Sunday, 16 November 2008

• Three Reasons Why Guys Cut Ties with Their Exes

  This is a guest blog submitted by nobodyknows8116.
  
  To every girl who has been broken up with (Guys, read too and nod your heads in agreement)...I have found that, as a guy, the simplest part of a breakup is cutting off ties to your significant other. It's also the hardest and most painful because nobody wants to do it.
  
  As rough-and-tough as we appear, we guys are all pretty sensitive. Yeah, we hated watching "The Notebook" on the big screen, but we cherished that moment in the movie theater when you rested your head on our shoulder. So hopefully, you'll believe me when I say that when we cut off ties with you, it hurts us too.
  
  Every phone call we ignore eats at us. When you text us and say how you made a mistake and want to get back together, sometimes it's all we can do to hit delete and not text you back.
  
  Even after a month, after you finally realize that we're not getting back together and that we're not going to talk for a little while, we still hear rumors from our friends how you're still hurting and it hurts us too. (And yes, we do have confidants whom we talk to, but they're sworn under an unbreakable oath of brotherhood to never tell anyone else.)
  
  So why do we cut off ties to our ex-girlfriends?
  
  1. To help you : With breakups, especially when there was no huge problem between the two people (e.g. cheating), it takes time to heal the wounds that come with a breakup. Lots of time, and that time needs to be spent not thinking about you. The more you think about us, the less you'll be able to get over us. Seeing us every day is going to make it worse. So is looking at old photos, checking us out on Facebook and sifting through our stuff that we left at your house/apartment.
  
  So have a friend send that stuff back to us. Give your old photos to that friend to hold onto for a while until you're better. Delete us from Facebook; we won't take it personally. It's going to hurt at first, but it's like ripping off a Band-Aid -- there's a lot of pain at first, but it goes away much quicker than if you cut us off slowly.
  
  2. To help us: Again, we're hurting after a relationship. We invested almost as much time into it as you have (maybe even more) and we're losing someone that we still care about. We need time to ourselves to get into new routines. We have friends to reconnect with (you'd be surprised how many friends you don't hang out with as much because a girl gets involved). The more we think about you, the harder it is for us to get on with our lives. On top of that, a breakup should be final, and we don't want to give in and get back together with you only to break up and open up old wounds a week later.
  
  3. So that we can be friends when it's all said and done: I have never been able to be friends with an ex- girlfriend who I haven't cut ties with for at least a short amount of time. Actually, I need to clarify: I've never been able to be friends with an ex that I've had lingering feelings for. From a guy's perspective, those feelings need time to die so that there's room for a substantial friendship to form, and even after that, there's no guarantee that a friendship will blossom.
  
  It's hard to be apart from someone you were involved with, but we know that the less contact you have with us, the better off you will be. While some of our tactics for keeping away from you may come of as mean or inconsiderate, for the most part, we do them because we care.
  
  

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