Mr. Lion Do people still care about inner beauty? My sister asked me last night after a few of her friends wondered what she saw in her boyfriend. They ask why she's with an "average" guy. In her eyes, her boyfriend is anything but average. To her, the best part about him is his heart and understanding. They're also in an interracial relationship, but she doesn't look at him any differently. She claims he's one of the most beautiful people she's ever met.
I told her most people overlook inner beauty, but learn to appreciate it when they choose to love someone. I mean, the first part of attraction is how the other person looks. After the initial attraction, other things come to play and usually couples realize how great their respective partners are. Most couples, that is...some realize but still end up breaking up with their partners and hurt each other.
Do you think people still care about inner beauty? Is it an initial attraction or something that builds over time?
Comments (87)
Isn't inner beauty sorta the same as personality? If so, then oh yea people still care about that.
It seems that people are starting to care less and less. I don't even want to think about society and how shallow it has become.
For me, when I like someone, it takes time. I need to know who they are as a person.
For me, it almost always works like this:
-I meet a guy
-I like the guy in a friendly way
-I learn more about the guy
-I start to develop physical attraction to the guy
-I date the guy.
But maybe that's just me. Many other girls I know seem to have this inherent initial attraction standard going that I've just never understood.
awokenfatality@xanga- I'm the same way. I agree.
I think people still care about inner beauty. Inner beauty is pretty much your character and personality, your qualities. I don't know it being an initial attractive, but I am sure it builds over time. The more time you spend with the someone, the better you get to know them. You learn to love and appreciate the person for who they are.
I always become friends with guy that I might like and I get to know them before dating. Looks matter, but they aren't the most important thing ever.
Xo
I do but I'm starting to think that the rest of the world doesn't. There are people who treat their SO like crap and the SO's stick around.
I do, and in fact, I believe in it more than I do in external beauty.
My sweetheart was wounded in Iraq. Almost fatally, in fact. By the time I met him, he was ten months into his recovery, a process that, two years into our relationship, is still ongoing. His back left shoulder has a deep, puckered scar from where the bullet penetrated his flesh, and a lump where he's still retaining some shrapnel. The left side of his neck bulges slightly outward because so much of him was blown away that they had to use his pectoral muscle to rebuild the area. As a result of the rearrangement, the place where his pectoral muscle used to be is now a large, hairless, depressed scar mottled pinky-white and stretched tightly over his ribs. If you look closely, you can see his heart beating through the skin. Under his adam's apple lies the faceplate for his tracheostomy tube, the five-inch, curved piece of plastic that allows him to breathe and keeps him alive, allows him to breathe in spite of the scar tissue that blocks his airway and covers his vocal chords. He'll have the scar tissue and the tracheostomy tube forever. Over his right shoulder, he has a trap-door incision--long, ropey and tight to the point that it sometimes inhibits his movements. The entire right side of his neck is a smooth, hairless, pink skin graft.
And you know what? I've never known him any other way, and to me, he is the most beautiful man in the entire world. To me, he's sexy--sexy for his brilliant mind, sexy for his sense of humor, sexy for his beaming smile and his dark green eyes, sexy for the way he wraps his arms around me and holds me, sexy for everything he does, even when he doesn't realize he's doing anything at all. He's amazing because he loves me and appreciates me just the way I am. When I'm with him, I feel perfect, like who and what I am is exactly who and what I'm supposed to be--and that's a feeling I never knew before I met him.
Yes, I still believe in inner beauty. I see it first thing every morning when I open my eyes, and last thing at night before I close them again. It's not just that inner beauty exists--it's that it's probably the only kind of beauty that's really real at all.
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - That is generally how I become attracted to girls. However, while I find wonderful personality is always necessary, it isn't always sufficient - if, even after coming to admire her personality, I still do not find a particular woman attractive, then it is back to square 1.
@FireMapleSong@xanga - I have never been in the dilemma of finding a man to be personally desirable, but not physically attractive enough. Unless he was just too old/young for me altogether, which I claim is a different case. It's not that I couldn't be attracted to him, it's more that I know that we wouldn't be compatible, so some super-intuitive part of my brain knows we wouldn't work out.
Of course first impression counts. But after a talk and knowing him a little better through that conversation, it builds up from there.
I am not picky with physical appearance, so inner beauty does count for me.
Yes. My sister has often said "well, [you're boyfriend] isn't the best looking guy [you've dated / in general / whatever]" but we both know he is a great guy, and I think he is beautiful.
@la_faerie_joyeuse@xanga - To be honest, I could be the same way; I just generally steer clear of people who I find visually repellent, and therefore have probably not given straight-up ugly people a chance to impress me with their personality. But one has to be pretty tough to look at for me to consider them "ugly" anyways. Still, I imagine if I met some incredibly awesome girl with a unique and intelligent personality who was extremely cross eyed and was missing a leg, well, that would be a deal-breaker, I think.
THE WORLD IS FREAKIN' SHALLOW. AND CAN SUCK A CUNT.
i'm really angry right now sorry, but seriously
the world is full of shallow people
ALWAYS FREAKIN' SHALLOW ASS MOFO-HO'S!
But inner beauty does always reflect on outer beauty
i was taught that through experience.
I've seen a beautiful girl transform into something hideous and dirty
and i've seen a handsome boy turn into a dick. Literally i see him as a walking dick.
They all had shitty personalities and deserve to be ugly like the rest of this shallow ass world
YOU DON'T NEED TO RESPOND TO THIS D;
IT JUST...I know what you mean.
"It's not just that inner beauty exists--it's that it's probably the only kind of beauty that's really real at all."
Beautiful_Disaster_74@xanga
well said.
I'm not sure about other people, but I've always tried to look deeper than skin deep. I've had friends who have asked me why I get into serious relationships with guys who aren't the most attractive guys in the world, but I shrug them off because I know they're incredible guys and that's all that matters.
I do. Because I've found one of the rare ones who is truly beautiful inside and out
@awokenfatality@xanga -. I agree.
I still think inner beauty is still important because in the end it's how you get along that matters. Â I always think attraction is infatuation and that usually last like 10 seconds before I get bored. Â But I do believe guys are more shallow than girls, but who knows maybe girls are just as shallow.
I don't think it has to be one or the other, initial attraction or something that builds over time. Both can certainly be there. And as for inner beauty, most definitely, it's a must - what's the relationship worth without it??? not much, imo.
I think most people still care about inner beauty. But it's a little hard not to notice looks before inner beauty, because you have to get to know the person before you see their inner beauty. You notice their looks in an instant. Sure, people give off vibes that let others know what kind of person they are probably dealing with, but even those can be deceptive. Inner beauty just takes time to see. And I think you can learn to find someone physically attractive once you've gotten to know them as a person. And I also think it's equally possible to get to know someone, think they are a great person, but never develop any sort of romantic attraction to that person.
People still care. It's what makes the average and ugly looking people beautiful and some of the beautifuls extremely ugly.
Of course. You're not gonna get looks your way for having inner beauty though. It's not how it works. And I don't believe in calling it inner beauty either. For all we know, the guy could be a scumbag, but could really be nice to her.
@Beautiful_Disaster_74@xanga - If xanga allowed me to recommend a comment, I would recommend this one. Beautifully said, and quite inspiring. Inner beauty does exist and is the only thing that matters. I fully agree with you, and I think your story is an amazing one.
That's what I go for at least - inner beauty. A person can be the hottest guy out there, total "stud" and still be a complete jerk.Â
And I hate the stereotypical looks which classify a guy as "hot." Six pack abs, perfect hair, strong chin, can crush a can with one hand, pick a girl up like she weighed nothing and twirl her around and perfect bod are NOT what makes a guy hot in my eyes. First of all not all girls are attracted to the same type of guy.Â
When I see a guy look at me with care and love in his eyes, hold me like I was the most precious thing on the face of this earth, remain faithful to me in times of temptation, listen to me when I'm angry and crying, let me put my arms around him when he's upset, and fight all odds and obstacles in order for us to be together... THAT is what makes the difference. I can look at him and start blushing at a mere glance because of his "hotness."