This is a guest blog submitted by luvs_u.
My wife and her friend are having this argument over whether or not friends pay for each other's meals. One is saying that if the guy pays, then they usually consider it a date. The other says that friends can pay for meals, too, just as friends. Hmm...
In my opinion, most guys don't offer to pay for girls' meals unless they're somehow kinda interested, or they just haven't seen you in a while, or they're working and you're not...I mean, some guy friends have offered to pay for dinner, but if they just see you as a friend, it's generally a one-time thing or for something special. If they keep on offering to pay for your dinners that you have alone, though, I think they may have genuine interest in you and will see each dinner as a date.
So, what's your take on paying and not paying for meals?P.S. I hate it when people pay for my meals - I don't mind it if it's my family and they're my older cousins or something, 'cause we always pay for each other, but if it's just friends, I feel horrible if people pay for me . . . even for a $2 coffee. I'm all about splitting the cost - I don't like monetary disputes!
Comments (163)
It's not necessarily a date if the guy pays. Just like it's not necessarily not a date if you don't let him pay for you. It could go any way from Sunday,and the only way to know is to know the individual guy involved.
I hate letting guys pay for me even when it *is* a date.
No not really. I have paid for plenty of girls but I don't like all of them. I just do it to be nice.
Depends. The guy could just be really nice or really old fashion.
@Roadlesstaken@xanga - i agree with him.
usually, if a guy pays for the meal and u've just met, hes interested, its tradtional
Do girls pay for a guy's meal if they are kinda intrested? I never heard of a case.
same goes for me. I dont like my friends to pay for me. Well, generally speaking, I just dont like people, except my parents, to pay for me . *-)
My male friends and I tag team especially when one of us is in a financial bind. I dont mind getting a free meal, and when someone does for me, I do for them
i do not split the cost of anything when it comes to family, friends, bf, or the guy i am dating. be mature, and don't fret over a few dollars.
Yeah...I feel awkward when people for me.
I actually pay for others quite often which may explain my ever increasing credit card debt, but I take gal friends out all the time. No strings attached, just being nice! Oh and I have a gf so I'm not concocting some diabolical reverse psychological plan to get them by being "nice".
peace
if the guy is really insistent on paying just let him; i've learned it's not worth arguing over. don't expect him to pay unless he made reservations beforehand, because some restaurants are very expensive and it will show how aware the guy is of both of you controlling your finances if he makes you pay for yourself without being aware that you were going someplace expensive.
I pay for my boyfriend occasionally. My boyfriend pays for me sometimes too.
When I'm just with my friends, we usually split the meal.
With my friends we have this unwritten rule that if neither of us has cash, one of us will just pick up the meal and next time the other person will get us. I wouldn't consider anything a date just by the mere fact of me paying for a meal.
It just depends.
I've learned to not argue if the guy is insistent that he pays. It doesn't necessarily mean it's a date though. Usually he's just trying to be polite.
if the guy always offers to pay, it's likely he has an interest in the girl. otherwise it's just a friend buying a friend dinner. i agree with how you see it. i hate it when it's supposed to be just friends hanging out and somehow it becomes a date. why don't people just state it from the beginning?
While it doesn't make it a date if the guy pays... GENERALLY I think he is interested if he offers to. Because unless it is clear that the relationship is a friendship and nothing more, then paying for dinner might lead to misconceptions that niether party wants to perpetuate. I think men, however polite, are aware of this. I don't think they would pay and give the girl they don't know that well any idea that they were interested unless they genuinely were.
I don't have a problem with my close friends (male & female) paying for my meals as long as they have plenty of $$. If they're poor and try to pay then there's a problem. But when I am flush with $$ I happily pay for stuff for them, so it evens out.
I offer to pay most of the time, or I pay for my own stuff. They do the same for theirs. It's not a date. It's only a matter of being friends or being nice.
I was told by a girl that by paying, I made it a date. I was just trying to be nice...
guys pay for my food all the time as just friends. lol.
They say they're just being gentlemanly. and its true. They have had no interest in doing anything with me.
But its different for different groups of friends. So who knows.
It depends on who has the job.. but generally I hate to let a guy pay for me, especially if I'm not interested in him, and usually I'll just refuse to go. My prom date was the exception, but his job paid more than mine, so he had to fork out the most cash.. and we mutually decided to go to prom together, just like we mutually decided to leave each other alone once we got there, haha.
In a nutshell.. if the guy pays and the girl thinks or knows he's interested, I think that makes it a date.
@Paint_it_Empty@xanga - I offer to pay for guys I'm romantically interested in to go to eat or to a movie or whatever with me. (Or, at least, I did when I had a job.)
could totally be friends. i wouldn't take it as a single tell-tale sign that he's thinking of it as a date. i've had friends, guys and girls, pay for me before (and returned the favor of course). if it's a date, the money certainly shouldn't be the only clue.
LOL, you can't say wife here! people will think you're a guy or a lesbian! :P
@MadisonLinh@xanga - hah, actually, I do not care if I'm out with friends and lend or borrow something, we always get it equaled somehow again, but I think it's a different thing if it's with girl friends, don't ya think?
I've had guys pay for my meals a few times and they were just really good friends. Â I don't make a habit of having people pay for my meals though.
accept someone's offer to pay gracefully...you're not mooching some people just show their love for you that way