The other night, my special lady friend was up all night reading the first book of the
Twilight series. Why? Apparently all of her girlfriends are in love with Edward Cullen, the vampire from the story that sweeps 17-year old Bella off of her feet.
So Mrs. Macchiato's going with all her girlfriends tonight to catch the premiere of Twilight. They're all super excited... but I don't really get the whole Edward Cullen phenomenon.
Why does Bella like a vampire so much... and why are women so attracted to him? Whatever his secret is, it must be pretty amazing stuff, because there are some pretty serious problems with dating a vampire.
Here are the top three concerns I would have if Edward Cullen was dating my daughter:
1) He's a pedophile.Edward was born in 1901. I looked it up, and Twilight was published in 2005. So Edward is 104 years old.
Does it bother anyone else that a 104 year old guy is dating a 17 year old girl?! I mean, I know he looks 17 forever...but still, come on. He's over 100!
I'm trying to imagine if my hypothetical daughter came home one day and said, "Hey Dad, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend...you guys have a lot in common; he's 104." Actually, if he's 104 and she's 17, I'd have the world's easiest case of statutory rape. I know it's legal to have sex with 16 year olds in some states, but what if the guy is 104?! I think I could win a jury trial.
I've heard that girls like older guys, but this is ridiculous.
2) He's a murderer. Edward has admitted to killing people back when he was first a vampire. Of course, they were "bad people"... so it's okay.
Umm...no. I watch
Dexter, this show on Showtime about a serial killer who only kills other serial killers. It's a lot of fun, but I don't think two wrongs make a right. What if Dexter and Edward are wrong about the people they kill?
Okay, I know Edward can read minds... but still. I have a pretty filthy mind... if Edward read my mind, I'd be a goner for sure.
If my hypothetical daughter were dating a vampire, the first thing I'd ask the vampire, "Have you ever killed someone to drink their blood?" If s/he said yes (my hypothetical daughter might be dating a lesbian vampire), I would be out of there.
In any case, let's assume he did kill those evil humans and drink their blood. Why doesn't he turn himself in and go to prison? I mean, the guy is immortal... he could do a life sentence standing on his head.
3) He wants to eat her.Edward is irresistibly attracted to Bella because of the "sweet smell" of her blood. He spends much of the book trying to resist his desire to
nom nom nom on her. Call me old-fashioned, but I don't believe in eating my girlfriend.
Is nobody else bothered by this?!?
So... in conclusion, Edward Cullen will not be dating my hypothetical daughter anytime soon.
Please, help me out. I don't understand why girls love Edward Cullen so much (let alone vampires in general). I think vampires are disgusting — especially pedophilic, murderous ones that want to eat people (oh sorry, the PC term is "drink their blood").
Help me understand: why would anyone want to date a vampire like Edward Cullen?!
Comments (636)
HAHHAHA
... but he's so gosh darned endearing!
well, before Twilight there was Angel and Buffy...
My guess is that they are all suicidal.
Having actually read all the books, I also don't get the obsession with Edward - I think he has no personality and they have no chemistry. I do think the character Jacob is awesome though.
However, I read an interesting article about the movie, which said that part of the appeal of Edward is that he loves Bella completely, slightly obsessively, and without ulterior motive. I mean, besides the smelling like dinner thing. The article pointed out that it was a type of unrealistic devotion separated from the pressures of sex (he won't sleep with her, yet...) that appeals to young women. He is also all about protecting her and rescuing her - pretty standard "masculine appeal" things.
@AnonymousBlonde@xanga - I'm totally reading that! I just got into it, but yes!
@two_days_until_forever@xanga - I had quite the debate about that last night with someone I know, hence this being a big deal,lol...
@heyjuke@xanga - I loved me some Buffy and Angel =)
It's fiction, you don't have to understand it. He is hot and irresistible. Yeah, he wants to eat her, but does he? No. Well, not yet, I'm only halfway through the book. But, I imagine, since there is 4 books he doesn't eat her until at least the end of the 4th one. That's a very strong willed vampire. So, what I'm trying to say, is why do people have to make such a big deal about stuff all the time, it's just a book. Not reality. Let people obsess over whatever they want, for whatever reason they choose. It's not hurting you is it? Until your hypothetical situation presents itself, just leave it alone.
With all due respect, of course. =)
Edward has a lot of chivalrous qualities that girls tend to like a lot, and is actually quite a decent man/vampire (especially if you read the whole series). That being said, I wouldn't let my daughter date a vampire either
.
So I'm not the only one who has thought about him (or any other 'vampire') being a pedophile, even if he looks eternally youthful.
he is just the perfect boyfriend :P like how he'd do anything to save her and his words and just wowza :P and the fact that he could kill you at any moment is crazy but a turn on , so yeah i fell in love with him too lol
This is charming and hilarious. You've got a great sense of humor and wit.
I think, generally, the appeal of vampires is that they're mysterious and sexy. It's like the fictional equivalent of James Dean: you know that you shouldn't date him, but you just can't help yourself. It's like the ultimate bad boy.
well he's strong, sexy, dark, mysterious, briliant, romantic... it's a dream guy wrapped into a gorgeous immortal package.
he also HAPPENS to be adorable and superrr sweeti must say, however, i do think he is a pedifile
@MochaSprinkle@xanga - They're totally awesome books! One of my best friend owns them all too, so I can re-read them whenever I want lol
@heyjuke@xanga - Buffy and Angel = so hot.
and it's also that he will go to extreme lengths for her... he loves her that much
Women love Edward because he's hot. It doesn't matter how old he is.. I mean, he always looks the same. And he's.. hot. Besides that, the books are awesome. I started getting into them and my husband was interested, but I thought he wouldn't like it because all "OMG I LOVE EDWARD, HE'S SO PERFECT", but that changes. It's not always like that. We can relate so easily because all of us females have fallen in love with a guy and have had the same feelings just like she did.. even if she IS in love with a guy born in 1901. I know it's just a book, or just a series, but what fun is a book if you don't get involved in it like you're part of it?
I'm sure everyone (or almost everyone has mentioned), you just have to read the book. lol.
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I, personally, do not understand it.
i completely agree. my friends were wearing friggin twilight TEESHIRTS yesterday and i kind of wanted to shake them until they came to their senses. i've never read the books and i don't plan to. if vampires are indeed real, they wouldn't go to a random high school and fall in love with some teenager. he's 100 years old? i think he's more mature than that. he'd find some fabulous celebrity to prey on or something.
fuck twilight i'm sick of hearing about it, it's just the new harry potter, please get over yourselves.
ps, all that aside, apparently edward cullen is just "perfect" and that's hwy women love him. they ahve this fantasy vision of the "perfect man."
which is probably why none of them stay happy in a relationship. no one is perfect and could possibly measure up to edward cullen standards, which is why they're unahppy.I'm sorry, this actor will always be Cedric Diggory to me. I haven't read the books either. Meh, Vampires aren't my thing.
BEST BLOG EVER!
Be sure to keep your hypothetical daughter away from those vampire types...they're bad news, man, bad news.