Thursday, 11 December 2008

  • She Hooked Up A Couple; Now She's Jealous of Their Relationship!

    Miss Cheetah 

    My sister's BFF is extremely jealous of my sister's relationship...but the funny thing is, she's the one that introduced them! BFF insisted that the two of them talk because she thinks of herself as a "qualified matchmaker". The two hit it off the first time they met and now when you see one, you see the other. BFF can't stand it.

    To cause rifts in my sister's relationship, BFF calls my sister everyday to whine about how my sister is "neglecting" her, and it seems she's always on the phone when my sister is with her man. My sister takes her calls, trying to be a good friend, but lately BFF has been getting a little carried away. The last time I saw my sister's BF, he told me he was getting hateful text messages from BFF telling him to go to hell. In addition to the crazy texts, he told me she goes out of her way to talk crap about him to my sister whenever she gets a chance. The girl is playing two ends against the middle with the people in this relationship, and if they didn't communicate with each other like they do, they probably would have broken up over the constant BS.

    What would you do in this situation? How do you deal with a friend that is jealous of your relationship?

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Comments (37)

  • Fairywife@xanga

    Make sure they tell the best friend they know what's going on and to stop because it isn't gonna work.


    Worst case scenario: They stop being friends.


    In my opinion, a friend shouldn't do that to a friend anyway.
  • cmdr_keen@xanga

    She's jealous, plain and simple. Perhaps she should use her so-called "match-making" skills and use them for herself.

    The BFF (who I would doubt actually IS a BFF) needs to understand that her friend is happy with her boyfriend, and is trying to balance her life between the two of them. No one person can consistently monopolize someone else's time and company.

    I would suggest that the friend stop being friends with the BFF - at least pull back slightly. The BFF needs to realize that she cant treat either of you like that, especially after setting them up.

    It is great to hear that a couple are actually communicating with each other, though, rather than taking as gospel and true what one person says about the other. It sure would have saved a whole lot of heartache in a simliar triangle I was trying to help out with...
  • MmeFrost@xanga

    you chose to be the matchmaker and you have made your choice. now suffer or get on with it. bff should get hooked up and concentrate on your new relationship, then sister and bff can b friends again.

  • sarahb_86@xanga

    Wow, stupid.


    Since it has escalated to the point of what I call harrasment, I would tell her to go away, to put it mildly.


    Seriously, though I think the girl needs counciling becasue that kind of behavior is not normal.
  • mynameisblueskye@xanga

    She should never have gotten involved, if she was going to be jealous after.
  • whatyourBFreallythinks@xanga

    I'd cut the best friend out...Why would I want someone so negative in my life?
  • Schristian@xanga

    Drop her.
  • wolvenchic@xanga

    well like you said, the new couple is attached at the hip, so maybee the friend wants some "girltime". That is understandable, now , the way she is trying to break them up over it is all wrong. I suggest that your sister sets up one night of the week for her and her bff only, if her bf cant stand to be away from her ONE night, then there are other problems.

    If the Bff still continues after that, just ignore it.
  • pasaway4eva@xanga
    @fairywife@xanga - couldn't have said it better.
  • nbdyzangel@xanga

    She obviously wants a boyfriend of her own, or well, attention. She's either a very big attention whore or just jealous that your sister is happy. Honestly, if she can't be happy for your sister, then what's the point in keeping a negative person like that around?
  • midgetmachine@xanga

    She''s probably feeling left out.  She didn't realize that by getting her friend a boyfriend she'd be cut out of the picture totally.  I think your sister needs to actually sit down (without her boyfriend) and talk to her friend.  Find out what is wrong, set some boundaries and do a little compromising.  What the friend is doing isn't right but neither is what your sister is doing, always being with her boyfriend. Its just a little unhealthy.  You should never neglect your friends when you have a bf, although i know that it is hard to balance.
  • Roadlesstaken@xanga

    She's missing the attention that she used to get from the two of you.  Maybe you three should just all get together and have a heart to heart talk to figure out things and hopefully work things out.  If she's a real friend she would stop trying to mess with you guys after that.  If she still does, then drop her like she's hot 
  • heartbrokenone15@xanga

    I agree with most of the people on here....she is jealous or missing all of the attention that she use to get.  So she's being just like a little child...negative attention is better than none.

    You can only do so much for a person like her...you can't go back to the way it was because your guys BF relationship doesn't evolve around her...and if you do that's just showing she can get you to do anything for her (manipulation).

    And on the other hand you don't want to leave her hanging high and dry....Have a sit down and if she doesn't comply with what you guys come up (try to meet her in the middle) with then maybe it's time just to split ways with her.

    Hope this helps :)
  • ElusiveSoul@xanga

    I saw this Datingish topic and my eyes bugged out; I remember dealing with almost the exact same situation two years ago! The "matchmaker" in question, J, hooked our mutual best friend M up with a guy she was close to, and even though I wasn't there to witness the moment (my nervousness around my new then-boyfriend was to blame), I remember how excited she was about making the 'perfect match',how she was Cupid, all that jazz.

    The next day, I kid you not, she was regretting it.

    "I just realized I have really strong feelings for him and seeing him with her really hurts me. What should I do? I'm so miserable!" *facepalm* From then it got ridiculous; with M being completely unaware, she confessed to the guy herself and attempted to sabotage their relationship--it was basically your "It's me or her!" situation. Watching it play out was the most dramatic deal ever, and even now that it's all over the four of us--M, J, the guy and I--are living in that aftermath. Pretty crazy...

    Here's what I say; get your jealousy under control before you attempt to set your friend up with someone you may still have feelings for. I understand that she was trying to be selfless, but I don't get how anyone would willingly torment themselves by doing that. Me? I'm selfish. That would never be an issue! :)
  • JazzedUpArcher@xanga

    Tell her to get over it and stfu.
  • JazzedUpArcher@xanga

    You should probably also call her out because she's probably interested in one of them and didn't really believe that it would work out. Maybe she thought it would backfire, and she would be the shoulder to cry on, you know? 
  • Femme003@xanga

    She needs to grow up.  Sheesh.
  • krispylicious@xanga

    I was in a similar situation. My best friend introduced me to my first boyfriend. I spent more time with my boyfriend but usually the case is, whoever asks me to hang out with them first, I'll hang out with them first. And the first was usually my first boyfriend. My best friend got jealous because I spent more time with him....


    eventually I just stopped being her friend. Besides the fact that she was jealous of me and him.. she was JEALOUS of me in general and it showed. I was just really fed up with all her negativity that I just dropped being her friend.

  • eyesochinky@xanga

    She's just very posessive with her friends.  Not so much jealous about their relationship, but I think she does feel a bit neglected.  Either that or she's expecting more gratitude from your sister & her new man?


    I once tried to hook 2 friends up.  They did hook up but I was the last one to know.  They pretty much disappeared out of my life for a while and I was bitter about it.  Eventually I got a call from the girl and she was upset because the guy screwed her over, etc.  So yea, I can see where the "bff" is coming from.  I dunno, there's always 2 sides to a story :o)
  • wewong@xanga

    it's your sister's friend and bf, let her deal with it.  you can give her advice but don't butt in.  you'll regret it if you do.
  • SnOwY_x_II@xanga

    LOL.... i had similar feeling with my sister and her bf. I got jealous
    because my sister is always with her boyfriend and they are always on
    the phone together. My sister leaves no time to hangout with me or even
    talk to me at home. But i don't go talking shit about the bf. I used to
    complain to sis, but she didn't do anythign about it. I guess its just
    different reactions from people. I wished by sister was like your
    sister who still finds time for the BFF.
  • BranmacFeabhail@xanga

    @wewong@xanga - yep.

    why are you all up in your sister's business? i hope she asked you expressly what you think she ought to do, otherwise, i'd stay out of it. your sister will either [metaphorically] grow a pair and tell her friend to give it a rest, or she won't. her business. if the so-named bff starts bugging you to get to your sis, then you can say something.

  • lovekillzslowly@xanga

    kinda sounds like she is just a little mad that shes spending more time with her new bf instead of her.  
  • di_ya@xanga

    All I can say is that love's a sticky thing.
  • writingsongsforBlair@xanga

    she doesn't sound like a great BFF.

    I'm sure this isn't the first time that the BFF got jealous

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