...or someone on the "dissociative continuum" (post-traumatic stress disorder/PTSD, borderline personality disorder, dissociative amnesia, fugue, and DID/MPD):
This is a guest blog submitted by therions_swain.1. Don't take anything personally. Recognize that at least 3/4 of what you see is actually the person's reaction to events, people, and feelings of the past. Suspiciousness isn't about you, it's a natural human response to terrors that, if you didn't experience similar things yourself, are probably incomprehensible to you.
2. Expect changes at odd times. This includes changes in mood, attitudes, thinking, speaking, dress, interests and just about anything else. Look at it as the opportunity to date more than one person at once. Enjoy the variety.
3. Listen. Listen some more, and try to be accepting. As in #1 above, you may not understand (or believe) the past experiences of the person you are dating, if you did not have such events in your life. You may not want to believe it. You may want to question the person's memories -- squelch this desire. Whether the memories are exactly true or not isn't the point; the point is the effects.
4. Protect yourself. Accepting the person doesn't mean letting them manipulate you (whether conscious or not). Be prepared to end conversations, leave the room, put your foot down, state your feelings and act on them. If you feel you are being manipulated, you probably are. You aren't doing the person any favors by being their victim.
5. Recognize that being with a person who dissociates can be very rewarding. Look for the positive and don't feed the negative. Remember that you have your issues too, and resist the temptation to blame all relationship issues on the other person!
It's true that it takes a strong person to date a multiple, but you can always become stronger. Would you date a person with multiple personalities?
Recommend
Comments (66)
I dated a guy once, who had a serious case of MPD. It didn't work out, but only because...well he was abusive. Which he blamed on his MPD. Which was a lie because just cus you have MPD, doesn't make you abusive. I guess it can for some people. But i'm a family/teen psychiatrist working in a hospital for the mentally ill. I think i would know what the symptoms are.
I'm a pretty accepting person, so as long as there was chemistry or whatever and he wasn't abusive or anything I would.
seeing as how I have borderline, which is like a "minor" case of multiple personality disorder, I wouldn't bother dating someone else with identity issues.
my advice to anyone dating someone with MPD, is to either read up on the subject and "know your enemy." *for me, when someone else 'acknowledges' that I feel a certain a way, it sometimes relaxes me because then I have to ask myself why I feel that way, and sometimes I see I'm being irrational and chill out.* maybe befriend someone who is bipolar. bipolar people usually fluctuate between 2 moods, so once you master a successful relationship with them, you'll be ready to date someone with more rapid identity shifts and more 'personalities.'
also, there's a big difference between MPD and being manipulative. true, they can go hand in hand, but someone who is manipulative doesn't always have MPD, they're just 2 faced.
never stay in abusive relationships.
i dated someone with PTSD, and no, i would definitely would not do that again >_<
If we "clicked", sure! I'd like to know what I was getting into first, though, and hopefully meet most of the personalities before I made a commitment, just to make sure none of them were abusive or anything.
A year or two ago, I would have said no, I would never date anyone with any kind of mental illness. Then, a few months ago, I fell for a guy who had one (no, he didn't have multiple personalities, in case anyone asks). We are not dating yet, but that has more to do with not living in the same city than it does with his illness. While I sometimes worry about how his problems would affect our relationship if we were ever in the position to have a relationship, I also know he is probably the most understanding and accepting person I have ever met, and I'd be an idiot not to give him a chance.
So moral of the story: never say never.
But don't date someone who makes you uncomfortable just because you want to seem more "open minded".
aye..i think i'm bipolar...lol
ahaha mpd is in me!
i have an ex that is bipolar. i was not aware of it until well into our realtionship when i found her medications (by accident). we had long talks about it and how we felt about eachother. but she went off her meds and starting stealing from me. i had to end the relationship. she is the best person as long as she stays on her meds. she is not trustful when not. i dont have a problem dating anyone with a disorder as long as it can be maintained and not abusive.
No. I did it once, unknowingly, and I will never do it again. I have no problems being friends, but I would not have another relationship with someone who has any form of MPD.
My god, that disorder doesn't even exist.
@Muddled_Jinni@xanga - really now?
so i guess all the people who have been traumatized to the point of where other personalities are arising as a sort of coping mechanism are just all faking it?
good to know.
My Advice #1 for dating someone with MPD:
Don't date them.
This may be selfish, but it's for the sake of your own good. Do yourself some justice, and just save some trouble for yourself. There are plenty of good healthy fish in the sea.
I did it and i'm sorry i can never do it again. like KarmasNemesis@xanga i dated a boy who was bipolar who was emotionally abusive and blamed it on his being bipolar. it doesn't matter that you have a disease, it doesn't give you any right to walk all over people.
course i'm not saying that all people with... mental disorders... are like that. but my experience has put me off of them. and really, it was too trying dealing with the constant up and downs. i need reassurance too.
I would more than likely not date someone with MPD. I realize that it is not their fault, but I just don't think I could handle it. I have enough emotions and what not-I want someone who is pretty steady.
@immaairheadxl@xanga - haha nice.
I swear, my first serious girlfriend was bipolar. She'll be hyper one minute then totally depressed the next. I do not recommend dating a bipolar person. It really takes a lot out of you.
@Roadlesstaken@xanga - imagine living with one...my aunt - oh my god..i stayed at her house for three months? yes - around there& it was the most..craziest times EVER !!! i have NEVER seen someone switch their personalities SO DAMN MUCH
one minute: awwwwww sweety ..hehehehe, i'm talking to this awesome man(she's forty btw) and he's fabulous
next second: WHAT THE FUCK ARE U DOING (to her son)
i imitated her to my friends..
and the WHOLE table laughed =P i'm a jokester hehe
There's no such thing as multiple personality disorder. The idea of split personalities is an incorrect stereotype created by Hollywood.
Dating someone with MPD is just asking for it...
Um Don't.
@ArphaxadHunter@xanga - How do you know? Patients who have MPD say they "black out" when one personality switches up to another and not recalling what happens for a period of time until they come back.
MPD has not confirmed as a medical disease yet, but they're doing the research.
I'm not surprised at the reactions this post has gotten -- it does take a lot to deal with a person with a mental illness, and some people either don't have what it takes or just don't want to do it because it requires too much effort.
@Roadlesstaken@xanga - @immaairheadxl@xanga - @midgetmachine@xanga - @LovelyDesi89@xanga - You seem confused about bipolar disorder and multiple personalities -- they are NOT the same thing and not related, although they may occur in the same person. A person with bipolar disorder does not have multiple personalities! Bipolar is a mood disorder, meaning the person has cycles of up and down moods. Get your facts straight especially if you are going to make negative comments!
@writingsongsforBlair@xanga - thank you for your comments; they are very good!
@therions_swain@xanga - get our FACTS straight?..we aren't even talking about M P D . so ha hahahhhhahh =] lol
It's not even that negative..do you want to see negative? lol, i'm messing haha
but still, it relates to personalities. so , still.. NO MPD'S
I've dedicated my life to working for people with DID/MPD. I assure you the disorder exists, seeing as I have personally met and/or been friends with at least 3 people who have been diagnosed with it, all before graduate school. I'm not going to go into lecture mode as to why it exists, but if you're interested - there is some AMAZING literature on it.
But after reading and hearing the stories of people with DID/MPD, and hearing the stories of their wives and husbands, I would most definitely consider dating someone with DID/MPD. It doesn't make them less loving. There is the chance for abuse in any relationship; but assuming that just because someone has DID/MPD they will be abusive is wrong. If there is abuse, get out, but don't say no to someone because "well I heard that you could get abusive". Sterotyping is not good in any situation.
awww...this post was an original topic