Wednesday, 26 November 2008
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Just Broke Up But I'm Crushing Again - Is It Too Soon?
This is a guest blog submitted by DHSPoet.
I recently got out of a nine-month internet relationship with a guy that I thought I really *really* connected with. I had gone through the relationship and whatnot, and sure, I felt sad for a few days, but I got over it really fast. Maybe I hadn't connected with him as well as I thought I had. We had a lot of fights - a lot - over stupid things that didn't even matter and I seemed to be rarely happy in the relationship.And just this Friday, I went with my best friend to the midnight premiere of Twilight, a movie we have been dying to see since March. One of her friends came along and sat between us. He turned out to be so nice, funny, cute and had a great smile and I couldn't help but feel attracted to him. And, hey, what better place to meet a guy than the Twilight midnight premiere, where the story of Twilight is basically every girl's dream?
We've been talking a bit and I guess I've developed a bit of a crush on him. Not to mention that he asked me to a movie already and said I was "funny and fun to talk to". And I guess I feel a little guilty.
My question is...is this too soon? Is there some length of time that's respectable and decent to wait before even thinking about having a crush on another person after getting out of a long relationship?
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Comments (37)
It was an internet relationship, so therefore you probably didn't know him as well as you thought. No, it's no big deal to move on quickly from it.
Nah, you're fine. Especially as it was "just" an internet relationship, that you weren't happy in, and found someone else now... no, there's no time limit.
If you're happy and secure with yourself, and open and willing to someone else... go for it.
There's no such thing as "a time limit" - only as much time as you yourself need (which only you can know) before you think you're ready to enter those shark-invested waters known as "dating" again.
Good luck!
Haha when I saw that picture I thought you were wondering if it's too soon to crush on Edward after breaking up. Anyways to answer your question I don't think it's too soon. It was just an internet relationship and didn't seem that close. If you feel you're ready go for that guy.
try not to feel guilty, sometimes these things happen. you should enjoy it and hopefully this guy will be better for you!
No way! There's no such thing as "too soon" if you're over him and ready to move on. It would only be too soon if you weren't emotionally "restabilized" yet, in my opinion. Take a chance with this new guy. =)
Life = short
Go for it.
If you're ready to move on, then move on. But the "decent" and "respectable" thing to do would be to think about how this would affect your ex. (I know some people say that we don't owe anything to our exes once a relationship is over. I disagree-- If you still care about the person, you should try to be careful with their feelings.) Even if the relationship might not have meant that much to you after all, if it meant a whole lot to him, he could get really hurt. If you're still keeping in touch, maybe keep this new crush under wraps until you know that he'll be okay with finding out about your new flame. Of course, if you two aren't speaking anymore, or if you've both mutually decided that it's best to just be friends, then I suppose you don't really have to worry about this.
nine months shouldn't be considered a long-term relationship. plus it was just an internet relationship anyway. u probably don't even know him as well as u think u did. just move on and get into a real-life relationship... i don't think it's too soon at all.
you should'nt feel guilty at all. Life is unexpected, I would just say really think things through though if more feelings start to develop.
Other than that good luck :]
There is no best time when you're over the previous relationship. If it happens to soon and the other person needs more time to heal, I say keep it low for a while. But hey, there's not much to keep low if your previous relationship was online.
Every person is different, do as you please. Besides if you're crushing, you kind of can't help that you feel that way so soon. Just live.
internet relationship is nothing. it's not to soon for you to being crushing. just go with the flow.
what is an internet relationship
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nine months is a short time for a relationship and of all relationships it's via internet. you're over it, go out, have fun, and enjoy the holidays with someone new.
It's fine to move on, but pish posh to people who say an internet relationship is not a real one. More and more people are meeting that way these days, and things can happen for the best that way. Just be open to what you want and go from there.
You're over the old guy already? Make YOURSELF happy.
Internet relationships aren't real relationships and therefore, can't match up to one. It's always better to date someone you can actually see and talk face-to-face. You're not falling too soon, your previous relationship didn't have much meaning as you would've hoped. It's the internet anyway.
If you feel this way about the guy, go for him :].
Well, first of all.. not to downplay it, but you were in an internet relationship. I don't count this as a full fledged relationship. Had you met? This has a lot to do with it. If you hadn't met and it was all online, I don't think this is something that usually requires a lot of rebound time. My boyfriend and I had been online dating for almost a year before we met, and meeting did make it a million times more serious. Not that I'm saying yours wasn't serious, but I just don't think that it is something that you should feel guilty about moving on from as you have.
I think it's great that you're already getting along well with this new guy. I'd say go for it, and see how things go! Sounds pretty good to me so far! :) Good luck!~
There's no fixed amount of time that you should wait until liking someone else. I think a non-internet based relationship is more rewarding than investing all of your emotions into someone you just talk to over a screen.
If you like him, why not go for it?
you had an internet relationship, time to upgrade and date a real person.
i know how bad it feels---the guilt & all but life IS short & you have to do what makes YOU happy. if this guy makes you feel happy then go for it!! you shouldn't feel bad.
if you think you're ready, go for it, if you're questioning about it, you're probably not..
Trust me, you can't change or control the way you feel about someone. After I broke up with my boyfriend of three and a half years, another guy immediately started flirting with me and I was a little taken by him (he didn't know I had just gotten out of a relationship though). Then, about three months later, I started crushing HARD on one of my co-workers. I felt guilty because I thought it was "too soon," but like I said before, you can't help the way you feel.
Anyway, all the advice I have to give you is this: if it feels right, go for it. Don't think about it too much. Clichés include: whatever is meant to be will find a way to be, and things have a way of turning out all right in the end.
Best of luck to you!
it was an internet relationship, i dont think that would be a big deal if you crush on someone so soon. live your life and have fun. that guy is right there, someone you can see and hang out with. not someone on the cyber space.
There's no right answer or official amount of time you "need" to wait. Just do whatever feels right for you :)