Sunday, 14 December 2008
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How Long Should I Wait for a Date?
Like everyone else, I hate being stood up - it's a horrible feeling. When it happens to me, I feel worthless and humiliated, not to mention stupid. It hurts.
What's even worse is thinking you've been stood up when, in reality, something actually prevented your date from coming on time or at all. I'm not talking about the lame "I got stuck at work" excuse, but an actual reason. I once got a call from a date saying that he was late because he got stuck in traffic but that he was waiting for me - where was I? I was already at home, angry because I thought was stood up.
Yeah, sure, my date could have called me to let me know that he was in traffic, but I couldn't stand to wait around any longer.
It just makes me wonder: how long do you wait for a date? Or how long does it take to realize that you've been stood up? Have you ever been the one to show up late and miss your date?
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Comments (40)
I hate being stood up, it's the worst feeling in the world. I end up being so upset it ruins the next couple days for me.
I usually wait for an hour to two hours, depending on what kind of date it was supposed to be.
I would have to say I would never wait more then 30 minutes. If they don't be polite and call to tell you they are late then move on sister. You may be waiting for that person a lot in your relationship and not know what is going on.
That is my thought on it.
yeah...I wouldnt wait more than 30 minutes. There should be a call even if they are running 10 minutes late. Its a courtesy.
I think if I was waiting, I would wait between 15 minutes minimum to 30 minutes maximum.
what ThePhilsBlogBar said .
15 - 30 minutes .
Eh, if I had something to do (and the place was comfortable), I'd probably just settle down for a bit and do some work, so I wouldn't be so angry and distracted by my date not showing up.
I waited for nearly 2 hours. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and was sincerely worried that something had happened to him. I gave him a call two weeks later and he acts as if nothing had happened. I felt dumb and was embarrassed for myself simply because I truly believed something bad had happened when in actuality, he's just an ass.
well being stuck in traffic, he should've called. But in New York, I've gotten trapped on the subway for upwards of an hour and a half and then I can't call. Occasionally people do have legitimate excuses
But I would say wait no more than half an hour. Even if they have a good excuse, it's not good to waste your time and you can always reschedule once they explain. Unless you're somewhere you can wait longer - like at a coffee shop and you have something to do/read while you wait. Then maybe give them an hour or so, or however long you can entertain yourself.
I hate being stood up but I know that it's something I will experience at some point in my life. If anything, I would want to be stood up by someone that I do not really care about so I it would not matter to me that much.
I would only give him an hour. That's it. And if he does not show up, I would call and leave him a message letting him know that I am leaving and that I hope everything is okay. And I would never call him again, nor would I ever pick up the phone on him either. If he did not have a legitimate reason for standing me up, than he is an asshole and not worth my time. End of story.Â
an hour or so... stood up on my 21st birthday... now that was memorable
You got 5 minutes. =D
This is one of the reasons that I always meet someone in a foyer of a place, unless I am fine with being alone inside of it. 15 mins without an call or explanation is long enough. With cell phones, there is no reason to wait any longer. After that, there ought to be some amends and an abject apology.
Now, having said that, I want to add a caveat. If the person you are meeting warned you ahead of possible delays, or of complications that could occur, then you should give them that benefit of the doubt. I'd call them after 15 mins, and let them know that I am regretfully leaving; but that I understand that there may have been a problem beyond their control. I let them know that they are welcome to call and reschedule. If they answer and they are on their way, I would wait a bit more, but leave without calling after another 15 mins.
I do the same for those without cell phones (in my age and stage there are still some holdouts). I don't care if I find out that they arrived just minutes after I left. They weren't on time. I was. I waited a reasonable amount of time, and I left to enjoy the rest of my evening.
HELL NO.
I hate getting stood up..lol oh wait, that never happened before because I make sure I date the right person..and 15 minutes TOPS is the latest.. that will kinda irratate me..
15 minutes.
no patience.
I've never been stood up or stood anyone up. However, there were a few times where I was late, but I called ahead to let them know. As long as you call ahead and let them know, it should be fine. But I guess it depends on the person.
I'd wait 30 minutes tops.. if he doesn't call. I know I'm prone to be a bit late at times but I always call or msg ahead to let the other party know.
My boyfriend was once late in meeting up with me.. It was a month after we broke up & we were meeting up to talk. He was the one who asked for the lunch & arranged everything.. except I was the first to show up in the lobby & ended up waiting.. Now, my boyfriend is never late so I decided to give him a call. Three calls later, I finally get through & discover he managed to pass out half an hour before our scheduled time. Needless to say, I was LIVID. I was being nice in agreeing to meet up with him after he broke things off & he was late -- HALF AN HOUR late!! I told him falling asleep wasn't an excuse & I held that grudge against him for quite a while.. I've no clue what made me let go.. perhaps it was him paying for dinner. Whatever the case was, it doesn't matter now 'cause we're back together.
But that was my max wait time. I won't wait more than 30 minutes unless you have a legitimate excuse like traffic or family problems.. falling asleep is NOT legit. Either way, I hope the other party has the decency to call 'cause I'd be peeved without the heads up.
Simple mathematical equation. Take their hotness and multiply by the chances of you getting some action. Divide by the number of minutes you've been waiting. Add your level of annoyance. Subtract the likelihood of you going out with somebody else. Multiply by how much you like the person. Divide by how long it took you to get ready. If this number is above 5 then you should wait at least 15 minutes for at least an excuse and then wait up to 15 minutes more. If this number is less than 5, then call after 5 minutes sounding as irate as possible. Then hang up before the call is over. If they call back wait to pick up on the second call. Then go out with them, but make them pay for everything and pick the most expensive things.
(Be sure to round up your numbers!)
just don't date
i don't wait.
Its called cell phones. Practically everyone has one, so if you're running late the polite thing to do is to call and let me know. I'd do the same.
@luvjandm@xanga - my thoughts exactly. 30 minutes without a phone call is the window, no more, no less.
@still_standing - Wow I'm sorry to hear that. You made an innocent mistake. That guy sure sounds rude!
I'd wait 30 minutes tops. If he calls to say he's going to be late then I will stretch it a little longer.
I don't usually wait on dates because boys pick me up at my house. If you haven't got a car, you haven't got a date..
saves a lot of headaches.
however, if he's more than 30 minutes late showing up at my house.. i usually become quite irritated and I let them know it.
Tardiness is not a good quality..and definitely doesn't make for a good impression.
Being stood up... I think that's why if I feel weird about a guy.. I will invite my friends to hang out with him, and tell him to bring friends. for some reason, both times they did not bring any friends...