Monday, 15 December 2008
-
Observing From Afar...How Hard Do You Try On A Date?
This is a guest blog submitted by liquid_s.
I was having hot pot with my boyfriend just last night when we both noticed this girl walking in with her date. We were, like, whoa!, but not 'cause she was good-looking (in fact, I don't think she is) but because she was so overly dressed.She was wearing those supposedly trendy tights most girls wear these days - the ones that show your crotch but everyone wears long shirts/sweaters to cover up their camel toe? I think they only wear these "leggings" because they show how slim their thighs are (because they're so skin tight).
If you're trying to get some, you'd wear them 'cause the guys can basically see what they're about to get tonight. She paired them with high-heeled, knee-high boots (duh!) and on top, she wore a long (duh again!) purple dressy shirt. it was dressy 'cause 1) it had metal clips on it and 2) it was cut in a way that it showed her shoulders.
The reason why she was so overly dressed was because hot pot isn't a gourmet meal. You sit in front of a stove for 2-3 hours; the smell of boiling meat and veggies soaks your clothes while a fan whirs above your head. The restaurant windows are foggy, and trust me, your clothes smell when you're done. Her sleeves were super big and they kept wiping the table, which, at a hot pot restaurant, never stays clean. She also topped the outfit off with a thin leather jacket when it was freezing outside. If she was sensible, she wouldn't have worn that outfit.
But she wasn't trying to be sensible, she was trying to get that guy. She had long straight hair and wore so much makeup that it was so obvious what she was trying to do, but funnily enough, she didn't really seem to like the guy. First, she didn't let him sit next to her, but he kinda forced her to, so she moved her purse and gave him the seat next to her. He, of course, took the opportunity to put his hand on her chair and later put his hand on her back as well. She obviously didn't like him because she saw two people she knew that night but didn't bother to introduce him either time.
The whole time that she was eating, she kept using a spoon. She neatly picked up her food with chopsticks, tucked it into the spoon, then put the spoon in her mouth, but she didn't notice how dirty she was making her sleeves by wiping the soy sauce, soup base-covered table back and forth. At the end of the night, the guy paid for dinner and then kissed her on the lips. She was willing to kiss him, but she didn't thank him for paying or anything.
I thought to myself, she sure put on a great show all right. the guy was dressed like a bum (t-shirt and jeans) and didn't even do his hair . . . maybe she just wanted him to want her.
The reason why I bring up this situation is also because in a few days, it will be the fourth anniversary of the day my boyfriend and I met. The day we met up, I dressed in dark blue capri pants and a white zipped top. I might have put on some makeup (just mascara and a bit of eyeshadow), but that was it. I didn't care to impress him. My boyfriend dressed nicely - not as terribly as the bum guy we saw last night. He wore a buttoned short-sleeved top under a white jacket and blue jeans. The jacket is so stylish even one of my friends was, like, "that's a nice jacket!" so we were pretty much on par with each other. We dressed decently but not outrageously. Maybe that's why we're meant to be!
But I've really never "dressed to impress" when it comes to meeting guys. I don't think that wearing a lot of makeup and expensive outfits will make a guy like me, and there's no point to use those to get them. If they like me, they like me. If they don't, they don't. I just remember that if anyone of those guys is to become my husband, he will have to know me without my makeup, wearing plain clothes, so we might as well start right away.
I don't dress up like a bum for meetings, of course. I dress up when the time is right and when the date is important; I just don't go all out when I'm on a date with a guy I don't even want to introduce to others.
How do you dress on dates - do you go all out or keep it casual? Do you prefer your date to be dressed up?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (97)
If I know my boyfriend is taking me to a nice place, then I dress up and put some makeup since I never really do on a daily basis. But usually, my dates consist of hanging out at home or going to movie or at the beach and I dress casually, hair up and no makeup. My boyfriend as well dresses normal with shirt and shorts or jeans. But if I know it's our anniversary or a special day, I expect him to dress up and am disappointed if I see that I put more effort into how I look than he did! But it's always easier for guys anyways, they don't have to worry about what they wear, or how they look.
For first dates, I try to look cute and a little dressy, but not over-the-top or revealing. I'm generally a jeans & hoodie kind of girl, so a date outfit would consist of jeans & really cute top and sandals in the summer, jeans & a cute top under a light jacket or blazer with heels in the spring & fall, and jeans and a sweater with boots in the winter.
I guess my other theory is that I want to be comfortable, so I'm not tugging at a dress or something else all night, so I just kind of amp up what I'd normally wear.
Besides, I think girls don't really dress to impress guys so much as we dress to impress other girls.
If I'm going to a place that requires fancy dress, I comply with the dress code. Otherwise, I dress for the weather and for comfort.
I feel I dress to impress, however I'm not all fancy. When I go out period, I like to look my best.
If you're meeting someone for the first time, you don't really know if you're going to like them or not. When I used to go on "blind" dates, I would dress as I would going out. That way, if the date didn't go well, I could call a friend and have her meet me somewhere else and have a good time.
I agree, however, that you need to dress as you always will. That's just another way of "pretending" to be something you're not when meeting someone.
I wouldn't mind a guy that dresses nice(r) my bf wears superhero shirts
Maybe she didn't know where they were going and when he picked her up and told her it was already too late. Hence why she was a little peeved and didn't want to sit with him at first. This is all just a guess.
I think casual is ok, but it really depends on what you're doing. I wouldn't wear a t-shirt on a first date, but usually when my girlfriend and I go out I don't anyway. Some guys are more classy then others.
Those tights you're talking about are nice looking on women. I really like that style. I personally think it's a casual style. But I'm also a guy who is a big fan of girls in knee highs and short skirts but I wouldn't expect her to wear something like that on a date.
@jewjewbeedragon@xanga - Hey sexy you beat me to it again. lol
Maybe she'd never been to the place before? If I'm going to a new place I definitely make sure that I'm overdressed rather than underdressed. Clearly, he'd been there before. And besides... I dress for me, not for any guy. If I'm going out with anyone I make it a point for myself to look nice. I don't go crazy w/ makeup or anything, but still. I like looking like I spent half a second getting ready for the day :)
It's called "glamour" and it's a forgotten thing of the past, apparently.
Well, leggings aren't glamorous, but you know what i mean.
But yeah, so congratulations, you're comfortable looking like shit in front of your guy and are secure in yourself and etc etc - but there's also something to be said for always looking kept-up, regardless of the situation. I find it admirable, and it doesn't mean she's insecure.
I'd feel like I was wearing a costume if I wore the outfit you described! I make it a point to dress fashionably, but understated. Trends come and go, but most of my clothes are classics that I can mix and match. Basics like dark jeans and cardigans with simple jewelry.
The first time my boyfriend and I met up, I wore jean capris and a purple tank with flip flops. It was how I normally dress - I wanted to give a first impression of who I am, not some other girl I'm trying to be.
As far as the makeup goes, it's a mask. Literally and not so literally. It just makes a girl look fake when they overdo it. I dress up my features with mascara and blush - nothing more. On special occasions I might swipe some lipstick on and a few extra coats of mascara. But I don't want to look like a completely different creature when I wake up without make up on, and I don't understand girls who do this. And in my experience, men prefer the natural look over the cake face.
I used to try quite hard; then I realized that that's counterproductive - it encourages people who aren't good fits to pursue you further.
For first dates, I would say semi-casual - so how I usually dress (jeans or denim skirt, and fitted but not revealing shirt) but with a bit more effort into taming my hair and putting on some makeup.
If I know we'll be walking around a lot, I wear flats as well. It's definitely not attractive to be hobbling through most of the night!
Sorry..I always dress to impress. I can't help it..and it's mainly for myself. I do wear jeans , etc, etc.. on FIRST DATES..or a simple summer dress..but otherwise, you'll always catch me in high heels..
i think those leggings dress.boots thing is actually quite cute if a girl can pull it off.
I definitely dress to impress. My SO does NOT. And when we manage to go out (3 kids) I go nuts! I love dressing up!
I'm a jeans and sweats kinda girl, so i get your point.
On the other hand, the girl may not have been trying to dress up simply to impress the guy. While i do think wearing lots of make-up and high heeled boots was probably a little unnecessary, like someone else said, she may not have known what kind of restaurant she was going to. Also, some girls just wear those kinds of outfits on a regular basis. In fact, I personally know somebody who wears a miniskirt and boots every day...and if it's too hot for boots, then it'll be a miniskirt and heels. It's not something I'd do, but I definitely don't think my friend is a solitary example.
dress up but not too much, b/c I am really just a plain jane, but I like to look nice for my man.
i don't really wear make up or anything like that. i met my bf through his brother and his gf. i never thought of "dressing up" to impress my bf, i'll dress nice and cute but i don't over do it.
I used to "over-dress to impress" during my early 20's when I wasn't as self-assured or confident as I am now. I was a pretty silly, empty-headed girl.
I suppose most women go through that phase. You just have to 'grow out of it'.
i like to look good. my mother always taught me to look good because it boosts my self esteem, AND you never know who might be watching or where you might have to go. So i guess it's a little of both. If I'm going on a date I, ofcourse, love to look extra good. It's a DATE! Obviously dress appropriately though!
I always take extra care to make sure I look presentable, that my clothes are ironed, and yes.. I like expensive clothing hence.. I don't have much... but what I do have, I keep in top condition. I always make sure that my hair is styled and that I smell good.
I just don't go overboard.
But always look good, it works wonders for yourself and others.
I'd rather keep it casual, though I do like to "dress up."
I love how you made so many assumptions about this girl.
Maybe she thought he was going to take her out somewhere nice and he didn't. You don't know her story.
Plus, I don't see anything wrong with her outfit. I wouldn't wear something like that because I don't have the figure...but since when is it a crime to dress nicely?
Since *caugh caugh* some girls might get jealous?
I actually really enjoy dressing up nicely for a girl. I like looking my best because when I feel like I look nice, it kind of boosts my confidence.
Hey what a coincidence, I just ate hot pot myself! Personally I prefer my date to be as low maintenance as possible. Not bummish, but just look comfortable. A little make-up is fine, but too much is a turn off.
I agree with @listen_to_The_Pixies@xanga - . What is wrong with dressing up? most people these days have no idea to and its nice to see people who do. While i wouldn't exactly wear what she was wearing (mainly the leggings) it doesn't sound like a bad outfit. There was a time when people dressed up, dressed properly when they went out. My mom always insisted that we dress well when we're going out and i thank her for that. I take pride in the way i look and present myself, even if its just going out for dinner.
I got lectured by a female friend of mine for not dressing up for a date and then she took me shopping to get a couple of "date" outfits. after things didn't work with that one girl, I haven't had the chance to try out my "date" outfits on a date...haha.