This is a guest blog submitted by aimeeanne. Lately there has been a lot of coupling up going on. Nothing new there. But what is annoying me beyond reason are things like this:
"Awww, congrats on not being single anymore!"
"Aww... yay for having a boyfriend!!"
"Congrats!! I'm so happy for youuuu!"
'kay. There's nothing wrong with being happy for said couple. However. Since when did getting a boyfriend/girlfriend become something one gets congratulated for? It's not an engagement. They might break up. There's no permanent commitment involved. It's just, "we're seeing each other," and the world must congratulate them?
And excuse me, "Congrats on not being single any more"?! As if singleness is some kind of lower form of existence, a plague, a horrific revolting calamity?
Why not just say, "Awww, congrats that a man has finally found you attractive!" or "Yay! A man finally thinks you're worth his time! Go you!" or better yet, "Woo-hoo! There IS a man on this planet who is not entirely weirded out by your eccentric ways. This deserves a celebration!"
No. Come on. Engagement, that deserves congratulations. And marriage. And a pregnancy. But dating? Mere happiness is quite enough for such an occasion.
If I see one more Facebook comment like the ones above, I just might give up all hope for my generation. Do people really view singleness as such a gross place in life?
Sure, I'd LOVE to be in a relationship or be married. But for crying out loud, I have not SO lost hope in myself that I would consider it a big accomplishment for a man to want to date me. I'm just rather intent on waiting for the right man. And when he comes along, I hope people will be happy for me.
But I don't want to be congratulated till we've chosen to commit to each other that we are going to spend the rest of our days together. That is an accomplishment. A marriage even more so (obviously).
But any nincompoop can find/have a boyfriend. Some change 'em like seasons. Most go through them like socks.
That is not a congratulatory offense.
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Comments (178)
I totally agree...but I guess people want to say something about it.
omg i agree. it's really annoying to hear people comment "yay" or "aw man" to a relationship status being changed on facebook, other than ACTUAL engagement, not the BS some people pull to show how best-friend-y they are, and then they'll switch to someone else in a month. i think facebook should really change the commenting functions, because now we can comment on EVERYTHING, and it's dumb.
People are dumb.
Simple as that.
A friend of mine went through a really tough break-up, and a long period of being sad and lonely, so when he finally found someone who made him happy again, I saw it as cause to celebrate. I think in that situation, congratulations are in order.
hahaha! This cracked me up. So thanks. Good post.
That's why Facebook official relationships often don't last too long. And folks who are engaged or married break up. I'd congratulate a friend in a relationship but I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it. I'd only give them props because almost everyone I know IS single & to get somebody is an acheivement.
@ToxicWishes@xanga - agreed. and then there is the friend who is always asking you if you are doing okay with that person, like they expect you to break up at any minute....ugh!
People who change boyfriends/girlfriends like they do underwear are NOT worthy of congratulations.. That's just ridiculous.
However, those that really wait before dating or getting into a relationship, especially if it's someone's first & they're well into their 20s, that's worthy of some sort of celebration..
I totally agree with you, which is why I am not a big fan on anniversaries. I just celebrated my third year anniversary with my SO and I didn't want to make a big deal about it. Also, some couples who have been together for a long time are not always the happiest. I'll get excited when I can say I've been with someone for over 50 years and am still happy. Anyone can find a relationship, but it takes a certain amount of effort to really stay in a happy and healthy relationship.
"Awww, congrats that a man has finally found you attractive!"
hahahahahahahhahaha oh man, if i weren't at work, i would be laughing so hard right now!
i, too, laugh when i see those comments.
Congratulations are for graduations, promotions, marriages, and babies.
you've gotta be content without someone first, once you realize that you don't need anyone to validate you, then you're ready for a relationship. those who get congratulated probably really wanted to be with someone and hated singleness, because they are dependent on others. with that in mind, you already have one up on them because you're able to love singleness if things don't work out with your next relationship.
the congrats on not being single is just amazingly offensive T_T people make too much of a deal of non-serious dating... ::rolls eyes::
Well, if you were looking for someone special and succeeded in finding someone you really like, I think congratulations might be in order. However, I have seen cases where I've been tempted to ask "Where'd you find him/her?" And we're talking a lot more than just looks here! ;)
being single is the best!
oddly enough, in the last 2 weeks, every married friend of mine has tried to "set me up" with someone. and i've told them all to just back off... cuz i'm perfectly happy being single. i'm not in a mad rush to find someone. and when the right guy comes along, maybe we'll hook up. but i'm not about to embark on a quest for a bf. that's just silly!
"Awww, congrats that a man has finally found you attractive!"
if *anyone* ever said this to me, i'd respond with "Awwww, congrats that your foot has once again found it's way into your mouth!"
This is very true, I've seen my friends congratulate others and two weeks later, the two people who are dating have split. You can't take all the dating that occurs between people in their teens as serious. I do admit that there are a few, but most don't last for a month, or should I say one week?
I think the real congratulations goes to you. Congrats on being single...for going through life of one accord rather than two. That's beautiful. People with their new boyfriends, new girlfriends only have jade to gain, really. So....they lose. You win. Woot!
I never say congrats, I only tell them that I’m happy for them. It’s short and it’s not getting overly excited about something that has nothing to do with you.
If being single is a disease, get me to the hospital, because I'm dangerously ill.
Maybe I can meet some hot nurses. :)
The biggest  problem I have with the relationship comments is that you do them SO PEOPLE WILL NOTICE.
It's one of those: Look! I care SO MUCH MORE about friend A than you--so much that I took great care in making sure she feels totally comfortable in the beginnings of her new relationship by commenting on it in FB where everyone can see it. Aren't I great?
moments.
haha sounds like somebody is a bit bitter and wants to be congratulated themselves! =p
You're right, though. Being single is in no way a lesser form of existence than being in a relationship. People often forget that not being in a relationship is sometimes better!
But at the same time, I think it does take a little bit of maturity to sit down and say "I want to share my life with this person" it means you're either mature enough to not be insecure....or insecure enough to need the comfort of somebody else by your side. le sigh life is confusing hahaa
Great entry. You are forgiven for your last one
I can understand congratulating a couple on getting together, because it is exciting and they want to say something. I don't think that is supposed to be meant as a form of surprise that the person actually got a date.
Congratulations on not being single anymore is annoying, though. There's nothing wrong with not having an SO attached to your hip at all times. We don't say "congratulations on being single again" when someone breaks up, so why congratulate them on not being single anymore when they find an SO?
It's always a good thing to have found someone that you're compatible with, someone that can make you happy, etc. And yea, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single, but at the same time, your friends are simply happy that you've found someone that you can share common interests with on a different level. People ARE genuinely happy for their friends when they meet someone. Admit it, we all get a little giddy and excited when we meet someone awesome. We go around gushing about it. And that vibe feeds off to your friends too. And dont be a hypocrite, you probably say the same things to your friends too when they get a boyfriend.
"And when he comes along, I hope people will be happy for me." -- how else do you expect people to be happy for you? They're gonna tell you CONGRATS! ?????
@eyesochinky@xanga - I can honestly say that I have never congratulated someone for getting a boyfriend. Also, being happy for someone is more of an act, and can be done without offering words of congratulations.