This is a guest blog submitted by Cathardian.
"Hey... I just read your email last night... uh, maybe we should have a little talk..."It's Tuesday afternoon and I'm sitting at my desk finishing a report when this text arrives to my phone. The words "have a little talk" sends a shock through my body much like when you find that the only water in the shower is ice cold even though the faucet is on for full heat. This whole situation all started on Thursday night while I was sitting in bed thinking of snowboarding. I sat there contemplating how to get over the fear of hitting a jump. No matter how much I thought about it, the only way of improving was to throw all the fears lingering in my mind and just do it; just visualize myself doing it, and follow through. So I sat there chanting the mantra to myself -
"Just do it. Visualize it; be it."
This is where my genius mind comes into play (dripping sarcasm). "Why don't I use this to overcome fears in all parts of my life?" Because let's be honest: when it comes to fears in our life, this really is the way to overcome the fear. You can think about it, but until you do it, nothing counts. It's too bad that this wasn't so simplistic as hopping over a jump.
Meet Girl X. I've hidden her name for anonymity because it's just cold to be talking about someone on the 'net without their knowing and posting their name for all to see. Girl X is a sweet girl who has a bit of bite in her. She's an inch away from midget-dom but has dimples that would make you smile. She has her faults, but let's gloss over those
I first met Girl X while in driving school - she was a friend of a friend.
She wasn't very talkative unless I teased her about her shortness and her shy demeanor. Somehow we maintained contact through high school and were fortunate enough to go to colleges close to each other. Over time, we felt a spark and went out. This is how she confessed to me.
Girl X: Hey... we should go out...
Me: Yeah, let's go do something.
Girl X: No, I mean... let's date.
Me: Ok
I kid you not. Although I'm paraphrasing, this is really how it went down. On AOL Instant Messenger. This also lasted only a week and a half. We never kissed or held hands.
After that week and a half of "dating", she asked me to come over to her place to hang out - it took me an hour to get to her place because I'm not very good at directions. I left in under 5 minutes. This is how she broke up with me.
Girl X: Hey... I'm going back to my ex.
Me: wtf? You had an ex? (sorry, take that back - I only thought that and never said it.)
Me: Ok
It's okay, you can laugh.
It took me an hour to get back, not because I was bad at directions but because I just wanted to walk away as fast as I could away from her place (which happened to be in a direction that did not look remotely familiar). I'd like to think I handled it well. I emo'd out for a week and shut myself in. Celine Dion never sounded so good. I'm kidding... (although I'm sure if my heart could sing, it would be singing a Celine Dion song). We didn't talk after that.
Fast forward a couple of years. I became good friends with her roommate, who happened to be a friend's girlfriend (it was a close group of friends from my hometown). She invited me over and mentioned that Girl X was her roommate. I figured...hey, what the heck, it couldn't be so bad. And I was right. It wasn't so bad. We had fun and silently conveyed to each other to let the past be the past.
Fast forward a couple more years: we're hanging out more and more regularly. On the Thursday night I was thinking about snowboarding and contemplating the just-do-it mantra that I've been repeating to myself, I wrote to her a straightforward email telling her my feelings mixed in with a little bit of my dry humor. I didn't put her on the spot, which I'm glad of now that I think back on it.
Despite what my mind may have been telling me, I did it. Maybe I'm rationalizing it but I'd like to think I did it to enable myself. By being proactive, I took a step in either finding a little bit of happiness or starting out fresh. That's a win-win to me.
Now to listen to some Celine Dion.
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Comments (22)
So she read your email, and then what?
So what happened? She rejected you? I sort of didn't get it. You told her you still liked her? And she said ...
Um, I guess I would also have done it. i think that you gotta try and ask and if it happens, cool. If it doesn't , you won't be thinking ''what if?'' I hope she didn't reject you, but I suppose she did cause otherwise there would be no celine Dion reference XD
How I handle rejection? Badly. I do shut myself from the world and listen to sad songs, watch sad movies and cry my eyes out. Or when I want to have a break I just watch comedies and laugh a lot. But mostly I cry it out and then I am ok.
So she rejected you?
Well at least you got a straightforward rejection. The guy I was into decided to preemptively reject me. I didnt even get a chance to ask him to a casual lunch before I saw him flirting with other girls. Im never chasing another man ever again.
But, hey, if you can handle it with grace and move on...than good for you. Im still working on the moving on part of the story.
sounds like she's gonna put you down nicely. [shrug]
@BranmacFeabhail@xanga - She did put me down nicely.
@tequila_sky@xanga - Yes, I'm glad I've done it since I can put my energy towards someone else rather than wasting it on someone who never felt that way with me in the first place.
@jewjewbeedragon@xanga - We talked and she said no :) there's more but I figure I'll write more on it later.
This is me smiling with my teeth. Good luck.
well i was looking for a question to answer to realize that...there was no question haha~ interesting story though =)
if its a win-win why not? good move?
I absolutely 100% applaud you no matter what her answer was/is. It is always best to be honest and get your feelings out there. I'm a big proponent of honesty. At least if she doesn't feel the same way, then you can move on with your life and you have the answer you've been waiting for. One way or the other, this was a good thing.
its good she told you to move on because now you can spend your time on someone else
-sits, on the edge of his seat, to know what's next-
hey its cool taking an unexpected path is better than adead end.
Hey, man, I can relate to your situation. But, the relief of knowing the answer alone is already worth all the fuss you have to do to get over that fear, regardless of the outcome.
You guys never kissed? And you are suprised she wasn't into you? Take that mantra of yours to heart, next time just do it!! And I don't mean talk about your feelings. Talking is over-rated.
I was rejected via AIM once... suuuuuuuuucks. On the upside, at least it wasn't in person that time. i have no guts really, and i take pride in that, lol.
well, better to confess early than later on, when your anticipation and feelings might grow even bigger
Feels really good to get that off your chest doesn't it?
so uh is there an ending to this or are you going to leave us hanging here to come up with our own ending?
Or is the title of this entry telling us the ending already? o.0
Lol. Way to go. I had one of these moments thanks to a Myspace bulletin once, and told the guy I liked that I liked him. He didn't like me, obviously.. it sucked but I don't think I was too amazingly heartbroken. But it's kind of cathartic anyway.
yo ur friggin awesome...ur post was hella entertaining. Yeah yeah, good job on being the little engine that could, but most importantly, great friggin post :)
You handling of her breakin up with u coulda used some work tho...she handled it very poorly and OK just wouldnt have worked if i were in your shoes.
celine reminds me of my preteen years. ha
and then what??? :] well, i hope it was all for the best.
Ah I am proud. Wondering what happened next but proud all the same! : )