Thursday, 20 November 2008
-
Picking A Date for Your Wedding
Mr. GiraffeEver since my sister got engaged (!), all we Giraffes can think about is the when and the where. Much to my surprise, picking a date is a really tough process. I always assumed you just decided. "April 14th in Chicago...okaywe'redoneyaybye!" Unfortunately, that is not how it works. My sister and her fiance are already having problems.
The first problem is, sadly, me. I'm going to London to study abroad in the fall and that leaves out any date between August and December. Of course, if that was what they decided, I'd fly home. But my sister wants me to be a part of the planning. Also, she wants me to be around for the wedding immediately before and after to celebrate and stuff. So this would mean a summer wedding, right? How romantic.
Except my sister's best friend/bridesmaid is spending the summer in Italy. (Damn you, Europe!) My sister wants her friend to be there. And we all do.
Honestly, I'm trying to be as cooperative as I can. And so is her friend. But my sister is stressed nonetheless. I told her that since she can't please everybody, she should just do what she wants and we'll all fit to her schedule. It is her wedding, after all. Any advice for my sisters or past experiences you can share?
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (15)
I feel for her. I'm having to plan my wedding around the pastor (hes in the National Guard and his units been reactivated) and my future brother in-law (attending a summer program).
I completely agree with your advice. If she does it over the summer, her bff will have to accomodate and if she does it in the fall you will have to so either way someone will have to change plans for a week so it's best to do what she wants to do and know that her sister and bff will back her up and do the best they can in being there for her when she needs them.
Geebers, I didn't realize picking a date for the wedding was that much of a hassle.. I thought the same thing you did! I figured it'd be a date that had sentimental value but I guess not... Although I'd still pick a date that would work for my future husband's & my schedule since I figure everyone else will just have to adjust to our decision 'cause ultimately, it's up to us & not anyone else. Let your sister know what you think & assure her that even though you'll be abroad, you'll do your best to stay in touch & do your part of the planning.. That I'm sure you will since you sound like a very caring brother. It's probably just overwhelming for her 'cause it's the start of a huge planning process. Probably better to let this go & spend her energy fussing over other things like the dress & venue & such. >.< How I don't envy wedding planning regardless of how fun it sounds~
I agree with you and the others. Have your sister do what she wants (within reason) and everyone else will respond and support her. Honestly, wedding planning isn't difficult, but it's not exactly fun either. In essence, you try to please everyone and try to get everything right. But in the end, even though you want the wedding day to be beautiful, it's just a day. It's the marriage that is the big deal. When one of my girlfriends asked me to stand up for her, she asked what color I'd like to wear. I told her she can make me wear whatever color she wanted...it was her day. When it was my turn, I tried not to sweat the small stuff. Heck, I was pretty laid back. My mom on the other hand...
If you can help her not stress about one more thing, then you did what you're supposed to do.
I guess it's stressful because she loves you and her best friend. I mean, I understand it's her day and she can do what she wants...but I think she was thinking more about wanting to share that special day with her loved ones...so that means you and her best friend being there for her on that important day of her life.
If your sister's important enough to you, you'll fly out...
Think about this...If she wants to have it in space and each of her bridesmaids needs to go through a two week astronaut program to go, you'd be the first one with your name on that sign up sheet, right? This is your sister and you'd go out of your way to get to that wedding...If you wanted your wedding in Iraq and everyone needed combat training, wouldn't you want your potential bridesmaids and maid of honor to be able to take a grenade?
Let her make the date when she wants to make it...I'm sure you guys will do what you have to do to accommodate her...If not, she's obviously not cool enough to fly home from Italy for, or make up a week of school for...
Let your sister make up her mind...It's her wedding, right? The only people who need to have their schedules coordinated would be the new husband and wife...
If your sister is indecisive, make the fiancee make the decision...
If he's indecisive, I'd get the hell out of Dodge because they will never decide on anything...Weddings are all about decisions...
Wow, I guess I had it easy...My fiancee and I had only one weekend free to have the wedding, so we went with that Saturday. I didn't realize that it could be that stressful!
@whatyourBFreallythinks@xanga - hahah "in space" good metaphor!
I'd say do it during winter break? You could be around for that and so could her friend.
i know this isn't as drastic or far away (in terms of distance) as your situation, but one of my best friends had to attend her brother's wedding in mid-october, so she flew home from UC berkeley for a weekend (a very sleepless weekend, seeing as she left cali at 11pm, and had to adjust to eastern time quickly), and then go right back to school.
really, it's your sister's decision on what to do and when to make it, so let her know that... and ingrain that thought into her head!
My sister had a similar problem, but she ended up just having the wedding because she didn't want to wait another 6 months to get married.
It's your sister's wedding, so let her do what she wants.
All I know is don't have a wedding in the winter somewhere cold or one in the summer somewhere hot. It's miserable.
Just let her decide, Just help and support and it'll get decided.
What's wrong with a spring wedding?Â
she def cant make everyone happy
my sisters wedding was two weeks ago, and they planned it for them, not everyone else.her and her husband live in mexico and have been for the past year or so, and it was extremely tough to plan, but they realized they couldnt fit everyone elses scheduels, only their own
I've been there and, trust me, you can't please everyone and you will not have a happy bride-to-be if she's constantly trying to. It's her day and she needs to do what she wants. If she's having this much trouble picking a date, how is she going to make other, more important decisions? The most important thing a bride should remember when wedding planning is to not worry about other people and do what YOU want.
She needs to pick whatever day she wants and then if people can't make it, they can't make it. things don't always work out as you want them to. Perhaps if she is willing to wait a bit longer she can plan for the next year when people won't be abroad. But i'm assuming thats not an option so, like i said, she just needs to go ahead and pick a date and let everyone else worry about making arrangements to be there.