Friday, 12 December 2008
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Can a Guy Be Too Good to Be True?
Mr. GiraffeMy cousin is sort of seeing this guy at her university and he seems perfect. He's mature, loves Disney/Pixar, cooks and he's really respectful to my cousin's wishes. See, she's not a big relationship girl, and this is the first time any kind of relationship-type good thing is happening to her. And so she just wants to take these things slow. She spent the night at his place (no sex, they just talked and watched movies). He seems like a really great guy.
Now, my cousin is not your typical girly-girl. She knows not to fall too hard for him this early in the game (it's been four weeks) but because everything is going really well, it's hard not to. Last night we talked about him and she told me that her friends were wondering if he was too good to be true. They wondered if he had some hideous secret that would negate all of his awesomeness.
At first, I scoffed at these thoughts because this is real life, not a comedy starring Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon. After a while, I began to wonder if there was some truth to my cousin's friends' worries, albeit a less dramatic truth.
What do you think? Can a guy (or girl) be too good to be true?
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Comments (75)
There are good guys out there. I'm sure he has some flaws, but it doesn't have to be anything huge like he's some sort of serial killer or anything.
There are little annoying things about everyone, which in the start of a relationship most will overlook, because they still have stars in their eyes. After a little while, you start to see those little annoyances, but the test of "too good to be true" comes in when you choose to either:
a) think it's cute when his nose whistles like that
-or-
b) storm out in a rage after a night of no sleep listening to his nose.
There is no such thing as "too good to be true," but you can have a relationship that is truly good.
Best of luck.
if they are too good to be true, they usually are. or you have them on a pedestal.
Clearly, you haven't met MY boyfriend, or you wouldn't be asking.
There really are some guys who are just really great guys. I know several. They may not all be great guys for the same type of girl. The key is finding someone with whom you click really well.
She should just let go, and let herself live. If things don't turn out, it will suck, but so what? She should let herself enjoy the good times she will have with this great guy.
everyone has flaws. either she likes the flaws that he has or she just doesn't know them yet.
one way or another she will find out,
Very relative. See, I would suggest that liking Disney is a huge flaw, not a selling point.
To clarify, I'd suggest that his flaws could just be things that she doesn't care about. Match him up with another girl and she might not even be able to stand them.
Sounds like the beginning of my 2-year relationship... and it ended last month.
Yeah there are some really great guys out there. It always baffles me when I hear girls talk about how there are no good guys around. I see them everywhere, but then I'm a guy, so my definition of a really great guy is probably different.
I think approaching these types of things cautiously is a good idea. My experiences have told me not to fall too fast before you know what you're falling into. The guy may seem like a dream, but come on. It's only been four weeks. I'll admit though, it's tough. The tug and pull is difficult to handle, but maybe she'll need to learn thru experience?
@roxics@xanga - Curious, what's your definition of a really great guy?
@thedailymosa@xanga - lol That could be a blog entry of its own. :)
@roxics@xanga - let me know when you write it =) haha
@Fairywife@xanga - I agree
they can never be too good to be true! life is too short to be cynical.
if you don't take risks in life, you risk more.
Well it's only been a few weeks right?? Unfortunantly guys don't show their true colors until about 3 or 4 months into it.
BUT I do believe there are SOME good guys.
Like my best friend, he's Catholic, good son, GREAT person, really good looking, wants to be a virgen toll mariage [!] amazing style, really sweet older brother, smart theology wise, is trying hard for a good future, ALOT of girls like him, but he's waiting till HE finds the girl...Sadly, he has no idea how I feel...yet.
He's close to perfect as perfect can be. and we've been friends for 5 years! [we went out, HAD to break up cause I was only 14] He's just great! He told me he wanted to be like Edward Cullen when we went out, but I was too gaurded and he was afraid.
Amazing.
So no, there's no such thing as "too good to be true"
The first year of a relationip or 6 months is just perfect than things start to really slow down...you get on each other nerves and learn flaws abut each other that you might not like. If it works out, you will learn to accept each other flaws and learn to compromise.
Strange, it felt like you were blogging about my relationship. My boyfriend seems way too good to be true; he respects me enough to not expect sex from me, and he's funny, handsome... etc. Total prince.
We've been going out for a little over a month, and last week I freaked out because I couldn't help worrying if he thought I'm better than I really am. He amazes me; and I know he'll have flaws which will make themselves known in time, but the little things which used to bug me at the start of our relationship just make me smile now, because they remind me that he's only human. (:
Minor 'flaws' (not even really flaws, just maybe a disimilarity between the two people) start to appear as you get to know the person more. No one is perfect, we all have flaws. But yes there are truly great guys out there. But even the word 'great' is relative - and differently biased when you like'em already.
Honestly? A guy CAN be, but no a guy isn't always too good to be true.
However, theres a probability that your expectations are too high. These guys are out there in hiding because they've been abused by girls... over and over and over. Some girls never realize what they have, get scared of commitment, and run away.
If its good, don't worry. Life is full of risks, if the guy makes you happy, don't worry. Stay with him, life is too short to wonder and worry about a guy that is really just a good guy.
intimidation at its best.
go for it.
It feels like it's too good to be true cuz it's only so early in the relationship. After like 5 months, she'll start to notice things that bother her about him.. but that's perfectly natural.. because in reality, no one is perfect. no one is too good to be true. you just have to find the guy that matches you...
so your cousin just has to go give it a try .. carefully slowly... whatever she has to do ... and see if he is compatible for her
Just wait for the honeymoon to end. That's when the problems start.
No person is "perfect" or "too good to be true." It's impossible since we're all flawed, shallow, and out for the path to maximum personal happiness. There are good people out there, there are great people out there, but there is no person who is flawless and truly self-sacrificing.
You never knowwwwwwwww. Wing it.
I was in that position and yep, he really was too good to be true lol. I learned it the hardway, but ey you never know t'll you try right? He could be, but still have her guard up.
Tell her to spend more time with him, get to know him more even though it's already a month, and if he makes the move that he really wants to be with her, then good for her! :)
Just go into the relationship with caution and a good head on your shoulders.
However, we shouldn't think he is bad just because he is "too good". It is kind of sad how we can take great guys and think they are hiding something. If he is, then that sucks but don't ruin it by assuming or insinuating faults about him. If he is perfect... greatness! =)