Sunday, 07 December 2008
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Scandalish: Embarrassing Sex Stories?
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Have embarrassing things ever happened to you during sex? How did you recover?
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Comments (64)
Me and my ex were having sex once in his room on top of the covers. I start hearing noises and when I finally look up I see that there was a man at his window. What weirded me out more was we were on the second floor!
Turns out his mom hired guys to clean the windows.
But I was so embarrassed when that happened and I just couldn't continue.
Well, us being the conniving, resourceful, horny things we were, we decided a typically vacant classroom would be the perfect place to get down and dirty. Exactly one minute after one session behind some chairs on the floor, we noticed, much to our chagrin, an unknowing student sauntering into the classroom. Oops! I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. That's when he noticed us in all our glory. Ah yes.
The first time my ex and I had sex, the condom fell off inside my
vagina... So we both have a good laugh, he removes it, and we go at it
again... Except this time, I have an overwhelming need to vomit. So in
the heat of passion, I bolt out of the room and make it to the toilet
just in time. It was humiliating!
I have two pretty good ones.
My family was in town last May for my graduation, so my house was off limits. We couldn't just show up at his parents' house for a few hours and then leave without hanging out (it would've been obvious.) So we parked the truck at the local baseball/dog/soccer fields down the way from my house and went to work laying down in the back seat. After an hour or so, we had a some condoms to throw out, the windows were fogged up, and I know I was loud that day (it had been a while). My ex looked up and out the window to find that during our escapade, the local boy scout troops and all of their parents had gathered for a game and barbeque. Needless to say, they were all looking in our direction. My ex jumped up into the front seat and sped away, hoping it looked like he was sleeping by himself...
A few weeks just after that in June, we had gone through another dry spell. After not being together for a week, I went to his parents' on Sunday morning real early to get it on. We did. A lot. Time passed, it became the evening, and we wanted to go a few more times. Normally, his mom never bugged us, since she knew. But we're going at it in the spooning position and she barges in with laundry saying, "Here's your socks!" And for no reason, I felt the need to reply, "Yeah, he had like none left!"
Hehe :D
This past week, I was giving my guy head and my tongue ring kinda got stuck. I dont know where or how, but it hurt us both.
When my ex and I were fooling around, I started my period all over his hand...gross.
Also (with my ex) I was going down on him and I gagged when he came...oops.
@LaughableMoments - ha. that reminded me of the time I got a nose bleed during one of mine and my boyfriends moments. (I get alot of really bad nosebleeds at VERY random times throughout the winter.) I just started to laugh and excused myself to the bathroom. :]
heh queefs are pretty embarrassing <:[
@newspaper_clipping@xanga - At
least your cop just told you to go home... The TWO cops that showed up
at the window of this car, told us to zip it up and then proceeded to
give the guy a sobriety test (which he failed)... I got questioned and
told to call a friend to pick me up while they took him to the station
to go to the drunk tank.
I had to call his fraternity brothers to
explain to one of them why we hadn't come back to the party and let
them know where he had gone because they had a required event to attend
the next day that he obviously wouldn't be attending.
There are only
a few of the boys in that house that know what REALLY happened... the
rest just think two ass hole cops arrested their brother because some
girl was "Dancing in the middle of Duck Street." Needless to say, the
ones who DO know the TRUTH won't let me ever live it down.
My boyfriend and I were out for a walk in the woods when he wanted a BJ. He knew my gag reflexes, and that I have to take my time before I can deep throat. Well, he apparently was too impatient and on one of the downward motions he forced my head down further... and I threw up on him. I had to walk back, get my car, make up a story that he slipped in mud so I had to run him home so he could change. To this day I'm not sure if my family believed that story...
With one of my ex's we didn't have sex but the story of how we almost had sex is really embarrassing.
Me and my ex were at his house while his parents and brother were gone. We decided to mess around and well he pressured me to agreeing to have sex, but not really. See he was fingering me to 'loosen' me up and as soon as he was about to stick it in, he said o_O Your bleeding. And well I freaked out [apparently he had popped my cherry] and I ran to his bathroom. We clean it up and I stop bleeding. Needless to say we put our clothes back on and went somewhere else.
I also have reason to believe that he broke up with me, because I wouldn't have sex with him. Oh well. I'm happier in my current relationship.
my best friend and i used to date two best friends who happened to share an apartment together, so needless to say we all pretty much new everything about eachothers relationships. well one night after a friends 21st birthday my best friend and i went back to the boys' apartment to stay the night, where i climbed on top of my guy and woke him up to some amazing sex if i do say so myself ;) anyway i was on top and things were getting really hot, we were getting ready to switch positions and he sat up to lean me back, at the same time i leaned forward to swing my hair out of my face and i hit my head on the top of his head SO HARD, it hurt..like BAD, but we kind of laughed it off and kept going. The next morning i woke up with a giant knot on my eye and i had a full on black eye for 3 weeks. I'm talking it looked like i got punched in the face. The worst part was every time the 4 of us would be together and out with our mutual friends (one of whom was my crazy still in love with me ex) my best friend and her boyfriend would ask me what happened and just laugh at me while watching me squirm- but now that my eye is healed its even funnier ;)
-xox
I was still a rookie, only had sex a few times, but in those instances I had been a pro (at least in my world). So I started talking to this girl and eventually she invited me over to her house for a sex session (She was attempting to sex me into a relationship. Her plan worked.) I was sure I was about to rock her world. Approximately 5 seconds in I know I'm in trouble. 45 seconds later, despite fighting as hard as I could, I had blown it. This is not an exaggeration. I had been the less than minute man.
Oh but it gets better. Me being shy and HIGHLY embarrassed I hadn't let her know that I was done. I went limp and she said she had to go to the bathroom. Which gave me ample time to ditch the loaded condom where I thought there had been a garbage can, but there wasn't one. To make it worse I can't find it now. She has returned to the bedroom and I pretend I was just laying there. I tell her I can't get it up and she thinks it was her so we just laid there in bed for awhile until she fell asleep. I began to search frantically for the evidence. It is gone. I don't know how but it is not in the area where I dropped it. Finally I give up. Oh and now it gets even better. Fast forward a month. She, her roommate, and a few other friends decide to have a "movie night". This girl brings out her comforter to lay down on the living room floor shaking it to lay flat. Out flys the used condom landing dead center of the living room floor. She wasn't as shy as I was at this time and she just laughed it off. I was not there for the incident and had since admitted to what had happened the first night. I laughed my ass off when she told me about it later that night.
This one is short and I have mentioned it earlier. A different ex took pictures to send me but never deleted them from her computer. She was home for christmas break and her mom found them and called me to yell at me. I yelled back seen as we are both consenting adults. (Never do this btw.) But I'm just glad she didn't find the ones where I was inside of her. That would have been awkward.
Lucky for me, my only embarrasing situation was just having a friends parents walk in on us snogging.
one night i was giving my boyfriend a hand job and his penis was just kind of going in all these different directions, so i just let it, and right before he came, it pointed towards him, and he ended up cumming in his own mouth and even got some on his chin and shirt
@Maddox - pimp, 3 hrs, damn!!!! longest for me was 2hr50min. it's a workout tho, i agree.
@CatsInHeat@xanga - best story yet......!
Me and my ex still fool around a lot, its been on and off for about four years. I just got out of a long relationship, so it was a while since we've fooled around. He was in the area of my college (well about a half hour away) so i convinced him to come up and see me. Which ended up taking him 2 hrs because of traffic, and he ended up getting towed because he was lost and pulled over so he could try and find his way. So we both at least thought getting here was hell, but atleast itll be made up for it in the end. Well he started fingering me, and after a while I started bleeding, a lot. I wasnt on my period, i'm on the pill, and I've had sex before so my 'cherrys been poped'. It was quite embarrising for me, i cleaned myself up, it stopped, and just continued on and everything was fine. About a month later I was home, and we saw each other again, there was one time inbetween and everything was fine. The same thing happened again. I have no idea why this has happened, and now he scared to do anything ever again. Its only happened with him, and only when he fingers me. =[
1.So I was at this random house party and ended up in bed with a random guy. It was still early in the party so it was really obvious to my friends that I had disappeared. My best walked in on us and ran back out to tell everyone what was going on. Then his friends came in with a guitar and sang Eye of the Tiger. They came back in to sing The Cranberries' Zombie and also to have a lightsaber fight. It was really embarrassing but I have to give the guy kudos. He kept going through the whole thing and we ended up going at it for 3 hours.
2. My ex and I were visiting my friend and her roommate and we crashed on the floor of her dorm. After everyone went to sleep, we started having sex. He ended up not pulling out as soon as he should have and got cum all over the roommate's blanket, carpet, pillows...It was everywhere though. We tried to clean it up as much as possible but there was such a mess in the morning.
3. My boyfriend and I have been together for years so we have had lots of embarrassing moments. Everything from neighbors asking us to keep it down, his dad letting himself into our house while we're in the middle of things, getting caught in the bathroom of a friend's grandmother's house....crazy times.
We were having sex in his bedroom while his parents' were home. We were under the sheets/comforter and he was on top of me. Next thing we know, we heard his mom coming towards his bedroom. She opened the door and stood there and asked him a question. I was so thankful I was buried under him. She never saw me either!
we had a damn horrifying experience, i tell you. after sex at his place we headed to the bathroom in the kitchen to wash up. we got locked out of
his bedroom, NAKED. i won't go into details, except that we got locked
out naked with nothing more than a towel drapped around us. it was damn
horrifying because his dad was gonna be home anytime! in the end, we knocked the bedroom lock off with a hammer, and we charged in to
get dressed. barely 5 minutes later, dad came back. OH MAN i
would have kill myself if he found 2 naked teenagers in the hall.
Wow, some of these stories are mortifying!
Most embarrassing for my fiancee and I? Well, when she came to visit me out in Australia for 6 weeks following a time of separation that lasted close to 5months (she was in Texas) we were obviously extremely horny and more than willing to go at it... probably too much.
While in the middle of things a couple of weeks into her visit, our energy and motion caused my bed to break, almost causing my head to cannon into the wall through the end of the bed frame.Needless to say, it ruined that moment, but we look back on it now and laugh about it. I consider it a blessing in disguise, actually, because we then had some of our best sex with the mattress on the floor for the next couple of days before my replacement bed was delivered...
Fortunately, it was only a single-student efficiency, but I always wondered what my neighbors thought about it. Especially when we had to replace the bed and removed the old bed - with the parts in a dumpster right outside the apartment building!
Not as bad as some of the others on here, but fairly embarrassing for us...
@AnonymousBlonde@xanga - HAHAHAHA
his friend's dad handled no.2 well :P
@whatyourBFreallythinks@xanga -
oh tehehe... almost the same thing happened here... with my ex...only i guess he was so into it he put his head down at the time (kind of leaning over me)... and of course he was in mid-moan.... mouth open....haha...now i have gotten hit in the face once or twice....maybe a little angry about the hair...usually i laugh..... but ill tell you what, i was almost crying when the ex shot himself in the mouth..... hahahaha...oh. dont ask me how he managed such a feat.... i just laughed. yeah...haha
@Cait - You might bleed if he has long or sharp fingernails and he scratches you. Other than that, no idea, but that sucks =(