This is a guest blog submitted by bmrowland. I woke up to an alarm this morning - one that was not my own. It was my boyfriend's. Watching him get out of bed and get ready for class shouldn't have bothered me, but this morning it did.
It bothered me this morning because his alarm woke me up from a dream, in which he had been cheating on me with his ex-girlfriend. He would never do that to me, and I know it. I know it was just something rattling in my brain at late hours of the night; however, the dream was enough to stir something in me.
The need to creep.
I don't care who you are; if you're female and you have access to any sort of networking site, you've creeped. You've done it out of curiosity, fear and jealousy. Whether he be a crush, friend or boyfriend, you've checked out a female who he has either dated or is dating (or maybe she just randomly left him a comment to say hi).
The first thing I did this morning was jump to my laptop and Facebook stalk the ex-girlfriend in question. I read her entire profile from top to bottom; I read everything on her comment wall and I even went through all of her pictures. (This is hilarious, mostly because A) I know her and we used to be some sort of friends, and B) I've already stalked her - when I found out one of my other boyfriends had dated her, I hunted her down.)
After Facebook, I jumped to MySpace, an equally well suited stalking site. After I'd been through there, I visited his MySpace page and stalked all of the females in his top friends except my sister.
After about an hour of overreacting, I closed my laptop and scolded myself.
So I pose the question, why do we do it? Are we sizing up our competition or do we actually not trust the people we're with?
Or, can we honestly chalk it all up to human nature...?
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Comments (107)
lol guilty as charges; not on face book. xanga is better then myspace.................
LMAO everyones been there
I think it's because we're insecure. Even if we're super confident people all of us have our insecurities.
It may not be that we don't trust our SO, but sometimes it's normal to worry that they'll leave you and you want to make sure they don't catch you off guard if it happens.
This is where "thats how you know" from enchanted comes into play :) That's why it's good to remind your SO every day that you care for them and they're the only one for you. Not just at first, but througout the entire relationsihp.
I think it's a little of both--especially when that person has done something beforehand to question your judgment on trusting them.
Guilty as charged. :]
I think we do it because we're insecure and we're afraid of what will happen, especially if we could have known about it beforehand.
i do it. i go through little fits of jealously and i make myself be like well i'm better than her. i just need to see who she is. i have to know!.. i don't know why it happens though.
i get super jealous on my boyfriend page when he was all these girls on there talking tohim. but it doesn't bother me as much anymore because i don't even have a myspace and he doesn't use his facebook. so i'm calming that part down.
and yeah part of it is not trusting him. my ex boyfriend always talked to a lot of girls on these things and i never trusted him fully so i stalked all those girls just like you did.
i think there is something wrong with it and we should learn to control ourselves a bit more, but i KNOW it's hella hard. hahahaha... oh well at least we're not in it alone. lol.
Guilty! In fact... I just finished doing so.
I had same experience. I had a dream that the guy I'm dealing with got back together with his ex (whom I know he was in love with), and it just scared me a little that it could be true.
And I agree, it's all part of our insecurities that makes us do these things. Curiosity always gets the best of us.
Fear.
curiosity?
I guess it depends on what you're feeling at the moment. I've checked out pasts to see what kind of girls he used to go for, see what they were/are like, mentally compare myself and when things are going well, see why I've been chosen over them. Sometimes you can tell a few things about the guy by who they chose to date before and depending on what you know about them now, how they may or may not have changed.
If the question of cheating is in place, you hunt for the potential enemy to see what makes them more alluring than yourself. Of course if I got to that point and it was true, then I'd accept my loss and be like, okay she's able to provide him with that stuff, and I sure as hell don't want to do that anymore knowing he's with her for that reason. Sharing ain't always caring.
haha this is toooo funny...because there is no one i know who hasn't been there. i get curious and bored, what can i say?
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHA.
damn, that's all I have to say - sigh, I do it out of curiousity! I wanna see if the female is hot, bitchy, or smart..If we know the same people in common. Jealousy? Not really, just curious..I wanna know if this person is like me or not! LOL. This shit is hilarious. I'm guilty of it :) I did this shit over the weekend. Went thru the nigga'z text messages because he fucked me over :)
Ah yes, Facebook and Myspace, the two main places where stalking is legal and very incognito. I've done it a few times myself, but more so out of curiosity. I don't think I've ever stalked peoples profiles out of jealousy though. Everyone has done it at least once. At least, everyone being the people who own a facebook and myspace. Those sites make it way to easy to pass up stalking.
HAHA!! Ah, yes, I've done something of the sort before, but I don't think as much as you have in the example above. I think it's a little bit of everything. We're curious folks. :)
@uhm_roar@xanga - lol noy everyone but those of us that count anyways! lol hugs
@MaganLe@xanga - sometimes but not everyone; we understand.
human nature
@fayebernoulli@xanga - is being board enough of an excuse? i hope it is! its my note of excuse for some of the shit i do; online and offline......
@Bustitup@xanga - yes humans are part of nature!
@istoleyourmuse@xanga - curiosity kills the cats?
@istoleyourmuse@xanga - xanga too.
@moritheil@xanga - there is no reason to be afraid; or there shouldn't be of xanga? right?
@thegreatchristopher@xanga - Ah, but I am afraid of you and of every other Xangan who goes out of their way to twist the words of others.
Somehow my response "You do this out of fear" has become mutated by you into "fear of Xanga." And now I'll get a dozen messages from idiots asking "LOL you fear Xanga when you're on it? LOLOL."
@moritheil@xanga - no its okay; i understand now what you are saying; its all good. im not trying to fight with you and if anyone will say that; i give you permission to point the finger at me if anyone attacks you about fear. you have my blessing to them them my way. i will beat those mother fu¢kers down.
i am sorry i did not mean to twist your words or add spin to your post.
I like your comic xanga stuff!
im evil but you dont need to fear me; im evil but im nothing but a xanga whore under it all.
I think we're more likely to do so if he has done something in the past that damaged our trust.