This is a guest blog submitted by breakingthemold.At the moment I have 4+ loads of laundry upstairs which aren't getting any closer to being done by me sitting here at my computer. Makes me think how much I'd love some help in that area right now.
Most girls I know love any help in those daily chores, too; who wouldn't?
I have fond memories of washing/drying dishes withe the guy I'm interested in now. And... none of my ex. Hmm, wonder if that's a correlation? Kidding...but seriously, do you go out of your way to help your SO in dishes, laundry, house cleaning, etc., or is it "to each their own"?
Do you appreciate your SO helping you out in daily chores? Is it something you would do for them or go out of your way to help?
How important is it to connect with him or her on small day-to-day tasks?
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Comments (32)
I think it's very important. Sometimes, I don't mind doing chores by myself, but sometimes I like help. And I like the whole shared responsibility thing... I cook, he does the dishes, vice versa. I make the bed one day, he makes it the next. I found that this works out really well (and thankfully, he's more than willing to volunteer and help, and sometimes just do it for me!)
I definitely appreciate it when my hubby helps me with stuff like cooking, doing laundry, picking up, etc. We try to do the shared responsibilities thing, especially since we both work all day - its not like I'm sitting at home doing nothing all day (and therefore I'd expect to have to do more around the house than him). I do the laundry by myself sometimes, but he'll help fold it and put it away. I'll do the major cooking and he'll do the sides we're having with it. But any little bit means a lot to me.
Now, now. I would only consider it "fair" for him to be helping me out around the house if I was helping him out doing other traditionally "guy" tasks... like for example, mowing the lawn or unclogging a drain. Share and share *alike,* after all.
I haven't really done chores with my exes... I did help one of them move. But that wasn't all that much fun.
Coincidentally, the laundromat in many cities is kind of considered a place to pick people up. There are certain laundromats that are known for being better "meet markets" or whatever. It's kind of ridiculous. The last thing I want when I'm doing laundry is for some guy to try to pick me up because I'm usually dressed in baggy sweats, haven't showered, don't have any makeup on, etc, when I'm doing laundry.
@Wait_by_Moonlight@xanga - My SO and I, we do not live together, so I think it's fair to say that I don't mind helping him with laundry and dishes, and I would definitely be appreciative if he helped me with those, as well. I'm not sure how different it would be for married couples.
In my case, I do think it's a good bonding experience, and in a way, it gauges the "potential" of a guy. If he's not going to help you out now (especially for something so small), what makes you think he's going to help you out in the future? I know for sure that I do not want some bum who is dependent on me to do everything for him, like his mother.
i think it's cute when my fiance helps out with chores. it shows he's not the typical "you cook/clean/do laundry, and i'll sit here and burp/fart."
usually i'll cook, and he'll do the dishes. we do our own laundry, but that's only because i have 3x more clothes than he does and have all these special requirements (wash cold then hand dry; hand wash, etc). =P
I love it when my husband helps me out with chores. I am the one who stays at home, with the kid so it is just a given that I clean up the house. If I catch him cleaning something, I almost always help. He doesn't do the same, but I understand it sometimes. He does every once in a blue moon, so it's good. =)
Yeah, i loved doing things for my so. It was just something i enjoyed doing. One thing tho, she couldn't cook for the life of her, so i did that whenever she came over. She likes to fold my clothes though...odd.
we either help eachother or we will surprise eachother and work on it while the other is at work and i always tell him how much i appriciate him doing chores!
Well, my ex and I used to share chores..equally. If he was to cook, i did the dishes and if I was to cook, he did the dishes. Laundry and cleaning the house was out of the question, we did everything together. It gave us quality? time in an interesting way. lol Some times, when I came back from work, the house is clean, laundry done, and dinner set. Then after dinner, he would volunteer to do the dishes while running a hot bath for me. I loved it when he did that because I had time to relax. I couldn't thank him enough. ;P
i think it's awesome. my boyfriend does my dishes when he visits more than i do my own. we do our dinner dishes together when i'm over at his place.
we have different schedules and sometimes when we spend the night together, one of us have to wake up early to go to meetings and such.. in which case we always come back to our rooms to find that the other has cleaned it and made the bed before leaving. It puts a smile on my face =)it's not like i ask him to do anything.. but chores are things that have to be done anyways, and it's really thoughtful when the SO helps out. shows that they're marriage material.. you get the assurance that you won't be stuck doing everything in the long run.@Wait_by_Moonlight@xanga - exactly...there are things for one another...he couldn't ask me to help him mow the lawn..because that damn thing is heavy to push at times...if you are using the old ones like my dad still has ...he says it makes him feel like a man..(until you rback breaks yeah!)
but ...helping out once in a while is great for all...its best to be willing to do it...rather than forced...
My husband will do his own laundry on sundays or something, if I didn't get to it during the week. It's hard for me to remember doing things when I have a 5 month old. Ever since I've been pregnant/given birth I can't remember a lot of things. My memory is starting to come back though. He understands. He knows the baby is a lot of work. He knows I try. He'll help me clean up on the weekends if the house is a mess. He'll watch the baby after work while I do the dishes/ cook dinner,etc.
I think this is one area where it's important to put your effort where you mouth is. It's great to say "I love you" and believe me, she wants to hear it as much as I want to say it, but when you make an effort to help her with anything in the house that she has to do, it shows that you love her...enough to sacrifice whatever you would otherwise do. She needs to know that she's more important to you than the football game or shining up the truck or playing pool with the guys or whatever. Actions speak louder than words. Always have, always will.
For the record, I enjoy being able to do anything with/for my SO. I love the feeling I get from making her happy. It's worth any sacrifice on my part. 
My last ex helped me with the dishes, but I think it was because she was well aware that I was incompetent XD
Although not really chorey or anything, we also baked cakes together. Her current boyfriend described me as, "The boy you'd go to to bake cakes with, not a relationship."
I found that both depressing and hilarious in the same sweep.
I do appreciate when my SO helps out in daily chores. It's something I would definitely do for them (especially when I know they're doing it wrong. My ex used to load the dishwasher all KINDS of crazy
)
I think it's very important that couples connect on the small everyday tasks because you learn to appreciate that person more.
I think it's great when my boyfriend and I share chores... He usually helps do some of my laundry if he's taking care of his own (though he hates doing laundry), and if I am doing laundry, I take some or all of his. Since we spend most of the time at his place, I help him clean up his dorm room or make his bed or something when he's got a lot to do and a sizable mess from lack of time.
It's nice support. :D
We definitely do clean together. It's kinda silly. And I love it. It's just some mundane activity that you can make special by doing it with someone else.
Although, I like doing our laundry by myself. :)
Well, right now he's in college, so I do most of the chores, and when its the other way around he will do most of the chores. It helps keep focus on our education, not the pile of dishes in the sink or floors that need mopped.
We're long distance
But when he visits, he makes my bed in the mornings!
I think if you're with someone (I mean, in the vicinity) and they're doing household chores, you should at least offer to lend a hand; it'd just be rude not to.
I go over to my friend Tyler's dorm every Sunday and help him do his laundry and "help" him take the trash out and clean up a little (i.e., I stand around and watch him do it.. he's an adult, he should be able to round up his own Walmart bags worth of garbage. :P). But he isn't my boyfriend, his girlfriend goes to a different university and he and I are just kind of good friends of convenience.
I can't say whether I would appreciate someone helping me do chores that I could just as easily and probably twice as quickly do myself..
My fiance and I try to share the chores, and we work together to keep things clean--except for the dishes. For various reasons, I end up giving up and doing them myself. It keeps the peace and we find other things to bond over
-Katie
how interesting that there is a blog on this topic. i remember just doing laundry with my bf and he turns to me and hes like "AWW we are doing laundry together now!!!" it was beyond cute i cant begin to tell u.
I was always overjoyed to do chores with my ex, and even though he usually moped through them, they also brought on lots of flirtatious fighting and so on. I loved it! There's no better time to bond than in the moments you think you're stuck doing something lame, right?
I wouldn't know since I don't live with my boyfriend, but this post reminds me about a poem by Seamus Heaney about a couple folding laundry. Can anyone relate to this or know what I'm talking about?