Dr. Datingish
I was 24 when I had my first kiss. I had wanted it to happen much, much sooner, but you can't always plan these things.
It should have been exciting. I was in a big, flashy, foreign city. I was just checking into my hotel room, and my then-boyfriend followed me in, and 30 seconds later, he kissed me.
On one hand, I was glad I finally knew what it was like. But most of me was thinking, "This is it? It's wet!" He asked if I liked it. I didn't want to offend him, so I said I did. But I didn't. It was wet. It was all I could think about. That, and wondering what on earth was wrong with me that I didn't like it.
I figured it would get better. It didn't. I continued to kiss him, but only because I felt I should. I really liked him at the time. And when he touched me when we were fooling around, I never knew anything could feel so amazing. But I never could get used to the kissing, and I felt terrible about it. We have since broken up. I have met someone else who is great. Someone I would eventually like to date. But I'm scared. What if I kiss him and all I can think is, "it's wet?" What if I'm as bad a kisser with him as I was with the other guy?
Is there a way I can learn to like kissing? And if I don't like kissing, does that mean I won't like sex when the time comes for that?
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Comments (261)
I think you might have been a victim of bad kissing. I've also had bad kisses before, and yes, they were kind of wet. Later on I found out what a kiss was REALLY supposed to feel like, and it was totally different--not "wet" as I what I think you're describing.
above comment is correct and despite what most say, the first kiss is not magical, just memorable haha. It's usually awkward and weird.
ha might have just been bad. first thought even before readin' the blog and just the title.
esp if your first thought is 'wet' and gross
I think that maybe it was your first kiss you might of been a bit tense and didn't get a good impression. I suggest you just relax and who knows the next one might be better. Just don't generalize an experience with one person to all persons.
There are bad kissers out there and they usually have those awfully sloppy wet kisses. ick. But like was said above me, dont judge all kissing by one bad experience. Just relax and enjoy the person you're with! Kissing is fantastic when you find someone who is good at it and when you both have great chemistry.
"you need kissing, badly. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how." Rhett Butler, Gone with the Wind
Not to be too cheesy, but if it's not with the right person, I can feel completely wrong. When I first read that you described it as "wet" I thought, What??! I would never describe any kiss I've ever had as wet. As the others said, I think he may have just been a bad kisser. Don't be afraid to kiss another guy, because of your first time...
you'll get use to it eventually. if you're the "vain-clean" type of girl you would really feel that way. it's the emotion and the "motion" which makes it amazing.
Your eyes all closed, with the tongues the only connection as you feel each other's reaction to every inch of movement, you won't feel any "eeew". It's just a matter of catching/looking for that feeling of intimacy.
Each person has a different kind of kiss. Sure, some are sloppy and some are just noy passionate enough, but it gets better with experience. And usually, wet is much better than dry. Hahahaha.
i feel you. i've kissed about uh i'll keep that a secret, but
i never started to take a liking on kissing. what is wrong with me??? i even told my boyfriend that "it doesn't feel good"...
:(
I agree with everyone because They are good kisses and bad kisses and it depends on the experience plus it really depends on how u really feel about that person. so dont be afraid to kiss another guy
I remember all of my "first" kisses - the first peck on the cheek when I was about 5 years old (I even remember the outfit I was wearing...haha), the first small kiss on the lips when I was 15, and the first "big" kiss when I was 16. The only one that doesn't make me cringe was the one that happened when I was 5.
My first "big" kiss was AWFUL. It was with my boyfriend at the time, and when I walked into my parents' house (it happened when he dropped me off), I could SWEAR they could tell we had done that. It was just incredibly awkward, unnatural, and yes...wet. Ick.
It got better with time, though, and each person you kiss will be a little different. I'd chalk this up to just having a bad kissing experience - it's not as if it will be that way forever. When you feel comfortable with this new guy, just practice with him.
I promise you'll find kissing to be enjoyable eventually!
In general, it's really difficult to enjoy "being kissed." There has to be some effort put in on your end. At least, that's my experience. Once I kiss them back and put some effort into kissing them, it is *much* more enjoyable.
for real. what wet faced slobber puss did you kiss? :]
really though i think you might have built it up pretty huge and then had a bad kisser. ultimate let down. kissing can be a little boring sometimes though. not gonna lie. if its the same thing over and over again it can just get repetitive and having someone on the other end that doesn't really know what theyre doing can be real awful
I agree with the above comments; you were a victim of a bad kisser. Sucks that it had to be your first one too! Hopefully the next one doesn't produce as much saliva haha.
Also, I don't think you can necessary connect the feeling of kissing and the feeling of sex. For one thing, they use two different orifices! Well, sometimes
I don't really like kissing. Mostly because I'm OCD and worry about those things. But, with my boyfriend now, he understands and sometimes, I just really WANT to kiss him. It all depends on the person.
Mine lets me feel comfortable, is hardly ever pushy, and works with me with my phobias. He is also really good at reading me and what I want (or will accept) in the moment.
my first kiss was sweet, he was an experienced kisser. but then the next few kissing victims.. were wet and slobby. it felt like they might eat my tiny mouth. and sometimes i worry about their health it seems like they ate my mineral powder away lol. i think it might of just been a bad kissing experience, dont worry =] it can be amazing when its with the right ( or a good kisser ) person, there's a rythem to things, and they dont eat your mouth...
I don't like slobby and wet kisses either.
Kissing is a very refined technique. But kissing technique doesn't *necessarily* imply sexual technique.
And, if you're a bad kisser, a better kisser could always teach you.
I know just how you feel. Hehehehe. ^_^
I was 21 when I had my first kiss and the first thing that came into my mind when it happened was how weird it felt. I guess for me, I was pretty tense about it. It was a wet kiss, also, so I feel your pain there. XD
Anyway, kisses happen differently for everyone. Some will feel great, some will feel weird. It all depends on who you're with. Your first kiss may not have been great, but it gets better with experience. That's for sure. ^_^
Maybe with this new guy, you'll have a more enjoyable time.
Best of luck. :)
I was lucky, my first kiss was great. But I'm sure most of us have all experienced the "bad kiss"!
Chances are it was a combination of a bad kisser (him) and you building it up so much in your mind and not knowing what truly to expect. This new guy could be a great kisser...give him a chance.
The guy I liked all through high school turned out to be a horrible kisser and I could never get past it! Luckily they aren't all like that. Don't give up!
Some people actually do give more wet kisses than others. I don't like a wet kiss like that either. The fact that there is saliva involved should not be a problem. And I'm a big proponent that if the kiss isn't right, then probably neither are the two of you being together. I was lucky, too lucky I'd say, the first kiss I had was uber awesome - so much so that not a single one has ever come even close since. I've had to throw that experience out the window, since the bar would be set far too high. Besides, I didn't love the guy so the emotion wasn't also involved. However, I have had other great and not so great kissers since. People tell me I kiss really well - I have to attribute it to that first kiss - a great lesson for me. But my best first kiss with real emotion packed into it was with someone who kissed great and delivered one of those movie-quality cosmos shattering connections. No kidding we both pulled away from that one with our minds blown. And to tell you the truth, it wasn't his or my technique that scored - it was something big like destiny or soulmates reconnecting in a new life... something huge like that. So, it's not all in the kiss, never just the kiss, imo. But the kiss at least has to be good enough as a basis... if the kiss isn't good, I can't put much stock in the sustainability of a relationship... to me a kiss must be great for both people or it may not be a "no-go" but it will certainly be a "not-get-very-far" (and I don't mean sexually).
he was probably just a bad kisser
Some kisses are good, some kisses are bad, but if that's all you're focusing on in your relationship, then you probably don't like the guy as much as you think you do...
But kissing is wonderful once you find someone that's good at it, trust me!
if it was too wet then the dude was prolly a sloppy kisser. i hate those too :S
Ugh, i went through like 3 guys who couldn't kiss. All wet and gross. Then i finally came across one who could. It wasnt so bad after that. =)