Thursday, 06 November 2008

  • My Search for A Cuddle Buddy

    This is a guest blog submitted by bigaslives.

    At the beginning of this year, I attempted to snag myself a cuddle buddy. It was my first attempt at converting someone I was sort of casually dating into a someone that would keep me company during the cold winter nights (in a strictly non sexual way because I'm somewhat of a prude). I knew that a transformation like that needed lots of preplanning and prep in order to go smoothly.

    In my ideal mind, a cuddle buddy was a guy who would come over 2-3 times a week at about 11 p.m., wait patiently in my bed with no complaints until I was ready to go to sleep, spoon throughout the night and leave in the morning preferably around 7 a.m., preferably without my noticing or having to say anything. (I did mention this was an ideal definition, right?) Sweet, my brain thought, this is the perfect solution to my nighttime loneliness (as well as a great way to warm up my bed without buying an electric blanket!).

    So I casually mentioned to this guy I had been on a few dates with how I wanted a cuddle buddy. I mildly liked him. He was tall, polite and cute, but a bit boring and lacked a sense of humor (Hello, shallow much Bigaslives?!). I let it slip that possibly next time we hung out, he could try out for this position. I tried to be slick about it; I believe I said something like, "Hey Matt, do you wanna try out to be my cuddle buddy?" (I know, I'm so slick..) He said sure and we ended up making an appointment for a night to test out his cuddling skills. Haha. God, that should've been the first sign that this was a no-go. (Abort!)

    He came over around 10 p.m. one night and we did an awkward dance of small talk about stupid things like books (he didn't really read much), television (I didn't really watch much), and who-knows-what until I got fed up with beating around the bush and just blurted out, "Okay, let's cuddle." 

    We got into bed and in the beginning, it felt good to spoon. I'm not gonna lie - it had been awhile since I had been that physically close to someone, and although it wasn't sex, it was still satisfying. Hey, a girl's got cuddling needs as well. Anyway, fast forward an hour and it didn't feel as good anymore.

    We were in the above position with his arm so dutifully under my head. While he had fallen asleep, I was struggling with figuring out how to get my head off his arm. It wasn't that I don't enjoy this position - I do. (Although I always feel guilty my head weight is killing the guy's arm, or at the very least making it extremely uncomfortable and causing it to fall asleep and get that prickly feeling.) But, quite frankly, I wasn't used to his... well, buff, fatless arms. As strange as this sounds, I have only had experience cuddling with guys with a little more cushin' for the pushin', if you know what I mean. This was extremely new territory and it did not feel good.

    Needless to say, it was one of the most uncomfortable nights ever. I spent the rest of the night plotting how to get the heck away from his arm and ended up slowly pushing his arm away and sleeping with my head directly below the pillows and his arm. FAIL.

    I woke up the next morning after no more than 2 hours of sleep with the very real realization that this guy was still sleeping next to me and I had to start my morning ritual of getting ready for work. (Yes, we scheduled our cuddle buddy session on a weekday. Ultimate stupid decision, but in my mind, it set the stage for immediate morning departures without any excuse to linger around longer. I know, I know, I'm a bitch. Whatever.) So I made a huge ruckus getting outta bed, mumbled a few things about having to hurry to get to work and how he could see himself out, and ran to the shower.

    And that was my one and only attempt at employing a cuddle buddy. Have you ever tried something like this before?

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