Saturday, 01 November 2008
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Women Dress for Women and Undress for Men
Miss Seal
I overheard this at my parents' dinner party. It's definitely true. Have you ever noticed that you can spend an hour perfecting the hottest eye shadow combination and your guy won't even notice? Or that you bought the trendiest new dress with the hottest print and you may as well be wearing sweatpants?We turn to Cosmo for an explanation. I will not go into all of my objections against Cosmo here (suffice it to say, I was bored), but in an old issue of the magazine, the editors asked males to rate what they most wanted a female to wear on a first date. The results:
1) A white t-shirt with a denim skirt or jeans
2) A mini-dressOkay, I'll stop right there. Am I the only one who finds this frustrating? My friends and I agree that often the best part of a first date is getting ready. All the anticipation is there, and you take that extra bit of time to look good. All they want is a pair of jeans?
Clearly, there's something to the "Dress for women; undress for men" maxim. And I don't like mini-dresses either. It's cold. The super-cool Grecian draped dress I just bought will only be appreciated by my girlfriends? Why, cruel world?
So, do you find that guys prefer a more casual, subtle look to something cool, new and hip? Why is this so?
How much time do you put into figuring out what to wear on a first date?
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Comments (80)
i prefer a woman to be in what's comfy for her, in what make her who she really is. dressing to impress me would only be a waste of time because somewhere along the date, i'll imagine you with NOTHING on......sorry, it's true. i'm a pig....oink oink.
you already know the source of your frustration--you listened to fucking cosmo, of all sources.
guys might not outright notice (let alone comment on) the details of what you're wearing on a date BUT we do subtly notice...or at least, i do anyway. i can't necessarily tell when a girl's wearing make-up, for example, but something subconsciously does think "wow, she's looking really hot." i personally wouldn't compliment a girl on a date (not referring to relationship stage) because i know that girls like compliments a lot less than they'd like to admit. in my mind though i'm flattered if she does go to the trouble to look good.
fyi though, jeans can be really hot, so long as they're low rise, they fit well (i.e. tightly), and you have a nice ass.
As a guy, I'd say I would notice (not that I have an extreme preference). Here's how I'd react in two different situations.
To a girl who dressed up - I'd probably be dressed up as well, as the occasion mandated. I'd put on my southern gentleman charm, give a sweeping bow, take her hand and kiss it, and walk her to the car, making absolutely sure to open her door.
To one who dressed down - just as awesome, but in a different way. In this case, I'd probably light up like a Christmas tree when she breezed out the door, maybe take her hand, chat as we walked to the car, all the while anticipating a nice picnic or day at the zoo, or whatever. Going casual, it doesn't matter what you do.
like at least 15-30min just figuring** out what to wear
Then trying it on, throwing it on the bed, trying on another outfit
Just for a date sometimes I have to try out 3 different outfit before im satisfied
Yeah, umm. I don't really spend hours getting ready for dates (or anything except homecomings and proms) but I can't go under 30 minutes. Damn thick, unmanagable ETHNIC hair. :}
I try to dress appropriately for the occasion though. Like, I'm still in high school so my dates usually consist of football games and a bite to eat afterwards. Or a house party.
I guess this is a wake up call to us. Maybe we shouldn't freak out over things like that and just have fun.
if i had my way i'd show up in my brazilian thong with a cape on and nothing else. now i understand this doesn't bode well sometimes but really, i dont think any dude cares so as long as you wear something that accentuates your assets.
if u date a guy that really cares about *brands* and/or *colors* you wear: BEWARE. he is probably gay.
yours truly,
i'm kinda liking this site.
I am probably an oddity among men but I really would prefer that the girl wore what was most comfortable for her. I always wear what is comfortable for me and a date is no different. I figure that by the time you are on the date you know that there is some attraction and interest, so I view the date as a chance to get to know each other better and for that the girl could be wearing a gorilla costume (well maybe not that as the mask would make it difficult to read facial expressions). I can't speak for other guys but if the girl is too dolled up then I think two things; one, she is insecure and needs external validation to feel worth in her life and two, she expects me to care about nothing but her looks. Neither one is a positive as they make me think that she probably will not be truthful and is likely trying to hoodwink me.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - "fyi though, jeans can be really hot, so long as they're low rise, they fit well (i.e. tightly), and you have a nice ass."
Amen.
Anyways, I personally don't consciously notice what the girl wears on a first date, unless they clearly went overboard with the make-up and perfume.
I've always dressed for myself, including my lingerie.....I don't understand dressing for others....Seems that would be soooo uncomfortable.....
Maybe this will come as shock: guys often actually like girls for who they are as well as how good they look. Girls are not attractive or unattractive for how much time they put into looking good on the day of the date. We do noticed the difference between t-shirt and jeans, but most of us think that it's the girl who [vastly] over-estimates the difference it makes. If you want to spend time into looking good, take the time to eat healthy and be athletic (this does NOT translate as eat nothing and be scrawny). Spend the rest of your preparation time reading books and having something interesting to say when you are on the date. For me personally, it doesn't matter how beautiful a woman is if she can't put words together into complete thoughts--hence, has nothing behind the eye-shadow--there won't be a second date.
I'm sure guys prefer a lady who "Dress to express" rather than "Dress to impress."
I dress how I want. If someone doesn't like it.. Whatever.
@bigjezza - Tehe my best guy friend is like that but he's not gay. He likes girls way too much lol
Guys don't pay attention to detail when it comes to how women look. The natural look is better without all the unnecessary makeup. Doing nails and eye shadows are for girls to chit-chat with other girls. Guys don't even pay attention to all those things. If you talk to a guy about all those things, you would probably bore him to death.
Guys care more about the women facial feature and body figure, not necessarily what women are wearing. All these fashion statement are for women to chit-chat about.
@ILovePOOTPOOT@xanga - "Dress to Express" I like that. A new slogan for a clothing company. I'm pretty sure a guy likes a gal who expresses herself.
Overall i dress for myself, but if I care about how I look to others, its like this. I take care of details like color and style and jewelry for my friends who are girls, but the overall effect is for the guys. If that makes sense.
5-10 minutes to put the outfit together. I'm not big on looks or how I dress.. so long as I feel cute, I'm happy. :)
My boyfriend will notice what I wear, especially if it's something he hasn't seen in a while.. & he'll comment on it. :)
@bigjezza - HAHAHA! I would totally do that if I wouldn't get arrested for indecent exposure... or something. Nice.
@xo_vintagelove_xo@xanga - DUDE. Your friend is probably rummaging through your underwear drawer with his face when you're not around.
SERIOUSLY.
If one of my guy friends was to say something like, "I can't believe she wore that purple sash with that metallic Gucci handbag" I would let him know that I was there for him and would be when he was ready to come out of the closet.
Key things here are, again, *brands* and *colors*. Now if he said, "Dude, I was a little drawn back to see her with a serious muffin top in those tight jeans - I mean, I guess they're fashionable but do absolutely NOTHING and actually DAMAGES their figure", I would totally agree and then offer to have a couple of cold ones down in Old Ballard, here in Seattle.
THere's a difference.
BTW: I can't wait for the skinny, flat ass, muffin topping jeans fad to go out. Ladies: if you don't have an olympic gymnast body, DO NOT WEAR THESE.
yours truly,
about to go to Old Ballard for some beers
@phuck_diz_shiz@xanga - I know! SO frustrating! Before the pre-date-shower, my clothes are nicely in my closet and in drawers. And then, after the shower... most of them are on my bed. It's cruel!@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - A good fitting pair of jeans is hard to find but once found, they're worth whatever the price!@ILovePOOTPOOT@xanga - Well put :)
What men prefer depends on the individual, as with everything. If I'm going to put effort into my appearance, it's going to be directed into my own personal style, which isn't exactly appropriate for dates. So I'd go with the white t-shirt and jeans over something "trendy" anyway (less work).
i'd rather dress for comfort than style.
that being said, my fiance usually likes me in jeans and a tee (what i normally wear outside of work), with minimal makeup. it freaks him out when i dress up, haha.
guys who know a tad much about fashion freak ME out, btw.
@bigjezza - Tehe not like that. But im not gonna try to explain him on xanga lol.
i have to completely disagree.
i think women dress good to feel good about themselves and in fact look good for their date. sure, men don't notice little details like eye shadow combination but they do notice other larger details or perhaps how that our eyes look bigger (thanks to the ey shadow combo we did) when i do my make up i do it becamse i feel it makes my eyes look pretty not because i think itll make a guy notice the combo. i in no way do it for other women just because they're the only ones who will notice.
i definitely don't dress for other women..i dress for myself haha
for dates, boys should dress comfortably (because I certainly will), and for first dates, it should never be more than casual...who ever heard of a formal first date? maybe if the only events you go to are formal...
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - jeans don't have to be tight to be hot. no clothing does, honestly. they should fit well (not drowning in fabric and not too tight!), look like they were made for you, yes. tight, not necessarily. :P
and saying girls don't really like compliments that much makes me wonder where you get your information....