This is a guest blog submitted by crazymai07.So this is a bit of a rant. After reading and hearing random inane comments about bisexuality, I felt the need to clear some common misconceptions up about bisexuals.
1) We are not all sex fiends out to do everyone and everything.When many guys think of "bisexual", the terms "sex" and "threesome" are not far behind. Here's the thing: just because I have sexual desires towards other women and I may act on them does not in any way, shape, or form mean I'm an easy slut who's willing to bed you on the spot.
2) Just because I'm bisexual doesn't mean I'm a "barsexual".I've seen MTV. I know what goes down at spring break. Hell, I'm in college now, so needless to say, I'm surrounded by females that do this. The problem with these types is that while they are very visible within our society, they really only make up a small percentage of bisexuals. I can't speak for every bisexual, but I know that many of us are actually embarrassed by a lot of the antics on "Tila Tequila" and can't stand Katy Perry.
3) Not all of us are "transitioning".I've heard that many people believe that bisexuals are actually gay and don't want to admit it, so they use bisexuality as a way to segue themselves into being homosexual. I'm not doubting that this is true for some, but it's definitely not the case for every bisexual.
4) You can be bisexual and not have relationships with members of the same sex.This is true, believe it or not.
Whether it's because of celibacy, choice, fear, etc., a person doesn't have to have a sexual relationship or experience with someone of the same sex in order to be bisexual. It's about attraction, not action.
5) It's not a phase for some of us; it's an identity.In high school, I knew of at least four bisexual girls who all now self-identify as straight. On the other hand for me, I've been drawn to females sexually since middle school. All the while I still liked boys. I never recognized it as being bisexual because
- I was scared
- I thought I would be labeled a slut, and
- I honestly thought I was in that weird adolescent "questioning my sexuality phase" and that I would grow out of it.
It's been 8 years since then. If it is a phase, it's a pretty long one.
6) I'm with you because I want to be with you, and you only.There's this idea out there that bisexuals are constantly preoccupied with thoughts of men when they're with women and vice versa. When I like someone, I like them and only them. The difference with me and other bisexuals is that we don't care about the gender. If I love someone and that someone loves me, cares for me and wants to be with me despite all my flaws then why should if matter if they're male, female, transman, etc? It's hard enough to find love in this world as it is.
7) We're discriminated against from both sides - straight people think we're promiscuous and flaky.Gays think we're trying to have the best parts of their lifestyle while holding onto heterosexual privilege in order to avoid discrimination. Oh yeah, and we're flaky. On top of all that, bisexual men do, in a sense, have it worse than bisexual women. They're treated like they don't even exist!
Bottom line: I want to emphasize that I'm not speaking for all bisexuals. With that said, I'm really tired of the stereotypes and views that many people seem to hold against people like me who do like both sexes. I know for a fact that while I've become outspoken about my sexuality on the internet, I've had a really hard time coming out of the closet in real life and actually joined a LGBT support group on my campus to help me through it all.
I have a tendency to hide my sexuality from males because I know that once I utter those two words, there's a good chance they'll see me in a way that I never intended for them to. I'm still trying to figure out how to be honest about this facet of myself without attracting unwanted attention, even though realistically, I know this is unavoidable.
Deep down I know that I'm smart, driven, funny, nice, cute - all of those things and more.
I just happen to be attracted to women as well as men, and I don't see why that has to take away from the amazing person that I am.
<3
Comments (355)
This is a great post!
I am dating a girl and a guy now but everytime i kiss my girlfriend or make-out with her in public [^_^;;] He always stares at us and it freaks me out.
He then says 'Well if you dont want people to stare then dont do it where everyone can see!'
*rolls eyes*
But if i do the same to him and someone else is watching then he wants to be mr. man and yell on the person.
anyway what im trying to say is that everything you said is 100% true ^_^
@Celticdaughter@xanga - Well, I guess your prayers have been answered, then! I already see God as loving, caring, and awesome (everlasting and holy is kind of a gimme, since we are talking about the Divine). See, we do agree! *LOL* I just don't see those traits in the tale of Adam and Eve, along with a lot of things in the Bible, so I have a lot of trouble believing these stories. They have the stench of the cruelty and manipulation of Man all over them... I find it very hard to believe that their source is Divine.
5 stars for you dear.
I've been drawn to females ( when I first noticed ) since I was 11.
I am 19 now, so I believe that this isn't a phase I am going through.
I believe I am 51/49%, in favor of heterosexuality.
The only thing holding me back from being 50/50 is that I haven't had a crush on a female before.
I am drawn to both sexually ( equally ) though.
I consider myself to be bisexual.
I have always been interested in having a threesome, but I refuse to whore myself around.
I hate the bad reputation that we get.
Not all of us sleep around and 'date' both and what have you.
the dictionary of not being straight - attn: bisexuals
there's one point i wont agree to. about the sexuality thing. i dont believe that what defines a bisexual from a hetero is their sexual drive into someone. most of us limit bisexual to being attracted to both of the sexes, but wouldn't have sex with a person of the same gender. and hetero as really attracted to the same sex and would have and want sex too.
is there really a difference between hetero and bisex? gays are stereotyped as hetero, for they will never be attracted to girls, but guys alone., and have the desire if not intention of having sex with them.- to which i disagree. as for the bisexuals, well... for me, it's really hipocricy to be attracted to someone, or say fall in love with her, and just kiss her? if you really are inlove with someone, not love someone, it's normal that you became sexually desiring for her, to touch her and long for her. But if all you can do/ want to do is kiss her, and say that you're inlove with her, goodness! that's a big lie! not just lying to her but lying to yourself. why can't you have sex with the woman you're inlove with? because you don't feel like doing it, therefore your attraction could just be admiration, and there are admiration that don't lead to love. but attraction does, if not suppressed for whatever reason.
i'm not hetero, not because i'm not gay. i say i'm boyish, but that doesn't mean i'm a bisexual.
see, let's apply it to the case of the guys.... that are gays
could you say that a guy could be a bisexual? no, he's a gay. and even a gay could have sex with either a man or a woman. no wonder there are a lot of gays that have kids and had sex with women, but a woman bisex is understandable not to have the sexual urge with a woman she loves? then you're not bisexual then, you're just boyish. and you still feel woman at heart who has the deep inside wishful thinking to be loved by a real man.
for me, gays, bisex and hetero should just have one definition, exception of course for the heteros' orgy activities that even some straight men, or even gays won't be up to. i mean, there are some heteros that are pervert, to have it simplified, like some of us are this, and some are that. thing is, these 3 terms are being made so different. which for me is not right. if a bisex can't and won't have sex with a female forever, then she do not as well, have sex with a man for life, for the same reason, feeling or principle. - with all due respect, this is just an opinion of mine.
I'm a straight male. Every girl I've had a relationship with has been bisexual. Every. Single. One. I don't why it's been this way, it just has. It was an adjustment with my first girlfriend, but that was also because it was something she'd just discovered and was having trouble dealing with it. Since then it's never been a problem for me, it's just a fact of who they are.
I no longer believe in the existence of straight women though. XD