Dr. DatingishI go to the same Starbucks every morning and order the same thing (what can I say, I'm a creature of habit). And like every other New York internet junkie, I check the missed connections on Craigslist all the time. It's fun to see people notice and passive-aggressively pursue each other.
Anyway, I checked today's and saw a listing for someone who sounds suspiciously like me...it's my Starbucks, my drink, my hair color and I'm sure I know the barista who posted the ad. We're cordial to each other but I never really thought of him that way. Oh yeah, and I have a boyfriend, too.
Here are my options:
a) ignore the listing and take it as a compliment
b) change Starbucks
c) order a different drink to throw him off
d) send an email back saying hello but that I am taken
e) other (please specify, kthx)
Got a question for Dr. Datingish? Send it to us here!
Comments (39)
I would probably mix A and D. Unless you want to pursue this guy (and dump your boyfriend), don't tempt fate and put yourself in a bad situation.
I would go with D. I was a missed connection on Craigslist (my friend found it for me). Turns out that the guy was gay and a customer that I helped when I was working. I responded with an email, exchanged a few friendly conversation and told him eventually that I was straight. He hasn't responded to me since. Hahahah.
Wow, I never knew something like that existed...haha. It's like the new age way to find Cinderella. XD
Anyway...I also think d is good.
Wow. That's interesting.
I would go with D, for sure.
I would go with D for sure.
D
I'd do C for fun lol
A, then go back to the starbucks, casually mention your BF, put him out of his misery :)
A.
E. - i would just approach the guy and tell him that it was very flattering and what not. but you're taken and blah blah blah.
I'd pick A for two reasons..
1. I wouldn't want to put myself in a bad situation by contacting the guy 'cause some guys really have no regard for if you're in a boyfriend or not.. so why go there? Why put yourself in that position & risk your relationship?
2. If you go there every day, I think he should develop the guts to tell you in person rather than go posting it on Craigslist Missed Connections. It's only commendable if he can post AND tell you. I like guys who are daring & honest.
e) post about it on datingish ;)
e) I'd get to know the guy anyway, see what he's like. You never know, he might be someone who suits you more.
I agree with A...he has a crush on you. Don't dash his hopes and dreams...just go back in, order your usual, maybe bring your boyfriend in one time or buy something saying you're buying it for your boyfriend.
I was in the same situation, only I was in class with the guy. Hes cool and all, and I made sure I let him know this, no reason to deflate an ego. Just let the person know you really are flattered, and don't stop going there, unless it gets increasingly awkward. Nothing wrong with making new friends! Or, pretend you never saw it and bring in your boyfriend and make sure you say hi to said barista while making it obvious that you are enamored with your significant other; no need to go tongue dancing all over eachother but a kiss or holding hands would be sufficient to let a certain someone known you're taken. I like my second option better. Do that.
D sounds like the best choice. closure is always good.
had never known about this part of craigslist before... very interesting!
And I would do D...
I want to say D. Unless it really wasn't me, and then I would just be embarrassed. :)
So with that possibility, A seems like a good choice. It will give him closure when you come in with your boyfriend.
C sounds fun.
e) Print out the missed connection page, be absolutely sure you've confirmed it is you, bring said prinout page to starbucks and ask if he is the one posted said ad.
Watch reaction. Be sure to be loud.
never assume anything, what if it wasn't him.. haha.. and what if it's directed to someone else who orders exactly the same thing as you, you know it's small world.. if i were you, i'll pick c and pretend you knew nothing about it... i'm just kind of curious what he'll do. do you think he'll change his ads?
A, you arent interested so what good would come of it? If you aren't interested you should be with your bf. In the end, this guy ends up getting disappointed. You might feel flattered but he won't. If you were interested, then I would say D, but instead of the bf part it would be different.
But you have a bf, I'd like to hope you are an honest person. So do A and stop entertaining yourself with other peoples feelings.
A. Wow, you guys check missed connections in NY? That's a funny tradition. I'm guessing it's where you have a connection with someone but aren't able to get their contact info? Interesting. Honestly though, if it was a missed connection, doesn't that mean the poster would have put it up because they wouldn't anticipate bumping into you again?
I'd pick A. It avoids a potentially awkward conversation/email and allows him to save face.
And then do C just for grins. It can't hurt. I recommend the Cinnamon Latte, by the way...
@SeiGe_Jet@xanga - funny but could be sooo bad.. especially if it wasnt him. That would cause her to be so much more embarrassed and then make the sitution that much more awkward.
missed connections could be someone you've met but never got the 411, but I believe in most cases there'd have been flirty glances exchanged but little or no contact. had never thought of posting on CL to my recent contact until reading this... posted before for non-contact scenario but never got a response. thanks for the suggestion! d:o)