Thursday, 18 December 2008
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"If It's Meant To Be, It Will Be" And Other Horrible Phrases
This is a guest blog submitted by Casey.I hate the phrase "if it's meant to be, it will be".
My boyfriend of nearly a year and a half recently broke up with me, and after the breakup, we continued to try to be friends. The problem is that I'm having trouble getting over him completely. And he tells me he still thinks sometimes that he made a mistake. So when I ask him why we don't try again, he throws that ever frustrating phrase at me.
I feel like although this phrase is true, too many people use it as simply a copout, or an excuse to do nothing. By saying that, he essentially tells me "I'm too lazy or I don't care enough to be with you, but I don't want you to move on just in case."
What other phrases do exes or other people tell you that you can't stand? What do they really mean by them?
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Comments (160)
That might be a good cliche, but I have aquestion: you say he regrets breaking up. What was the reason for him breaking up with you? ANd that cliche is better used for for the possibility of another Joe or Jane.
"it's not you, it's me"
"honestly, I don't know what I want"
"It's better to have loved and lost, than never to haveloved at all."
"Whatever."
In an argument, nothing angers me more than the word "whatever." I basically flip out when I hear it. My boyfriend loves to say it when he's angry.
"I'm not the right guy for you." ... WTF?!
I"i just only wanna be your friend"
I think people say those phrases as an easy way out. It leaves some false encouragement for a chance in the future. Or maybe they are confused themselves about the future so they want to leave it open ended. In this way, it is safe for them that they say these ambiguous phrases.
I say get as far away from this confusion as possible. You staying friends with your ex is clouding your mind as his has been clouded for some time now.
@comet555@xanga - Time wounds all heals.
Haha.
@spokenfor@xanga - I agree! Although that would also make me a hypocrite because I use those phrases too... but i GENUINELY mean it. I didn't say it just to say it.... *sigh*
"If you love something, set it free, if it comes back to you then it is yours, if it doesnt, it was never meant to be"
I think phrases like that & all the other ones that have been mentioned are just "healing" phrases. It helps you heal during a breakup because honestly, once you've MOVED ON (completely), whether you cross paths with the other person or not, it doesnt matter anymore. This is just a "bridge" from break up to recovery. Good luck!
"I love you but I can't be with you... (insert excuse here) "
what is that? like seriously... if you love a person you would try anything to be with him/her...
I'm sorry this phrase is the end of a relationship...
I hate hearing everything happens for a reason
"Don't worry, you'll find an amazing guy! He is just around the corner! "
I have been hearing that for 3 years now!
@lmflazyjai1984@xanga - Amen! I've heard that one before..made me want to punch him in the face and be like what the hell?! If you love me why dont you want to be with me
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you."
LMFAO
"We can still be friends". Excuse me, you just broke my damn heart. The last thing I want to think about at that moment is being friends. Leave me alone! (my ex gave me that line the first time we broke up)
"Let's take a break." Take it for what it really is, not what they're saying. It's a convenient way to take a look at what else is available and come back if there's nothing you want.
I'm half tempted to link this to her so she'd stop saying it.
Other phrases such as "I'll always be there" make me irritated, because its not true. More accurate would be "I'll be there as long as its convienent to me"
ARG!
@whatsupyeh@xanga - AHHHH YES THAT ONE! It's so retarded!
Although the song is for a different reason, the lyrics of "Call Me When You're Sober" come to mind:
"Don't cry to me. If you loved me, you would be here with me."
Ugh.
@ashyy17@xanga - that's the lamest excuse ever possible...
@comet555@xanga - yes... it's BS... what heals us is when we stand back up ourselves and move on... not time... time is just what we used... the scar is still there and sometime it hurts when you touch it
i used to always say that phrase...
it means i'm still working on getting over you. and if he succeeds, it really is over. for me, it was a purging away of the feelings of attachment i had to my exgf. sometimes, it meant looking through old photos late at night by myself...
but if that's what it took to miss my exgf... but not tell her about it, that's what i had to do... after months and months... she would fade away and take away a bit of that loving feeling.... oh well... he probably thinks there's someone else who's a better fit for him or you. he wants to believe in a greater love.
"I never learned to love."
total bullcrap when the SO is willing to work hard, and especially when there's no rough upbringing to back it up.
@whatsupyeh@xanga - yeah they always use that when they are grabbing your heart out of your chest and chewing it up and spitting it out in front of you
"You're a nice girl, but I'm not ready for a girlfriend"
I've had one guy have the nerve to say this to me... this usually means "I'm a selfish bastard and I want to keep you around for now because I haven't found anyone better yet". So as soon as he realized that I was dating someone else, he got really pissed and jealous...haha but by then I didn't really want anything to do with him. His loss.
Yeah, I hate the whole "meant to be" cliche. It's just a way to avoid responsibility for the choices we make.
I also hate the whole, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" excuse. I mean, if you want to break up, then fine. But why shit all over the memory of a relationship? Why waste someone's time and leave them feeling as though everything they were feeling was a lie? (I wrote about this a while ago: http://www.xanga.com/kaleidescopeeyes88/676044886/item.html) Sometimes I wonder if that's just a nicer way of saying, "I'm not attracted to you anymore but I don't want to feel like an asshole about it."
"never go to bed angry with each other."
sooo...would you rather have me fight like hell, or would you rather have me calm down first? and if we get in a fight at midnight, and i have work the next day, you better believe i'm gonna sleep!
Try this one...
"You can find someone better, I am not good for you"
well, there's no who's better, is who I want...