Daring Online Dater
I have the same opinion of online dating as you probably do. It is the absolute last resort, and I myself would never do it. Imagine my surprise when two of the three people I met last week told me they were on
Match.com. Is match.com couching undercover representatives amidst normal pedestrians?
They were all my age - recent college grads. One girl explained that once you're out of school, it's much harder to meet new people. Your social circle goes from a bunch of students your age to your coworkers and neighbors. Now, it is never a good idea to date a coworker, and being that I'm not a bar-hopping kind of girl, I agree that it is hard to make new acquaintances once you're out of school.
In a fit of curiosity and unreason, I therefore found myself wanting to sign up for an online dating site. Was I ashamed? Yes. Was I thinking, "What am I thinking?" Yes. Did it matter? No.
I'm at this point where clearly, pride isn't an issue. My friend says to try something that scares you every day. This would be my scary thing of the month. And what do I have to lose? I kept repeating that I'm a social scientist, and if all else fails, I'd have a month's worth of Datingish fodder.
But which site to go with? Match.com? eHarmony? JDate? Millionairematch.com? My mom would probably subsidize JDate, so that wasn't out of the picture. I called my mom over and she started laughing hysterically. "I personally never had to do anything like this. I personally had the opposite problem. I personally was married at your age..."
Okay, match.com it was. I went through the steps as one would go through a very painful medical procedure, or as one would go through a really bad decision. I'm a social scientist, damn it.
I started getting winks, e-mails, and the like immediately. I wanted to quit immediately. Why had I signed up for three months? (It was cheaper). I ended up creating a separate Yahoo account entitled Pemberly (brownie points for anyone who gets the reference) and decided to check that inbox once a week. I still don't know how I feel about this decision. I'm a little disappointed that I'm not more open-minded. Why not give it a try? Yet it feels so unnatural.
What is your opinion of online dating? Has anyone tried it? Has it worked? Where the heck do you go to meet new people?
Comments (65)
I'm pretty socially inept, so I'm open to it. I've never specifically gone to a dating site though. Both of my parents met their respective partners online, and both seem happy, so I say why the heck not. Also, haha, I love the Pemberly reference!
I work in a Bridal store and about 50-75% (rough estimate) of the girls that come in say they met their fiance online.
I was scared at first too, but as long as you take precautions and weed out the weirdos you should be able to meet decent people.
I also found my boyfriend online.
Good Luck!
one of my girl friend is living with the guy she met on match.com. it seems to work for some people. i also know people who hasn't really met anyone on match.com
I think online dating follow the same rules of real-world dating. if you are a good catch, you'll find someone quickly. online dating is not going to make you more attractive. it just takes some of the luck out of this whole dating game by giving you more chances of meeting people who could be potential lifelong partners.
I have met a lot of people who met their boyfriend or girlfriend online so it certainly seems to work. I say if you're comfortable exploring that route and you're safe about it, go ahead and give it a shot.
oh and i met my bf through work and it was fine
if i were single i wouldn't mind trying online dating. i rather like the excitement of meeting a complete stranger
Personally I find nothing wrong with online dating sites.
When I moved to a new town, all alone, where I knew no one, it was the dating sites that helped me actually meet people, and fast: men and women alike. As you said, it`s never a good idea to date co-workers, and they`re not easy to start socializing with when you`re the "new girl" at work.
So yes, I use a dating site, and no, I do not think there is anything to be afraid of or ashamed of.
I`ve met a few very nice guys online as well - so far none of them have worked out as couple material, but I`ve never once ended up meeting a "weirdo" - that said, just be careful and take precautions as fluttertothestars said, and it should be a smooth ride for you.
:)
There's nothing wrong with online dating if you realistically see that there's a slim chance of meeting guys from your current everyday encounter.
With that said, I totally understand your doubts and "shame." haha Give it a shot. You'll never know. =)
Well I met my Girlfriend Online and I have no regrets however we didnt meet through a dating site we met on xanga.
As long as you know what you are doing and actually take good care of yourself, online dating should be fine.
I know a lot of people who have met their SO online. With everyone being so busy and working all the time it's hard to meet people without doing the whole club or bar scene. I personally don't want to try to meet people who are drunk, or whatever. Doesn't really make a good first impression.
both of my house mates have met multiple people through OkCupid.com, and that's how one of my house mates got his current girlfriend.
i think internet dating makes a lot of sense because, honestly, the chances of meeting a like-minded individual at a club or bar or lounge or party etc. are quite slim once you're graduated college!
I have sort of tried it, I meet my current gf via xanga. But really, meeting a person and knowing a person is very limited online, it's still better to know the person in depth physically (before committing big time to it, which I've kinda have done)!!
uim i dont mind meeting ppl online but... i dont think i'll go to online dating sites though...xP..
I'm the same as you - couldn't get past the social stigma, but decided to try anyway as an experiment. I was on it for maybe a month or two (OKcupid.com, which is free but I think there's something to be said for the slightly more limited pool of people you get on paying sites, as I was unimpressed with the pool of people on OKcupid) and I got bored with it. None of the guys were particularly impressive, except for the very first guy I went out with (who never called me back).
However, I don't really think online dating should have the social stigma it does anymore. We do everything on line. We put our entire lives online (you have a blog after all, and probably a facebook account). We correspond online, work online, play online, shop online... Why not date online? It's the next logical step.
I personally prefer websites that promote human interaction more though - couchsurfing.com, nycares.org, etc etc. Websites that offer you ways to meet people rather than browsing profiles and taking personality tests. Plus you can make new friends that way too.
It can be a hit or miss. I was (and well sorta still am I guess) on OkCupid. I initially joined it just to do all the quizzes on the site, but later on I actually met up w/ some people from there. What surprised me the most about that site is how many people I know in real life that are on there as well.
So yea, I think it's fine. Just be careful though; there are quite a lot of weirdos on there, but I guess that's sorta like in real life haha.
I don't believe in online dating. There are full of deceptive people who say what you want to hear and see. That's a no-go for me.
eHarmony sucks, all I'll say. I got a bunch of weirdos "Jesus this, end world hunger that", bunch of holy rollers who are way off the map. I am religious, but holy crap it was lame!
part of my new year resolution for 2008 was to be more proactive in meeting new people and with dating, but I am not a bar hopper or go clubbing often person, so I joined eharmony and match.com. For the longest time I refused to try online dating sites because I thought it was something desperate people do.
anyway, I got over that and say what the heck, why not? I soon learned eharmony wasn't really for me so I canceled that membership and lavalife seems to have more people I am attracted to in term of looks but was very limited in learning about the person behind the profile picture.
I didn't meet anyone from either sites but at least now I don't have to wonder about it anymore. I kind of learned that I am more of a "face to face" type of person after this experience. I might even try it again later on, who knows?
after my recent breakup, i did the initial questionnaire on eharmony but didn't have the guts to actually pay for it and meet people. i don't mind meeting people online (meet them thru xanga all the time!) but to actually PAY to meet people is another thing.
For me, at first humilating, but then hopeful - Overall, for everyone, HOPEFUL
I had to have my arm twisted to try online dating. At the time one coworker, a neighbor and my best friend's cousin all married someone they met online. I really wanted to meet someone outside of the office AND outside of my profession.
Well 3 years later, I met my husband, and I was just having fun and not hopeful for anything. After dating 2 years, we were just married in last October.
Also I made new friends - a few guys and gals, as the site had an option to meet other women for support and group dates.
Internet dating is mainstream now. There isn't the stigma that used to be attached to it. Speeddating is becoming more socially accepted as well.
FYI, I try to get from Internet dating emails to phone calls to meeting in person rather quickly, because a lot of people are not invested, and will just string you along. And...they know it. If you ask for a phoen # and she doesn't respond (even to say she isn't ready just yet)...you just saved yourself some time and energy, because it wasn't going to happen.
"What is your opinion of online dating? Has anyone tried it? Has it worked? Where the heck do you go to meet new people?"
I don't use internet dating as a main way of meeting people because I meet people everywhere...bars, bookstores, restaurants, speeddating, social events, internet dating. When I used internet dating as more of a primary method, I paid for Jdate for a while, but now I'll occasionally scout out Craigslist and Okcupid. BUT...you need to be much better at screening people if you are on free sites. People have success with Myspace (uh uh) and facebook (I have) as well.
-Cuisine
I tried Yahoo Personals, myself, and met two different guys who I ended up meeting/hanging out with in real life. The first didn't work out, and I dated the second for a few months. We're still friends, though.
I was really glad I tried it, even though my parents gave me crap for it. (ie, "What are you, DESPERATE??")
It's just hard meeting quality guys at my college. Most are just a bunch of idiotic drunks.
So yeah. Definitely glad I did it. And as the others said, you'll always have to deal with the 40-something-year-old creeps, but it's easy to brush them off.
Give it a go, yo!
Looking for your Mr. Darcy, huh? ;)
I think online dating has become so commonplace, that stigma isn't really an issue. I have two friends who ended up marrying guys they met on match.com.
I've tried it out, and it wasn't as humiliating as I thought it would be. But yes, you do have to wade through a whole lot of creeps (for me, it was dudes older than my dad with Asian fetishes) before finding some decent people. I went out on a lot of dates with a lot of decent guys, but didn't find anyone special. The vast majority of the people I met were nice enough, but were just kind of boring. (Maybe that means I'm weird. Who knows?)
Anyway, I think online dating is useful in that it's an easy way to get dates. But personally, it's just far too exhausting for me. I get way too disheartened when I've met yet another guy who doesn't do it for me.
I've never tried any online dating sites, and I don't know if I would. Aren't they expensive? To be honest, I don't think I would be willing to pay for them.
I feel the same way, after gradutating college, my social circle is so small now. And having a career affects being able to just go out and party. So i would definately try it, whats the worst that can happen. U pay a small fee and dont meet anyone? Is that any different than going out to a club and coming home alone?