she got scared becuz we were young. She even tells me she regret is today but she has changed a lot and even though we are friends I don't love her, I love the person she used to be. The person she became sorta disgusts me actually which saddens me greatly.
Also love and in love are totally different, you can love a gf/bf and not be in love. Hell, I love all my friends, some as much as family, tho the love between a gf and bf are of course also different.
i was feeling the same way for a while as you.
i'm fourteen and my boyfriend is the same age. we've been going out for almost 10 months now, but at the beginning of our relationship i was wondering if it was too soon to call it love. i mean, i just turned fourteen, what did i know about love?!honestly, i feel that true love has no age limit.you can't define love according to how old you are or anything like that, love is something that can't be defined- it can only be felt.so to answer your question, you'll know it in your heart if he's the one who makes you happier than you've ever been, and you feel on top of the world, then it's love. (:I always like to think it's possible to love at w/e age. However, when we're younger we may think we're in love at the time but later on in life find out we weren't really. I thought I was in love with this one girl when I was 18, but looking back now I can definitely say I wasn't in love with her the same way as I was w/ the next gf. Love is such a complicated thing though; I can no way judge whether or not your love is for real.
Love can happen at pretty much any age, so yeah maybe you do love him, but is he "the one"? Probably not. The thing is, your definition of love now will be completely different from your definition of love a few years down the road from now. You'll see, especially when you get to college, how big the world is and how many people you'll end up dating and loving in your life.
wow. my little brother's 13 and all he wants to do is feel a girl up. in retrospect, i shouldn't have wasted my time with middle school and high school boys. wait till you're in college, the selection and quality will be better.
You're too young to know what love truly is.
Love isn't just an emotion.
It's also a commitment.
i dont think a 13 year old love is the same as a say 21 year old love...you're just not that the same maturity level.
and i would even question if a 13 yr old and a 15 yr old are at the same maturity level...
you might love each other but its not quite the same as a mature loving relationship. i'm not an expert but i just cant see it being the same thing
It may be love, but perhaps it may not be your greatest love since you're both so young and you sound a little iffy about it. There's different types of love and you're just at the beginning stage.
When I was that age, I probably would have said that of course it's possible to be in love! But now that I'm older, my perspective has changed. I'm not sure you can really love somebody (in the way you're talking about) without first really knowing who you are. And that doesn't happen until later.
As teenagers, I think we often confuse love with lust. When the hormones calm down and both parties really understand who they are and what they want out of life and relationships, that's where the deeper sort of love will come into play.
Don't be in such a hurry to grow up. It will happen when the time is right.
Honestly, after first reading this I was thinking "You are freaking crazy. Love at 15/13???" Then I remembered that I got with my first serious boyfriend at age 12. We were the same age and stayed together until we were 17, about halfway through senior year of high school. I'm 22 now and I'm in love with someone else, but looking back, I did truly love that guy and we ended up lasting for 5 years. So I guess you really do never know. Only time will tell. Cliche, but true.
Love
[luhv] Noun, verb, love-d lov-ing
1.a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
Of course! And besides, it's not like you can't comprehend love until you turn 18 or something. =)
There are different kinds of love and it all depends on the people involved. To me, love is what you make of it, not what everyone else says. I've considered myself to be in love since I was sixteen (I'm eighteen now). Yeah, there are people who don't believe me because of my age (they're mainly "adults"), but I say that they can't judge because they could never know how I feel, nor could I effectively articulate it.
take it from me,
im 15 as well, almost 16th.
i convinced myself i was inlove with my ex boyfriend
we were together for 8 1/2 months;
but recently i have been thinking about it and everything we have been through. dont get me wrong i cared about him so much,
but i dont think it was 'true love'. i met someone else after him,
who in reality became my best friends,
but in another sence we were 'more then friends'
anyway, we had such a strong connection,
and although i never came out and told him
that i loved him or anything, i belive i did
because i have never been happier.
but anyway, there is no way someone esle can tell you if your in love
its the way you feel about the person, and no one else can tell you how you feel, or if what you are feeling is wrong.
if you are in love, truly, in your heart you will just know.