Monday, 03 November 2008
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How Should I Ask This Guy Out?
This is a guest blog submitted by Nickie Lynn.A few days ago I was assigned to put flyers up around the local mall advertising one of our upcoming events. Our "mall" is pretty much just an indoor corridor with a few stores and and central place with tables and several surrounding restaurants. I went from one place to the nex t trying to hang up my posters and at most of them I was turned down because the store policy wouldn't allow it.
I came to a newly opened sushi restaurant. As I approached the counter with my flyer I saw something I wanted that wasn't on the menu....Mr. Sushi.
Okay, so his name is not Mr. Sushi. (Duh.) He was actually the cashier... a very cute cashier. The bad news -- there were three other coworkers around him. I smiled and said why I was there and asked if I could put a flyer in the window. He handed me a roll of tape, pointed to the flyer-covered glass at the front and said, "Pick your spot." I hung my flyer up, returned the roll of tape to him and said thanks, then left.
As I walked away I realized I had an unusual dilemma. With three other coworkers behind the counter (a small space) it would be very difficult for me to strike up a conversation. Nothing short of the fire alarm could pull those coworkers away far enough for me to talk to him and only him. I have never run into this issue before, but it's like playing Human Tetris -- you have to get all of the people lined up just right in that tiny restaurant to win. I don't want to make him feel awkward in front of his coworkers, so I need something that takes the attention off of me/him a little....maybe a good-hearted wingwoman?
I don't mean to trivialize the situation at all. But although I give good relationship advice to my friends, deep down inside I am still the same shy, studious girl that I was in high school. Plus, I blush a lot.
I started considering my options:
Option A: Stop by the restaurant by myself sometime and ask for a recommendation. I'm an adventurous eater but clueless about sushi, so asking for some advice would be a good way to start conversation. BUT....there's no guarantee he'll be the one to answer, and I can only go there a couple of times without seeming like a creeper. And of course, I want to get to know him a little first just to make sure he's a good guy; how can I accomplish that so quickly without it looking a little awkward?
Option B: Try something I've never done before and don't normally advocate--a wingwoman. With two of us going, it will seem more like we just came out for lunch that day (and less creeper-ish). Plus if my WW asks a question and he answers, it will still give me a chance to see a little of his personality. And it is much, much easier for him to start talking to us if there are two girls and not just one; there's less tension that way.
Option C: Do nothing.
Hmm...I'm really stumped on this one. How should I start conversation with Mr. Sushi? Should I even try? And what can I do about the coworkers?
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Comments (34)
I vote against C. Go for B if you can find the right person to work with.
I like option A better. Just make sure it's only him that you talk to and that answers to you. Go back maybe 2 -3 times a week and he will start to recognize you. Once you guys break the nice (small talk while ordering or something), then ask if he wants to get din din sometime.
I definitely think you should go back and eat there (better with a girlfriend, but not necessarily a WW). You can choose the perfect time to purchase the food i.e. as few coworkers as possible. Then I'd say go for the flirty conversation even if there a couple people around. If he's worth his weight in sushi he will ask you out before you get away.
Oh, this is SO cute! :) When I see a cute guy...I'd slip him a little smile...Look away..Look back, wink&give him a little wave..but if I was in your situation hahaha...
Sigh, here I gooooOOOOoo:
Go to the sushi place with a few friends...*girls!* of course.hehe, go to the restroom, and you walk up to the cash register..ask him for a few suggestions..if he's flirting back with you a little bit * YOU CAN TELL CUHZ I SURE DAMN CAN * then pull him to the side a little bit..lol, ask him out =] it's not hard ..lol
Trust me, I would sit at the bar area. AND the WORKER SSSSSSSSS at the restaraunt would write their numbers on my receipt. lol
tell me how it goes. (master.of.flirting)
do you need date insurance?
hmmm, you could always try the bold approach and, ask him if he wants to do something sometime,
haha i know that i would find that attractive in a girl =]
and i know that if you're shy it'll be hard, trust me, i use to be extremly shy, but it is worth it alot of the time, to just put your self out there =]
Xo
B all the way. If you're generally a shy person or don't really know how to get a smooth conversation going, a buddy can usually help you when you get in a bind.
If you want to talk to him without the awkwardness of his coworkers around, can't you catch him after his shift ends? That may be a little stalker-ish though...
Option B is nice though. =]
Option A. You know, you can be a regular patron of the restaurant without having to strike up a conversation with him each time. Just a simple greeting or a smile will do. Ocasionally you can strike up a conversation about sushi, etc. In that way, you won't sound like a stalker or something. As for the co-workers, they are always there. You can't do anything about it. Just let nature takes it's course. If it's yours, it will be yours.
P/S. Don't try too hard else it will seem to be too obvious
Yay, you got your post onto datingish! Anyways my advice is pretty much the same as I wrote on your original post. Not a bad idea to listen to @immaairheadxl@xanga ; she seems to know what she's talking about
If nothing else, guys generally love it when a girl approaches them, so you really don't have much to lose. Hope to read a future post about how it went!
haha, there's actually a sushi place where i grew up in nj called mr. sushi.
if you go with the wingwoman idea, a little suggestion (i don't know how others feel about this): take a little trip to the bathroom and have your ww tell the guy you think he's cute. and to make it seem like you didn't preplan it, she can say beforehand "you know, my friend would kill me if she knew i was telling you this, but..."
Bring a girlfriend along.. not so much a wingwoman but a girlfriend. You might feel more comfortable with a friend along & hopefully that will alleviate some of your shyness. I'm shy too & I know I definitely wouldn't do what you're doing.. You've got guts~ Good luck!
You could try working there or become a regular.
Being a regular would make it so that he would see you several times a week, and eventually would get to know you somewhat. (Hey, he might even know what you want before you even order!)
You just need to develop a taste for raw fish. ^^ Or pretend to.
Ummm, or you could wait around (discreetly) in the mall outside of the restaurant (but nowhere NEAR the restaurant, so he won't know) and ask him out while he's not working. Although you might have to explain that you've met him before. Heheh.
At least, that's if you want to be sneaky about it. You could always just walk right up to him, order something, and then while it's getting ready ask him out, casually. I really am not sure, but I hope it helps... good luck!!! :D
I'd say, be upfront with him. flirt a little and if he flirts back, slip him a cute note with your number on it. or just talk to him. ask him if he could give you a minute. smile, and dont be nervous! guys love when girls are a little forward. they think its hot.
oh something similar to this was asked a whileee back ago.
Anyways, a word of warning... from experience (except that I'm a guy). If you like the restaurant, don't do it.
I managed to ask a girl at my usual coffee shop out for lunch. We had lunch and I asked for her number. Then nothing happened as I didn't feel a vibe between us. I went back to the store and for some reason things seemed to have changed... no more smiles and such awwwkwwaarrrddddd
Now I can never go back to there.
Strike up a conversation, but don't ask him out. Guys should pursue girls, not the other way around.
Option A although I don't understand why you wouldn't just come out and ask?
Option A. You aren't a creep if you just become a regular. Every resturant has regulars, so act like you enjoy sushi! At least it's something trendy and not mcdonald's.
I have had this dilema many a time.
Slip him ur number on a piece of paper. Coffee some time?
That way he wont feel pressured or obligated to talk to u if he does not want to and u both will be comfortable enough to talk naturally away from work.
Kaia
it should definitely be as natural as possible...you were there to put up flyer for an event, right? why not tell him about the event when you go there to eat with a friend and see if he is interested...even if he's not interested, at least you will have a chance to talk to him again and maybe some other topic of conversation might pop up. but if he does show some interest then there's your chance to hang out with him at the mall event, no? smile a lot and be cheerful, guys like that. hope it works out for you.
definitely NOT C because you'll always be wondering what if. so all you need to do is ask him for assistance in the flyer poster area where the other two dorks aren't around, then just straight out ask him out.
IF YOU GOT THE LOOK' DRESS YOURSELF UP' WEAR SOMETHIN A LITTLE MORE TEMPTING, THERES NO WAY THAT A GUY WOULD SAY NO! WHEN YOU APPROACH HIM WITH EXPOSURE OF A LITTLE SKIN! BUT IF YOUR FAT AND UGLY' ALL I CAN SAY TO YOU IS,FORGET IT!
Never heard of a wing-woman before, haha. The idea sounds interesting. . .
It's best to do something rather than nothing. At worst, you get either a great sushi recommendation [if not from him, then someone else he asked for] or a lunch date with one of your girlfriends. At best, you walk away with his number, or at least with the potential for more.
Good luck!
@midgetmachine@xanga - Agree, very hot