This is a guest blog submitted by causeimrussian."You say that like it's a bad thing."
I've been told this a couple of times before - always with a negative undertone. I don't know if it's because I wasn't planning on having sex with these people...but why is that a bad thing? I mean, if I hadn't made it clear that we weren't going beyond making out, then you can probably argue that it's a bitchy thing to do. But if the person knows, then there shouldn't be a problem.
So I like to mess around a bit; when kissing someone I like to pull away, get them to lean in, then pull away again. I like the effort that they put it....it makes me eager to kiss them even more - and if anything, I think makes the guy more excited for it as well. Bonus points if the guy actually grabs me and pulls me towards himself, holding me tighter so I can't back away again.
So if we are both enjoying ourselves, then is it really a bad thing? Or does the afterward parting ruin the moment? Do guys really need that to connect into sex, or can they be satisfied [like I am] with just the awesome makeout session?
Anyone else like to do these sorts of things?
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Comments (54)
I've been told I'm a tease, too. I'm just waiting for my wedding night, and I make that clear. Sorry that you're sexually frustrated, but that isn't totally my fault! ;o)
:O I think you'd classify me as a tease if I didn't follow through with it. But I do. And just one guy :P
I'm a tease.
yes guys like a little teasing - they see it as confidence - but they get frustrated if you promise something, and then break it. it would be if your mom promised you a present, and then was like "I was lying. I just said that because I think it's funny."
I'm going to dampen the mood: there are some guys out there that think that if the woman gets the guy all riled up, then its not the man's fault if she gets raped. yes, double standard, rapist, blahblahblah but you should be careful ... I only tease in public places ;)
I've been told the same thing. Guys just need to get over it! :D
Must be the blue balls talking!
My ex used to call me a tease...so I started calling him a dirty sleazeball. Needless to say, he stopped calling me a tease soon after... I was a virgin and he wasn't going to change that. (and he didn't.)
He tried the "blue balls" thing on me, too...I not so sweetly reminded him that he had two hands and a bottle of lube at his place...
Mm .. I love a little teasing like that, both ways, in an encounter :)
I LOVE to tease my husband - but then he's all mine! He loves it to!
"Bonus points if the guy actually grabs me and pulls me towards himself, holding me tighter so I can't back away again. "
What you're asking for is sexual assault. You're putting men into a position in which you make it ambiguous as to whether you want them to kiss you or not, expecting them to do what they know to be wrong for your enjoyment...And in which doing what they know to be morally right is against the pull of their biology. You're making a difficult situation so much more difficult. You're also sending the message that women want to be taken sometimes, in spite of the messages they might send.
And I think that is wrong. What if the guy you taught to kiss you in spite of your ambiguity goes on to some other girl, who isn't playing games like you are, and really doesn't want to be kissed?
Actually, I've had one or two girls do this deliberately to me, over several days or more than a week. Getting together for a while, messing around a little bit, and walking away before any clothes came off and before it got very far. Leaving me wanting her and thinking about it for days on end .. then giving me another dose of it. I love that kind of continued tension. I like to give it to a girl also. I don't know about the blue balls thing, I've never really experienced it. Even if a long-term tease like that didn't turn into sex, I would have enjoyed the experience itself. I like a little spice in a sexual relationship like that. I say keep it up, you sound like a really fun girl to share a sexual relationship with. And if the guy doesn't like it, find another guy who does and will reciprocate and enjoy it. That's a really fun way to play with sexual tension, and I certainly wouldn't want to miss out on this part in a relationship.
It's not a bad thing, they're just crybabies. All guys like to be teased, quit frontin`. I like to be teased just as much. It's not a bad thing. They just cant keep their other head under control thats all :o)~
@LucyOwnsMySoul@xanga - I think you misunderstand. When I think of teasing a girl, it's with a glint in my eyes that makes it obvious that I'm being playful. I'm sure the author of the article is not saying that she is pushing people away, rejecting advances. She's saying that she's pulling away playfully, with that draw in her eyes that says "come get me".
Xo
I agree with LucyOwnsMySoul. That is why legitimate date rape cases aren't taken seriously in court.
As a 24 year old female, I think that games like that are dumb. If I were a guy, I would either feel really rejected or annoyed. Girls always think, if I say no, it should be no. I agree, but I don't think you should use these guys just to boost your self-esteem. I mean, how old are you? If it were the other way around, you would probably feel used.
If you have no intention in having sex, then just make it clear to them.
Too all the commentors above, being a tease is NOT cool. My boyfriend likes it cuz it's foreplay, but just being a tease to boost your own esteem is NOT COOL!!! There's nothing more ego-boosting than a loving relationship where I feel respected by someone I love just as much!
well if the guys know that you won't go further than kissing, then it's not your fault the get frustrated. but be careful of crazy men out there.
i love teasing my boyfriend. he says that he hates it a lot of the time but then later on tells me he loves it. i like to do that kissing thing too. it makes me feel like i have control. and he always says he loves when i take control!
@ayeHEARTyoo@xanga - thats cuz he's your BOYFRIEND. My boyfriend likes it too cuz its like foreplay.
Teasing makes a person feel good...Happy Thanksgiving! :)
I do that all the time ^_^;
I've been called a tease for it as well, but lucky for me the guys knew better and said it in a joking manner.
I've been told that before.
Its okay once in a while...I wouldn't enjoy it if they did it all the time. Sometimes it gets to be tiring chasing...especially after a stressful day =T
Its pretty fun on a relaxing day though...but that's just me...know when to tease?
I never try that before but, I might try it in the future if the guy is up to it. Sound exciting. And what's wrong having a little innocent fun?
LOL teasing's fun
@playswithlife@xanga - "well judge, she had a look in her eyes that just said 'come get me!'"
I have been married 53 years to a big tease, but I was not as aware of it until last year when we added on to our house. She really enjoyed talking and kidding with the carpenters electricians and heating guys. She especially was infatuated with the contractor and then the house designer.
She teased me by flirting with them and dressing very provocative. She bought new sweaters that were sexy.
I finally talked to her about it and she toned it down,.
She has also like to tease me and 'pull my chain.' She does things that shock me in public just to tease me. I do like it a lot though, but what she will do in public si amazing, but fortunately not often nor has she got caught.
About you gals teasing---guys love it, but it turns them on and they will try to have sex with you. You need to be very careful. I think some young guys could lose control if you were alone with him.