This is a guest blog submitted by illegalxxspark.How can one be sure that it's a first date if the word "date" is not used?
I have been talking with this one guy for about two or three weeks now and we have a lot in common...he's cute, funny and is a really nice guy. The other night he asked if I wanted to go bowling with him and one of his friends. He was going to leave around 8 and wanted to know if I needed a ride.
I told him I'd go, but I had to wait for my friend to get back so I could give her something. I told him to go ahead without me and that I'd catch up with him later.
So, I got a ride to the bowling alley from my friend and immediately found him out on the lanes; he's alone. I walked over and said hi; we conversed for a couple of minutes before I asked if his friend was here (only to find out that his friend never went with him). So we went to the cashier and he offered to pay for my shoes and a couple games. I had previously told him that I didn't have cash on me and would just watch him; however, he offered to pay for me.
Of course there was flirting and after a few games he walked me to his car and opened the door for me.
We drove back still laughing, conversing, having a good time. We said goodbye; he gave me a hug and we went our separate ways. As soon as I got back, my roommates began interrogating me about my "date".
I kept denying that it was a date because the word "date" never came up in the conversation while we were bowling. However, my roommates were persistent that it was, in fact, a date.
Here's their reasoning:1. It was just the two of us.
2. He paid for my game.
3. There was flirting.
4. He drove me home afterward.
If neither of us said the word "date," is it still a date? What make a date a date, and how does someone know they're on one without having to say it? I still do not think it was a date because that word never came into the conversation.
I do like this guy, but I don't want to jump into any conclusions about a date if he doesn't think it wasn't one.
What makes a first date?
Recommend
Comments (60)
judging from those reasons you gave, it was definitely a date. Him paying for you was my biggest indication (unless he's normally nice like that).
i love reading your xanga! =)
It was a date. For sure.
totally a date
sounds like a date...must be a date.
I think a date is when....you feel vibes, theres flirting and you end it with a kiss.
Definitely a date. Absolutely.
I've always thought it best to consider it a date unless it's specified otherwise.
ask him.... see what he thinks.Â
It sounds like a date to me.
i consider that a date. i mean, he opened the door for you! and flirting? and it was just the 2 of you? go for it girl! good luck!
It's pretty clear that the other guy wanted it to be a date. Did you think it was a date? If so, then it was a date -- whether the actual word was mentioned at any point isn't really essential or relevant. What really matters now isn't the first date, but what'll happen the next couple times you guys hang out. Give it a couple days and see what the guy makes of the situation...that'll probably be the biggest determinant of whether things will go further from here. Keep us posted!
it's a date..haha, where are the "friends?!!?!" lol =] he kept it on the LOW LOW..
I wouldn't consider that a date. Two really good friends could go out and do that. Oh, yeah, the flirting? Please. Harmless.
There has to be some level of awkwardness at least three times.
1. Hitting you in the face after he turned off the lights in his room. Hey, it's dark!
2. When you queef.
3. Finding out he has a roommate when you're taking an early morning piss in the nude.
sounds like a date.
That sounds like a date to me.
My boyfriend and I "hung out" once before we started our relationship and did not consider it a date. He never paid for me, we didn't really flirt, but we conversed and hung out and everything. Your situation sounds more like a date than my situation did, and we now consider that day to be our first date :]
sounds like a date to me.
aw thats so cute xD and yes, i would agree with everyone else out there =P it was a date if it was just you 2 and he paid, what a gentlemen ^^ lol
It really depends on what the people are like normally with everyone... That said, this sounded like a date when I read it.
@Moktral@xanga - hahahaha! that list brings back memories for me.
I think the main indication is.. whether his friend was supposed to be there. if he was, then i wouldn't consider it as a date.. cos your friend never expected his other friend to not be there. he would have to pay for you since you had previously told him that you had no cash on you. Driving you home is a must... how else would you go home? And the flirting and him being a gentleman... well, I know a lot of guys who do that without further intentions.
BUT if his other friend was never supposed to be there and that he lied to you so that you would come bowl with him, then, yes, that was a date.
i don't necessarily think it's a date but it coulda been.
1. it was just the 2 of you... was that his intention? was his "friend" ever supposed to show up? if not, it's definitely a date.... if so, could be either way.
2. he paid for you because you said you had no cash.... woulda been clearer if you didn't tell him ur cash flow and he paid for u....
3. it's easy to flirt with friends....
4. he drove u home... did he ask if u had a ride? if u said no, he would be a prick to not drive u home.
overall tho, it sounds like a date. the word "date" doesn't have to be used in order for it to be a date....like someone said above, it'll depend on whether he calls u out for another one. hopefully this time, he won't be chicken and ask u out without anyone else joining u guys. good luck!
Yay for first dates. But also ask yourself if he's normally this nice to other girls...maybe he's just proper.
it really depends on how he treats other girls. :/
good luck with all your future endeavors. He sounds like a keeper.
just b/c he pays doesn't always mean it's a date...but does he normally pay for other female when it's not a date?
overall, though, it sounds like it probably was yall's first date! :) just make sure your feelings for him were not tweaking all that happened...easy to do when you like someone...
best to talk with him directly and find out for sure! hope all works out for you!!