Saturday, 15 November 2008
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I Have Feelings for A Guy I Met Online - Should We Meet?
This is a guest blog submitted by supersteller.Messages on Facebook flew back and forth, starting in mid-summer, between me and this guy. Let's call him George. I have no idea how we came across each other, but that isn't the point.
Recently, those messages have turned into fun AIM conversations. And those fun AIM conversations have lead to longer conversations. Our sessions actually last from roughly about 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. I feel like George and I actually connected. I haven't been able to talk to anyone like this, including my friends, for a long time. You know. . . the kind of talk that is just so entertaining and it could go on for hours on hours.
I feel like I can tell George anything, even if it is all over the internet and he claims the same. We flirt and we even gave each other nicknames. (Yes, lame! hahaha.)
Relax, disgusted and disdainful folks. I haven't done anything but talk to the guy. This is my first time actually establishing any relationship with anyone over the internet. And don't think I'm just another young naive girl falling for a pedophile's trap.
Even though it's established that he's not lying about his age or his intentions, I'm quite cautious of whether George could be a pedophile or not. That is just my nature to be extra careful, hence, my first encounter with an internet stranger. Gah, I can't help but feel a bit pathetic about all of this. But somehow the connection actually overrides most of my caution.
He actually lives quite near, maybe 5 cities away. Should I even consider meeting up with him? Or even taking this internet fling to a further step? Am I even remotely crazy or pathetic for doing such a thing?
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Comments (97)
Nah, people do weirder/crazier shit than that. Just be safe. You only live once.
Not knowing anything of your age/background, or his age/background, I can't really say whether you should meet this guy. IF you're both comfortable, definitely meet him some place public, during the day, and let a friend (or a few good friends) know where you'll be & when so that others know whether you're safe (let them know when you plan on contacting them next, too).
I met my current boyfriend through an application on Facebook, and honestly...I've never had such a SOLID connection with anyone in my life. We haven't been together all that long, but so far, everything has been wonderful. Like I said - we've connected in so many ways, that I can't remember what I thought was so great about relationships before him.
So, if you do move things to meeting face to face, BE SAFE. I don't think you're crazy or pathetic, and screw what other people think. If you and this guy have something good, you have something good...who cares how you "met"?
Personally I don't have any experience in meeting people online and develop a relationship. But these days, people meet each other in all sort of ways. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing. Only advice I have for you is if you are to meet him, meet in a public place first couple of time. Also, take things slow, don't rush into it.
I say just be safe. Use common sense, you know?
Bring a friend a long ~
and tell him to bring a friend , also .
GO AHEAD, MEET UP! I've done it before , but i do all background check first to make sure it's legit LOL. i don't date 'em though ;)
@immaairheadxl@xanga - as always, vic has good advice.
i agree, maybe u cud meet together in a more relaxed setting if u and him both bring a friend along. if u dont prefer that, just the 2 of u, just stay safe and meet in a public place like starbucks and chat, cant hurt can it?
Stop being so worried about what others think. You're not in the slightest pathetic or weird, or anything you seem to think of yourself. Relationships can start in anyway. The slightest attraction can start into something wonderful. I met somebody off the internet. And he was the best thing that ever happend to me while it lasted. At the start, however. Just like you, I was scared. What if he was some crazy stalker that had been after me for months? I built it all up in my head, and over-analyzed everything he said. But there was somenthing about him, I knew I couldn't pass up. So I took another guy friend with me to meet him. Everything from then on was perfect, ofcourse before the break up. But do I regret it? No. It taught me alot of things. You've just got to work out what you want. I think if you don't go check him out, you're going to be thinking "what if" - You'll never know until you try it. Take someone with you. Public places will also be good. See how it goes around then. Good luck! :]
noo its not weird its just maybe the beginning of a ldr. Plus your getting to know this guy way better by just talking on the phone, cuz its alot easier to open up to someone rather than if you were to in person. Well for me anyways. So just chill for now, enjoy the late night convos, and time will tell. Since he only lives about 5 cities away from you I dont see the big deal if you were to jump into a relationship.
From experience(perhaps not my own but as an observer), you never know what's out there. I think you should have a close someone know what you're up to.
Hmm this sounds like a situation I was in before
have you talked on the phone?
Do you trust him?
If you do decide to meet that person, meet in public.
I don't want to explain my situation because she reads this blog too kekekekeke...
go ahead and meet him. you never now what it could turn into! ive met people from online, guys and girls and each friendship/relationship was great. ive known some of the people ive met from online for 10 years and i dont regret ever meeting them.
follow your gut... if it doesnt feel right, dont let him force you into it if you arent comfortable. be careful and have fun!
The heart doesn't need a physical self present for it to run wild with thoughts of such. Its a dangerous game because well you havent actually meet this fella and you may be in for let down. If you feel serious about this dude, go for it, life is to short but dont expect a whole lot just "heeeey i'm going to meet FRIEND" and see if anything is there to pursue.
I'd say go for it. I met the most wonderful man I know online.
Do what you can to make sure he's legit, meet in a safe public place, maybe bring someone along... then go for it!
Love / Life is all about taking chances. From the sound of it, you guys really click so why not? =)
Public places...be cautious...like all of these wonderful xangans have stated before.
Good luck!
i would say on top of the public place bring a friend, or at least have many that know exactly where you are going, and make it an area you know well.
It's not weird. I've had my share of these online meetings lol (both male and female) & I still have good contact with them. Some of them turned into good friends and others not so much. There were 2 times where I actually kinda digged the guys I was talking to. The 1st one turned into my bf, now ex bf and the 2nd one became a very good friend of mine whom I have strong connections with lol. Either way it could actually turn out to be something great. Whether you guys could get serious or could become good friends, either way it's worth a shot. There's nothing to lose.
Just be careful though. Make sure that when you meet, you meet in a public place with lots of people around or you guys could meet with friends. Like u bring someone, he brings someone. That way it feels a bit safer and if it clicks, the next time he meets you alone but also in a public place. The 1st time meeting may be a bit awkward, but if it flows, it's good. If it doesn't, don't give up. Let some of your closest friends know where you are, what you're gonna be doing & with whom. And well...Just enjoy the moment.
Good Luck.
i say go for it. safely.
many of the other users have given good suggestions, such as meeting in a public place and each bringing a friend.
good luck!
thanks for asking this. i'm in the same boat.
i met a guy on stickam 6 months ago. since then we talk everyday online. we do other things to, we'll watch movies online at the same time and discuss them on chat at the same time, or watch mma fights, play counterstrike, play guitar, webcam, etc. it's fantastic.
i established that i am attracted to him and he is also but he doesn't believe in long distance relationships and id ont blame him.
but we have talked about meeting and we talk as if we are going to meet. if i could go visit him now, i would. but i cant right now, i'll probably go see him in the summer.
if you in your heart feel no doubt of it being unsafe, then go.
i'm definately going next summer.
good luck !
and i meant everyday :)
Be safee ~
i used to have online friends but not anymore~ i guess i don't know what to talk about to them wen they are no where near my life~
i think i did met a online friend before~ IDK sometimes the real person changes the way you feel about them~ but i did met that person in public and with a friend too~ = )
either way, better safe than sorry XD good luck
You can meet him at a public place with a friend. That way, it's safe. In my case, when I did it, I found that the person I met was very different in person than online. We didn't connect very well in person.
I agree with some of the others: if you plan to meet him, bring a friend along. You've gotta be safe. I also agree you should stop worrying about what other people think. This kind of thing is more common and accepted in our day and age. So don't worry about it. It's perfectly normal to meet people online in our generation. You just have to make sure it's safe. If I were you, I would want solid proof he actually exists, though. I have a friend who has been "dating" a guy for over a year and never met him. That is more than just being ignorant, that's downright stupid. Don't let yourself fail victim to something like that. I'd definitely meet him if I thought there was something there.
I can't say i really "met" my current girlfriend online, but that's how we first connected. She used to live nearby, and one of my best friends had dated her, so I knew she actually existed. Then she moved to Florida (I live in NC, and she had lived in TN, just outside the border of NC). We eventually started talking on myspace, which eventually lead to phone call conversations. I knew there was something there when i talked to her for hours on end without having officially met her. One night, even though it was a school night, I talked to her from 11 at night until i had to get up for school the next day. You just can't deny connections like that. We ended up dating, and I met her officially about 3 weeks after. We have been together ever since. Almost 14 months now. :]] Her and her twin sister actually made the move from FL to NC in may and we basically live together now. Kind of a fairy tale sounding story, but it could happen to anyone.
All in all, don't let it slip by you if you think something is there!
Don't be stupid.
I've been through the exact same thing...but after like 3 years of talking to the guy online, he started becoming really weird so I told him I didn't want to talk to him anymore and he said he would find me and kill me. Funny thing is that I knew his address/number/etc, but he knew nothing about me. But now he's cool with me again. >_> Whatever, haha. So weird.
If you're going to meet the guy, at least do it in a public place and maybe bring a guy (I don't know...I think a guy could protect you more than a girl...haha, not to be sexist) friend. I know it may be awkward, but it's just for your safety.