The other day, I met up with an ex who was not only my longest relationship but was also the only girl I've ever truly loved. It took a while to get over her, but I eventually did. When people give the cliché advice that time heals all wounds, they are absolutely right. I never would have imagined just a year ago that I would eventually be so comfortable around her again. I still massively care about her and hope only good things to come to her, but I no longer feel the same feelings of love I used to have.
So anyway, we met up for dinner to catch up on some old times and we ended up talking for hours about what seems like everything. Eventually it got to the topic of a failed romantic adventure I had (that some of you might know about). After telling my ex about it, she kinda laughed and told me, "That's such a [Roadlesstaken] thing to do."
For whatever reason, that made me think about my love life over the course of the past 4-5 years. From the summer before my senior year of high school to the summer before senior year of college, I have pretty much been in three back-to-back long-term relationships. Since last summer, I've had a few "encounters" and dates, but nothing too serious or long-lasting. I started to think that I was just very lucky during these past 4-5 years of my life and rationalized that now all the good girls are either 1) taken or 2) too far away from me.
You would think that after being in relationships for so long I would relish being single, but that isn't the case at all. If you watch
How I Met Your Mother, I'm more of a Marshall than a Barney. "I'm good for couple, bad for single," as Marshall once said.
I feel like I've matured and learned a lot of lessons during my time being single. I'm staying patient for now, but I honestly can't wait until I'm in another relationship so I can apply some of those things I've learned, as well as take in all the perks of being in a relationship. What perks?
Below are my Top 5 Things I Miss About Being in a Relationship:
5. Having someone to go do things with all the time. I didn't realize how much I missed this aspect until it was gone. It's so great having someone you can always ask to go eat brunch, see a movie, watch a concert, see a show, or even just be lazy together. I will never take that for granted ever again.
4. Showing off my girl. Not like treating her like an object of mine, but just being able to say to someone, "Hey, see that gorgeous, intelligent, funny girl over there? For whatever reason, she's with a shmuck like me." It makes me feel like one of the luckiest guys in the world.
3. Being able to act a fool with someone. In other words, being allowed to expose myself in ways I wouldn't around others. Singing at the top of my lungs or being super cheesy with a girl, completely not caring how ridiculous we sound, is such a refreshing feeling. If I ever mention in the future about things that I take great pleasure in that are the simpler things in life, mark this down as one of them.
2. Having an excuse to be my hopeless romantic self. I don't care what people say about chivalry and being a gentlemen nowadays, but I'm doing my best to keep it alive and well. I'm the type of guy that watches romantic comedies, sees all those meet-cute situations and says "who says those things can't happen in real life?" When I had a girlfriend, it gave me the excuse to go all out at times, whether it be surprising my girl with flowers and her favorite soda during a particular stressful time, or getting a local a cappella group to pop up and sing for her in a public place (which sadly didn't work out as planned, but that's a story for another time). It can take a lot of effort, but the end result of seeing my girl genuinely surprised and ecstatic makes it all worth it.
Finally, the number one thing I miss the most:
1. Simply, the feeling of falling in love.What are some of the best parts of being in a relationship for you? Are the things on my list similar to what you would put on a list like this?
Recommend
Comments (328)
Oh look, it's a post of mine
I like the list. There's a lot that I can agree with in it.
But I don't miss the feeling of falling in love. It's beautiful and terrible all at the same time, and I'm glad I've experienced it, but these days I'm more interested in growing and sharing my life with someone. As great as the feeling of falling in love is, it's nothing compared to that.
Fabulous list
Yep...miss those things too.
All of those things!
The thing I miss is right before I drift off to sleep reaching out with my foot to touch his, just to remind myself he's there and I'm safe. I miss that like crazy. Also waking up on Saturday mornings and cuddling forever before we actually get out of bed.
Great blog. I agree 100%. I miss all of those things as well.
But then again I hate starting over, so I'll stay put for a while longer. But I still agree with you 100%
@Roadlesstaken@xanga - Way to go!
this is wonderful, (:
and, i totally understand the "patience" bit, i've said that more than once. okay, more than ten times. haha.
i miss: cuddling, feeling wanted~ knowing, falling asleep together, little dumb things we would do, sharing thoughts & feelings~ the closeness, the pressure you get in your chest (on your heart) as if you might burst-- sometimes in the tummy.. oh wait~ BUTTERFLIES. !!
haha, yeah..
i miss a lot of little things.
@Nous_Apeiron@xanga - I guess I kinda grouped falling in love with growing and sharing your life with someone. I definitely miss that as well.
hmmm the only thing i miss about relationships is that i can be a complete idiot which i am naturally in front of that person and he will laugh to me and with me.
but fortunately,i dont have to pass through all that cuddling kissing nickname craps so i think there's more +'s of being single.
I liked being able to call him whenever. I love hearing that he misses me and loves me. I miss being spoiled with gifts, and just having him there to support me no matter what. I miss the fact that when I was stressed, he help me out with my homework! & Although I know he'd still be willing to do it all now, I wouldn't take advantage of that. But yeah, everything on your list is similar to what I would put on my list.
er, i think sex would be on my list of good relationship things. also spontaneity, and intellectual intercouirse-good conversation. personally i think you should enjoy being alone becasue that confidence will attract a good chick.
It's as if you were reading my mind as you wrote this list. Great post!
One I might add is having someone who knows you so well that at times, words aren't even necessary because you both know what the other is thinking/feeling. Having that type of connection with your SO is what makes a relationship really special.
Verbal communication is important though too, so don't get me wrong on that aspect. I'd have lots to share of myself with an SO, especially #3.
Aww, this is really cute.
Awesome List !!!
@Winifred222222@xanga - If I had added an honorable mention, sex would probably be there. Idk to me that's great, but there are some other things that I found myself missing a whole lot more after being single for a while. Besides, you could still get sex when you're single technically haha.
Trust me, I'm trying my best to enjoy single life, but I'm pretty sure I'm a relationship person at heart.
yeah you can get sex outside a relationship, but i think its liek one of those corny fine wine things, that over time it gets better. and if you have the flu, its nice to get, without any effort ,lol.
glad yer enjoying being single :) My hubby is liek that, all about relationships, but i attribute it to being the astrological sign of a cancer, lol.
Wow, I definently agree with you.
i miss those things too but i've completely given up.
Your list pretty much sums up my list! I've been single for almost a year and it feels really strange. Everyone tells me to take advantage of the single life (and yes, I am doing that) but overall, I miss having someone there!
It has been four years since I have been in a relationship...I guess maybe I am afraid of commitment. And all those five things you have listed, I have yet to experience fully with passion and compassion.
That's a beautiful list. ^_^
I agree with everything said there 100%. (^_^)b
wonderfully post. i hope you find your right girl!
xo