This is a guest blog submitted by just_comments91.What do you do when your BF or GF
calls you wasted?
I was talking to one of my friends of eight years last night, and she was telling me her story of her drunken SO.
"Last night I got a call from my BF while he was completely wasted with a bunch of friends. I couldn't exactly speak to him in the way I normally was, so I found myself dumbing down my words and basically wasting my life talking to him. I was pissed. I had told him my reservations about his getting beyond-recognition-plastered, but this was just over the line. I told him him to just get some sleep and that I'd talk to him in the morning.
He proceeded to tell me how much he loved me and all this good BS that I know wouldn't exist in the reality that would be the morning after.
Now I'm furious at MYSELF for not laying down the law right then and there and demonstrating how friggin' angry I was. Does he not respect anything I said? Why did he bother to call?"
So here are my questions for you guys:
1) How do you deal with drunken phone calls from a significant other?
2) If you've ever drunk dialed someone, why did you do it?
Comments (123)
If my SO calls me drunk, I just talk to him. No point getting angry right at that moment. He won't take me seriously and probably won't remember my anger.
Sometimes I hang up and ignore the calls til later, when he isn't drunk.
usually i'm out with him. if not, and he does call, i tell him to have fun and that i love him. it's no big unless there's drama.
i don't drunk dial. i usually leave my phone at home for just that reason.
When my BF used to drunk call me, I just talked to him, and I did it to make sure that he was ok and not in any danger, and I would talk to him to until he got home.
I've drunk dialed people and I did it just to talk to them because they were on my mind at the time.
People usually speak the truth when they're drunk so he told you he loved you and you got pissed? What if he told you he was f-ing some other chick in his drunken stupor?
You're overreacting. Just say I got to go and politely hang up.
Drunk dial? Was this a term before this entry?
I don't care if I get a drunk dial from my boyfriend. I mean, personally? I think it's good to know that even if he's piss-ass drunk, he's still thinking of me instead of getting mesmerized by some bar-skank. I'd rather get a drunken phone call at two in the morning than not hear from him until he comes stumbling home later.
And, since we live together, we usually go out together, but when we didn't, I still felt the same way. I've drunk dialed him as well, and he would just tease me the next day if I was stupid or incoherent. People get drunk; if you don't like drunk dialing, you probably just don't like the fact that he's getting drunk period, and you should probably talk to him about that. (sober!)
It really doesn't bother me. I actually think it's funny and sometimes cute, especially when they get unusually affectionate or something. Plus it means they're thinking about you; would you rather him be out with their friends all night and never make contact with you? I don't really see what the issue is, if nothing that's said is offensive.
My BF drinks water and only water so I don't have to worry about getting a drunk call from him. In the past an ex did call me drunk proclaiming his love for me and all sort of stuff about being sorry and shit. Later he claimed it never happen, though I think that has to do with me not responding how he wanted me to, lol. I've never drunk dialed anyone myself though.
Everyone who left comments made good points - it's better that he is calling you than being affectionate with other girls. My boyfriend drunk texts me a lot and for the most part I ignore what he has to say, but most likely whatever they say while they are drunk is coming from the heart, even if they would have a hard time saying it sober.
He probably called you because you were on his mind. He said he loved you because he does. Drunken words are sober thoughts. But what a douche, how dare he go out and have a good time and still think about his girlfriend! How dare he call you to express how much he cares! What a douche! Dump him. NOW.
I can only answer the first question, but not the second. I haven't gotten too drunk to the point to drunk dial.
Although, my boyfriend drunk dialed me when we were friends, haha. It was interesting, he sounded really hyper. At least, I was on his mind and out of all the people....he decided to call me. :) I have no problems with it, haha.
LOL my boyfriend is ridiculous when he's out with his friends if he's out too late and he's been drinking. i just get texts & calls of "i miss you!!" "i love you so much!!" "i wish i was cuddling you right now!"etc. i think his friends make fun of him for it too LOL
it's cute though. except when i was already asleep! >: |
I would much rather him call me instead of someone else.
My bf has drunk texted me before and its just lovey lovey texts.
Before we were dating i was engaged and he texted me drunk confessing he had feelings for me so.. drunk words =sober thoughts.
I've drunk texted/ dialed and well its bad in my case.
Just be lucky it was you.
@ecafrusehtrednu@xanga - Um, yes. Are you not from the US? lol
No offense, but if I was a guy, I would not want to date your friend. I mean, she got enraged because he called her to tell her how much he loved her? Talk about over-reacting. If she has a problem with people drinking, she should have made that clear to him in the first place - way before he went out and got wasted.
That said, you deal with a drunken phone call from someone just like you would a normal phone call. If it's late or at an inopportune moment, you say, "Can't talk right now. How about you give me a call later, or I give you a call back in a little bit, okay?" and then you hang up. If they're calling you just to call you and you aren't busy, listen to what they have to say and then say something to the effect of, "Why don't you get some rest and I'll give you a call back tomorrow?"
I don't drunk-dial unless it's to a) tell my boyfriend I love him/I'm home/I'll talk to him later or b) make sure my best friend(s) got home okay.
If they're drunk, they aren't thinking stuff through as they usually would. He was probably just being spontaneous, and happened to be thinking of you. Consider it a complement.
However, if it bothers you that he got so plastered, talk to him when he's sober (and not hungover) and explain why, and what your boundaries are. There's really nothing else to do. Otherwise, I think it was kind of a overreaction on your part to be honest. It's going to happen, and granted I too would be furious, there's nothing you can do except make a choice--does this bother so much that you can't deal with it? Or can you work it through with him?
If that ever happened to me, I'd probably hang up. I don't have the patience. Especially since they wouldn't remember anything. Why waste my time at all?
My last SO's drinking habits were the reason we broke up. Then again, there was significant alcohol abuse. But still. I did lay down the law, and it was not even remotely respected.
However, my current SO calls me drunk on occasion and I am totally fine with it. There is nothing remotely the same about when this one calls me with when the last one called me. The conversations I have with my SO now are fun and exciting and make me giddy; the conversations I used to have with the last one were exhausting and full of empty promises and hollow professions of love. Not my thing.
It really depends on the context, I say, and the tone of the whole thing.
You should be happy that he drunk called you and that he didnt hook up with someone else. At least even when he's shit housed he still thinks of you!
I had that happened to me twice. I was about to go to bed, and my bf at the time calls me. I pick up the phone and he's bragging about how he got drunk the last four nights in a row and is all slurring his words on the phone. I was enraged. I told him that I wasn't happy about him getting drunk 4 nights in a row, and I don't want to talk to him when he's drunk. I told him that he wasted my time and his and I hung up on him. The next morning he was all apologizing and crap.
biggest loser I ever dated and wasted my time with. So glad I dumped him.
I had a hard time accepting drunk texts and drunk dials until I learned to be thankful for the reasons other girls listed. I'm glad he's thinking about me, I'm glad he wants to talk to me even when he's out with his friends, and I'm glad that he is calling me and not an ex or something :]
@robynrenee1@xanga - It sounded like it made more sense to say 'dial drunk'. >_> Well, I'm just a kid anyways, guess I wouldn't know dating terms. ):
i've been drunk dialed, i have drunk dialed myself.. and i've picked up the phone when i was drunk (which is quite interestingly funny to those on the other end, from what i'm told).
but anywhoo.. i've never had a bf drunk dial me because we would always be together. but i've had guy friends who would call me. i just laughed it off because they would just say ridiculous things that made no sense but definitely made me laugh. as for my drunk dialing habit.. i called a guy that i had a big crush on at the time and actually told him how much i liked him. yeahh.. that didn't work out so well. and with me answering my phone when i'm drunk i tend to be screaming or whispering and not know it. and i end up talking about random things. it happens.
but you should be happy that he calls you and tells you what's on his mind rather than some other girl. =)
its better he called you instead of some other girl. so should be glad... =X