Sunday, 30 November 2008

  • Dating Your Cousin? So Are A Lot of People.

    Mr. Giraffe

    There was a post about this here on Datingish recently, and much to my surprise, there's a whole community of people in romantic relationships with cousins of theirs. Charles Darwin, Teddy and Eleanor Roosevelt, Albert Einstein, ancient Roman/Greek/Egyptian royalty, Biblical characters - they've all done it. So what makes it so taboo in our culture?

    My parents always told me to treat my cousins (no matter how distant) like my own siblings, so I wouldn't necessarily date my cousin. However, Miss Seal gave me this site of people who would and have. Cousin Couples is for those who are trying to overturn rulings against marriages between cousins. I've seen states overturn their rulings on gay marriage recently (much to the chagrin of the pro-gay marriage community) and it seems like more controversial couplings have a long way to go before they're fully accepted in our culture. Good luck, guys.

    For further light reading, check out this pro-cousin article on Slate.

    Could you ever a date a distant (or maybe not-so-distant) relative?

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Comments (131)

  • IfonEarth@xanga

    Personally, I couldn't do it if I knew they were my relative. And if I found out, I'd probably get too freaked out to continue. That might be a fault on my part, though.
  • kelseyynervosa@xanga

    i was dating my cousin one time without knowing it. ha. luckily it was just cousin by marriage or something. something distant forsure. maybe 7th cousin? i don't know.
  • JessxMaxine@xanga
    NEVER. That's just too weird.

    "you look a lot like our grandpa."

    hmm, no.

    xo
  • Roadlesstaken@xanga

    I mean I wouldn't purposefully choose to date my cousin, but if I happen to date someone and later find out they were a distant cousin I don't think it would be a dealbreaker.  I'll probably think about it a lot though haha
  • enzenator@xanga

    I couldn't do that ever. My cousins happen to be very close to me. I do wonder though if I'm ever related to guys I happen to speak to who have the same last name as me. *wonders*
  • deep_ocean_of_sorrow@xanga

    my cousin is like my best friend, mom, sister... all at the same time, and if i was asked to marry or be romantically involved with her brother ( still, blood-related cousin)...
    i just might hurl.

    i would never marry my cousin!!!!

    besides, its really bad for the gene pools... so children might be born weak, susceptible to disease, disfigured...etc.

  • TakingxOverxMe@xanga

    Wouldn't do it.
  • moritheil@xanga

    They might as well call it "Society for the perpetuation of genetic diseases."
  • laytexduckie@xanga

    I wouldn't do it purposely. I mean, I don't have a problem with people who do, but it's not for me.
  • flightless___bird@xanga

    i don't think i could.


    a downside to to marrying your cousin (and reproducing) is that your children come out weaker than if you had children with someone not related. so, i think for that reason above all i would not marry/date a cousin. i wouldn't want to subject my children to that. but, i mean if people want to date/marry their cousins, i don't find anything wrong with that. it's that person's life, they can do whatever and date or marry whomever they choose.
  • ironic_vertigo@xanga

    @moritheil@xanga - amen. 
  • BeautifulDisaster04@xanga

    I would NEVER date a cousin or distant relative.. or any kind of relative for that matter. It's kinda gross and creepy.
  • abcxunt@xanga

    noo, thank you.
  • Annalyn04@xanga

    I'm from Alabama, and contrary to popular joke, we from Alabama do NOT date our cousins. Definitely not.

    And as for whether or not I would date a cousin, no. I wouldn't, and if I somehow was unknowingly dating a cousin and found out about it, it more than likely would be a deal breaker, unless they were way, WAY down the line. WAY down the line.
  • xSocial_Vampirex@xanga

    I wouldn't date a cousin but I do know a couple who have been married for 15+ years and they are first cousins. It seems a little odd to me but I try not to judge. Different strokes for different folks.
  • PsychedelicBreakfast@xanga

    I don't see what the point is in dating your cousin. There are so many other people out there. Why keep it in the family? Disturbing...
  • NoReasonToGoOn88@xanga

    It all depends. I don't know my cousins at all so if I bumped into them on the street, I wouldn't know who they were. In that case, it wouldn't be too bad. Most Middle Easteern cultures actually promote it. Esp since your immediate families know eachother and you're not jumping into an unknown sea. (Religiously, we don't "date" in the modern sense.) So it helped arranged couples back in the day.

    Personally, I have an aunt (who I've never met) who has always been talking about me marrying her son, yes, my first cousin( who I've also never met) since I saw litle. My parents refuse bc it'll cause family drama, and I refuse bc there's no way of really getting know know this "random" guy... since he's so far away (and has no future... haha)

    So, it depends.
  • istoleyourmuse@xanga

    There is a such thing as "kissing cousins". Its when you can have sex with a distant cousin such as your third cousin without the genetic defects as if you were to do so with your sibling or first cousin. Besides, there is a chance for couples to have children with birth defects even if they weren't related to begin with.

    I've never dated a family member and I don't plan to, but I don't shun those who date their distant cousins because there isn't a problem with it genetically or morally (in my book).

    I would be a tad bit disgusted to see a brother and sister dating though....but, to each their own because I'm not the one doing it, so it doesn't affect me. 
  • Silly_Padawan@xanga

    Sure why not?  I mean by the 4th time their removed I would think it would be ok.  Genetically you're so distant that it wouldn't matter.  Anything before 4th, it's a different story.

    But personally, I have never dated a cousin.  I knew people who did and unfortunately they got a lot of S&it for it. (Distantly removed) 

  • AnnabelJones@xanga

    If the relative was distant enough where I would have trouble tracing how we're related, then that's ok. I don't think that close relatives dating is good, but that's just my opinion. :)
  • hopelessromantic
    I'm sorry but you can't compare dating your cousin to gay marriage. The first rule of genetics is spread the genes apart. The more different your genes are from someone else, the less likely your child is to have genetic deffects or diseases. It's been scientifically proven that multi-racial children are genetically healthier for this reason. If marrying your cousin is allowed, the children will not turn out well. Look at the Jews - there are genetic diseases that only they have because they marry within such a small pool of people. Gays can't biologically have children without the help of someone else so there's very different reasons why gay marriage is illegal vs marrying your cousin. There's a reason all your examples of people marrying their cousins aren't recent. Science has shown us since then why it's wrong.
  • SeitekiChibiNeko@xanga

    I'd be fine with cousins being allowed to marry if they did genetic testing first, like the Orthodox Jews do. The reason it's taboo to marry your cousin is because when cousins intermarry too much then you end up like Europe's royalty & nobility...with a much higher rate of fun mental and physical deformities/disabilities etc
  • Asthma_is_Sexy@xanga

    Interesting read.  The one on beastiality is pretty good as well. 
  • niklj@xanga

    It was FDR, not Teddy Roosevelt, that married Eleanor.
  • micchL@xanga

    @IfonEarth@xanga - i agrrrrreee. my uncle did it, and as soon as he found out, he divorced.


    that would never happen in my book

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