This is a guest blog submitted by caeli.I am currently being chased after by three guys, one of whom has already asked me out. Let me break it down for you:
Guy #1: My Older Sister's High School FriendHe's 24, so five years older than I am. He works at a good software company and makes a decent living. I met him through one of my friends while having a house party (the non-alcoholic kind). I initially had a slight crush on him when I met him because he was very funny and socialized well with all his friends that night. I got to know him better, but it seems that the more I got to know him, my initial impression of him went downhill ...exponentially.
I tend to be a very sarcastic person, but I make it obvious enough that it is funny. However, he became offended with one of my comments and gave me attitude back, so I also got offended because he couldn't take a joke AT ALL. And apparently, my sister also knows him and she told me he was a recluse back in high school and was quite the awkward turtle. Moreover, my friend who introduced us also told me he was quite a sloppy guy and had never dated; therefore, he does not how to treat a girl properly.
I continued to go on a "date" (to this day I still do not consider that outing a date) with him, and we went to see Batman together. We said we'd meet 10 minutes before the show started, but when we got there the tickets were sold out. We had to wait for three hours until the next show, so we wandered around town doing nothing, and no, he did not offer any food or anything, so the three hours went by boringly. He walked so fast I had to almost jog to catch up to his speed. Lastly, he did not offer to pay for my ticket. And the oddest part of it was after we got into the theater and sat down, he went to the bathroom FIVE times before the movie even started. He mumbled something like, "Sorry, anxiety attack..." and rushed off. I thought
that's it, I'm never going on an outing with this guy ever again.Guy #2: The Sports GuyI initially met him last year at sports club at school, but we never talked.
This year, we made it onto a varsity team together so after all the practices and social gatherings, we got to know each other a bit better. even though he he was the quiet guy on the team. His English is kind of bad because he's an international student, but I can speak with him in another language fluently. Once, after practice, it was late at night and he saw me unlocking my bike and came over to say hi. After a short conversation, he said me: "Remember to be safe and take care, I'll see you tomorrow," (definitely not in English. lol.) which I thought was really sweet, so yes, I thought he was kind of cute.
After a couple of months, he randomly asked me if I liked him and I replied, "I like you and everyone else on the team just the same." I guess he misinterpreted the English, because he followed up, "Like means good, right? So do you want to go out with me?" I said no because honestly, I did not know him and because he's pretty immature even though he's a year older than I am.
Eventually, we went to a competition as a team together and one of my friends borrowed and lost my earphones, then opted to take a nap instead of help me look for them. However, the guy who asked me out somehow found them and surprised me, so I was really thankful for that. I told him not to tell my friend yet because it was a lesson to him for being so relaxed about losing another person's belongings and he agreed. A few weeks later, the guy told me my friend was feeling really bad and wanted to buy new earphones for me - that he still didn't know I'd already found my set.
I was really surprised that he kept his word, unlike other guys, and did not tell my friend even though they were good buddies. My opinion of him changed a bit because it showed me that he was trustworthy and was willing to take my side. The more I've gotten to know him, the funnier he is, especially the way he tries to learn proper English. Once in a while, he'll text me and tell me that he misses me or to take care because the weather is bad.
Guy #3: The Nice FriendWe met in the first year of high school and have been close friends at one point, but we eventually drifted apart but still remained friends on good terms. We kept in touch after high school graduation and could talk about our own problems with each other comfortably. I knew he liked me that first year, but I had a boyfriend, so we never touched on the topic. I heard he also went out with a girl and it did not end well. He hasn't dated anyone since then. It has been five years since I've known him, and recently we met up with a bunch of friends to celebrate a mutual friend's birthday. He'd always commented on my blog and left supportive messages whenever I felt down or whenever I'm sick, which I thought was very sweet.
He also always compliments me about everything I do, and to be honest, not every guy I meet actually takes the time to get to know me, which is something that I value in him. A friend hinted about his liking me, and this "nice guy" also told me how he plans to confess to the girl he likes this Christmas. He said he took up piano because of her and is practicing a song to perform for her in hopes of letting her know how he feels.
He also mentioned that it doesn't matter whether he fails or not; as long as she keeps on smiling, then he'll be happy as well and that if it will not make her happy, then he will not confess at all. I was quite taken aback that he feels this way about me and is willing to do all these things, and to be honest, I have never thought about him romantically in that way.
After these three long-winded stories, who do you think I should give a chance to and if I should choose at all? Help me out.
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Comments (97)
Why not date all 3 for a while and see who you're more interested in investing your time/effort for? It's "free for all" right now. And really this isnt something that you should be asking the general public about. We can't tell you how you should feel towards one or the other. Good luck!
it doesn't sound like you're actually interested in any of these guys.
i've definately fallen for the "liking someone just because they liked me" trap, and it's not worth it. wait until a guy comes along that takes your breath away, someone you think might be the most interesting and amazing person you've ever met. then choose that one.
waiting and pathetic aren't the same thing. it's more than ok to be single right now if there's no one really worth dating in your life.
:)
i agree with the first comment. you can date all 3 until you feel something stronger towards one of them and then just focus on him and the relationship. and i agree we can't make the choice for you either because it is your feelings towards the guys.
Well! You've divided it quite clearly already, I think! hehe
Guy One is definitely out, and I really like how Guy Three
Personally I love international sports players, but, it's a really really really really really big plus if they can speak English fluently. As CUTE as it is when they try.. it's not the best when their English fails on them. But then again, you said you could communicate in another language with him, so that's great!
But finally I'd say MISTER THREE! :D
Pick which one you like the best. Date him, fuck him, marry him, whatever.
Make your own decisions since it's ultimately YOU that's going to be stuck with this person, not us.
Date them all if you're interested. Dating is only to get to know the person better, right?
Just make sure you're straightforward about that you're dating other people also if the topic ever comes up.
Oh, after reading the other people's comments, their views are much more thought out than mine were. AHHA, but if you HAD to choose, that's what I'd have to say :)
Best of luck!
I like guy 2 or 3. They both sound sweet and loyal and worth investing some time in getting to know them better. So of those two I would pick the one you are more attracted to. Guy 1 sounds like too much work. Good luck with whoever you choose.
guy #4
me. i'm potty-trained.
kidding, kidding-- i'm partial towards contestant #2, personally. i'd go into detail but my girlfriend just walked in and i have to pay attention to her now.
cheers,
W.
Yeah, it sounds like you're not incredibly interested in any of these people. Date somebody you actually want to date, not somebody that's just there to date. Out of the three stories, it does sound like you like guy #2 the most though. Good luck!
yeah doesn't seem like you like any of them... just their actions... not exactly the best way to start something?
Guy 1 doesn't seem like he's doing that much chasing. You don't seem that into him, either, so I would just let that one go.
Guy 2 seems like you need to get to know him a little better. I wouldn't necessarily jump into an exclusive relationship just yet. But there's something about being able to converse in a foreign language, isn't there? It's just really sexy.
Guy 3 seems like the best option if you're looking for a long-term relationship. Reliable, sweet, caring - the man that every girl dreams of. But if the chemistry isn't there, then you shouldn't lead him on by pretending you're as into him as he is to you. And he seems like the kind of guy who could really easily get his heart broken.
Bottom line is that I don't know your feelings towards these guys (though you def. don't seem into number 1 at all).
There's nothing wrong with being single for a while, until your HEART is leading you in a particular direction.
(But if it was me, I'd go for guy #3.)
We can tell you who we think you should date, but barring some horrible actions (like abuse), everyone has their own tastes, and our tastes may not match yours.
So like everyone else has said, you've got to follow your own instincts. Deciding to date someone is based on YOUR gut: you just know that you like them or are interested in them. And you may not know if you like or dislike them truly until you date them or just get together as friends with each of them. It doesn't sound like right now that you know any of them.
definitely not #1 since you tried it out already and it failed miserably. if i were you, i would try #3 first, and if nothing really sparks, try #2. all the while though, don't lead them on at the same time or they will feel betrayed when they find out about "the other[s]"
the richest one.
not #1 because you said you tend to be a very sarcastic person and he doesn't get sarcasm, so he may also be mis interpreting you and getting mad at you
Guy 1 is a big no no no.
Guy 2 is damned attractive.
Guy 3 is too cliche.
So in my opinion, you should go for #2.
always the ONE in the middle
You pretty much said no way to #1, so really, I don't even know why he's listed as an option.
As for #2 or 3, I'll echo what others have said - don't date them because they're there, date them because you actually WANT to. If you aren't interested in any of them, chasing you or not, enjoy your single time until you actually do.
It depends what kind of relationship you want, lol.
Given that you're asking, none. You don't actually want to date these people. If you did, your question would be "How do I make this guy fall for me?"
this of it this way...if you're having a hard time choosing, then you must not like any of them enough to really want to date them.
No.2! No.2!
He seems really sweet. And seriously, trust is really important and it's something that's VERY hard to come across.
Plus, I'm sure teaching him English will be fun!
-SgMl
lol. i saw this and was like..OH CRAP.
i know who they are (even, i suspect, #3)
honestly, guy 2 sounds like fun... i know you're just proposing this question not as someone you're going to be dating seriously so i wouldn't think guy 2 is bad, especially since he treats you well and there's a sort of "sor" naiveness to his actions =)
congrats on your feature haha XD
Sounds like you don't like any of them enough. I don't think you should force yourself to do something you don't want to do, even if there are options available. But, anyway. I think you basically crossed out number one on your own. Number two sounds sweet, kind of sickly sweet, though. Number three is also sweet, but at least he's shown that he only cares about your well-being, though he'd like to be part of the reason why you're happy. I guess I'm going with number 3. Good luck choosing (if you decide to take the plunge)!