Mr.
Lion"I can't marry a guy who has no culture."
I heard those words and instantly became interested. This came from a girl that dates guys of all different races. She's Nepalese and wants a guy who can share his culture and background with her, because most American-born guys don't have any culture or have lost touch with it. She made a great point and I agree. Most Americans don't have a culture or have a very diluted cultural background because they've had generations of families in this country.
I've dated girls that are both American-born without a strong sense of cultural upbringing and those who stayed very involved with their respective cultures. There's a stark difference: Those with cultural backgrounds keep conversations very interesting with their stories, personal anecdotes and food, and I learn something new every time. It's wonderful to learn about a different culture from someone who practices it. Dating someone without a cultural background sometimes feels like dating every other person, but with a different face and attitude. So I do understand what this girl said; it is much more interesting to be engulfed in someone's culture. To learn about it, enjoy it and appreciate is an adventure in its own.
Do most Americans have a diluted cultural background?
Does it matter to you if the person you're dating has a strong cultural background? Why or why not?
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Comments (150)
Mmmm.... not sure how much I'd totally agree. Yes it is interesting to learn about different cultures and I wouldn't mind having friends like that. But compatibility plays a big role in relationship and culture can sometimes get in the way of that. Just depends on how much cultural difference there really is and how much importance the other person places on their culture and also how much it effects day to day life. It can create a lot of stress and head/heartache between the two people if culture is a major part of their life and you dont' quite mesh with that culture.
i'm interested in moroccan/berber culture, and it'd be such an experience to have someone to share that with me, just spices it up i guess :D and you're so right, you do learn a lot !!
and it's so not attractive, to be of a certain origin and not know your roots/cultures/traditions etc; gotta keep true to where you came from and spread it :)
This is a very pretentious use of the term "cultural background". Americans DO have a cultural background, it's just the cultural background of consumerism, broken public schooling, parties, and television. Every single society that has a "way of life" has culture, and like it or not, we're part of it to some degree. Your friend wants some one with an exotic or traditional cultural background.
I think that has become the American culture! lol
@FireMapleSong@xanga - TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU!!
@FireMapleSong@xanga - I'm a little offended at the "broken public schooling" comment being a product of public educators and the public school system, but for the most part, I too find it pretentious to act as if people born in America have lost culture, especially when we live in a country as large and diverse as this. I have lived in California my whole life, but the place I grew up is vastly different from where I live now, and it's not even two hours driving distance away. It sounds like this person isn't interested in finding a partner, but rather enjoys some sort of facade of being able to take what she wants from peoples' "cultures" so she can make herself feel more enlightened or something.
I don't know about American sense of culture.
I just know that I wouldn't like to have beside me someone who uses her brain as an ant and, and that's bad, doesn't do anything to improve herself (as I try to do with myself).
Hey, it isn't my fault y'all dont' think that the American culture is interesting.
Well when it comes to down to it, are you more interested in the culture or the person? It seems wrong just to date someone because you want to eat their food and learn their stories rather than get to know the person.
@IfIWereAchilles@xanga - Haha, I spent some years in private and some years in public. Public school was a blast, but the education...I dunno. Maybe you had a better one than me (isn't that funny? How you can get "good ones" and "bad ones" in our public school system? Imagine if we had public healthcare and you could get "good ones" and "bad ones" when being prescribed medicine).
But yes, I agree that this sounds like intellectual elitism disguised as a respect for multi-culturalism. Mr. Lion's friend must be "so post-modern"
Um. Everyone grows up with culture. This post is so ignorant. AMERICANS HAVE CULTURE, TOO. That said, I don't really care what culture my potential dates will have been raised in. I do care what pieces of that culture they choose to continue in their lives, and what pieces they chose to discard as inappropriate.
Americans do have a culture, but it isn't as strong as the others and it isn't as deeply rooted. I would prefer someone with a stronger cultural background, like you said, they are more interesting....but I can not date someone who isn't cultured, who's ignorant about other's culture. Having a minority for a bus driver or even as a classmate, does not count.
Define Culture...
Are you saying is that Americans are devoid of culture, or are you too closed minded to possibly think that there is more to culture than tribal dances.
American is rich in culture, and you may not like it but it is. To say that we don't have a culture is to say that we lifeless organisms incapable of change and growth. Incapable of learning and being. So before you make remarks about the lack of culture that Americans have you might want to define what exactly it is that you are looking for, and what culture means to you.
I am an American and i have culture (African American to be exact!)...its different from some one from Peru, but then again i am an American. Are you being stereotypical? Because if so it speaks volumes about what you think you know. This is a blogging community so people can speak there minds, i wont say anything to that, but to say that Americans don't have culture or to view American culture as a bunch of silly superficial trends, then i could understand why you wouldn't date an American, and quite frankly why any American wouldn't want to date you.
Not trying to be a jerk but this just offended me a little.
=[
I'm not offended but I'm not that happy about being thought of someone with no culture.Â
I don't know where my ancestors came from, except for the various Chocotaw and Irish forefathers on my mom's side of the family.
I don't mean to bring race into what I'm about to say, but I will.Â
I've always been envious of my white/Latino/African/Asian friends who know for a fact where they came from and what countries. I don't have that, at all. In grade school we did this ancestry project where everyone put pushpins into what countries their families came from.Â
I didn't know where we came from, and so my teacher just told me "to pick a random country in Africa". And so I did. (Yay Kenya)
It's not something I'm all militant about, but when this subject comes up I don't know what to think because I'l be sitting there going "well my mom's from Oklahoma and her family's on the Indian registry but other than that I don't know what we are,,,"
Anyways as someone who doesn't know much anything about her family pre-1900, all I can say is that American culture is my culture. It may not be cool or exotic or different, but it's what I am.
@CiaoBella810@xanga - I'm not that offended but it's just annoying. Especially because I'm an anthropology major lol.
I am deeply in love, but my boyfriend does not have a deep sense of cultural background, and unfortunately, neither do I...... For African Americans, considering we were kidnapped from our countries so many years ago, it's hard to have a deep knowledge of our true culture. I understand where a woman saying that would come from, I think anyone would like to be rich in culture if they had the choice.
I so agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Personally I prefer someone with a cultural background. This does not mean that they have to know exactly where they came from but they should be interested in getting to know other cultures, they should know things about them and want to travel. I was seeing a guy about one year ago and he had left the city we live in a couple times throughout his life to go to the neighboring state and he was not interested in traveling anywhere else, ever. As soon as he said that I knew that I couldn't date him. That is just so boring!!!!!!! I grew up in Europe and I have traveled a lot. I just don't understand people who never want to leave their country. I feel like there are a lot of them here in the US. When I first came here some of the kids in my school asked me if we had televisions and toilets back in Germany. I thought that was really sad. I can only date someone who is interested in experiencing other cultures. It doesn't matter if it is at a later age because of money and such but the interest has to be there! The same thing would count too, if I was in Germany and the person wouldn't ever want to leave it. I just know a lot of people here who haven't left the country and aren't planning on it.
I think American culture just seems diluted because it's so common in the US. It's not that they don't have a culture, it's just a culture that doesn't seem very exotic in the US.
Having said that, I tend to prefer European guys to American guys. I don't know why exactly, I just like European culture better than American culture. I think part of it is because it's fun to learn about someone who grew up differently than I did. And the idea of combining cultural practices sounds fun, too. For instance, the guy I am interested in right now is from Sweden. Last year, we were comparing Christmas customs. His family celebrates on the 24th and then again on the 26th. My family celebrates on the 25th. So if we start dating, that means three days of partying! :P
And it's really fun that unlike American guys, he doesn't think I'm that tall, because in Sweden, it's not that weird for a woman to be my height like it is in the US. (I'm about 5'8") That's so refreshing.
But I agree with the person who said that you shouldn't date someone just to eat their food and learn their customs. It's not like I want to date every European guy I see. It's just that the last few I have had any romantic interest in have been European. And it's not that I wouldn't date an American guy. I just haven't been attracted to one in about 3 years.
America has just grown to be melting pot of many many cultures now. So it's not that some people don't have culture at all. It's just that some don't lean towards a specific culture and goes all out with it.
I think that this girl is just saying that she doesn't consider whole "Americana" thing a culture. (the country music, the outdoors, manual labor, farms etc.) But that's what this country was built upon. We've been very accepting of many others as well. :)
@AnonymousBlonde@xanga - That would be my response too. Are you dating a culture or a person?
@EccentricSiren@xanga - European guys. *drool* :)
I like experiencing different cultures too. I'm open to anything and everything.
I was born in Dominica before I moved to the US who was ruled by the British until we were emancipated in about '73 (I think) So we still have that British culture. We still spell things like "centre" and we have the little "shoppes" and all. The family owned bars, (like my grandma's) It is so adorable. You can get arrested for being unruly in town. (we have one big town and the rest of the island is mostly residential and little shops and it is soooo green. So we have that "small town" atmosphere to it to. Which I love. Dominica is located in the Carribean so we have a mix of Hispanic countries and other islands. And we speak a mixed Creole language of French, English and Dutch. alot of us are mixed with Indian, German, African, French, and British. And maybe some Asian. I have no idea what I'm mixed with :P
This is a strange statement coming from someone such as myself, made even stranger by the fact that I CAME here, because I can honestly say I've never been in an actual relationship. Granted, being 18 and all, I still have a LOT of time in which to find a person I feel comfortable with, but as long as there's a question to answer, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot.
Culturally, I don't think a person has to have a BACKGROUND for me to be interested, but if I'm going to have a relationship with that person I'd at least like them to be culturally TOLERABLE. This doesn't even mean attending cultural events, no no, but just accepting that there are cultural differences and uniqueness present every day, both in our country and in the rest of the world. I have very little tolerance for people who bash or condescend on those with separate cultural influences than themselves, because it's DUE to this cultural mixing that we have all the luxuries and opportunities that we do today. Games from Japan, customs and holidays from Europe, and LORD KNOWS the vastness of food we have at our disposal (and sadly, that often finds its way INTO the "disposal") - all of this is because of the very people who reside within and outside of our borders.
So does this affect my feelings towards a potential mate? Perhaps, but as long as they UNDERSTAND the prospect of culture, their own culture has no effect on my final disposition.
In any case, thanks for dropping by my site! Hopefully something might interest you enough to earn a comment! :D
People seem to forget that the US has a culture completely unique to itself. Everybody just seems to lose focus of what's right in front of us everyday! I think Thanksgiving is a good example of American culture! It's cool to be exposed to different background and traditions, but just because they're heritage isn't from another country doesn't mean they don't have a cultural background.