Miss Double ShotI
babysit an eight-year-old girl pretty consistently, and she's always
grilling me about why I'm not married yet even though I'm only 23. Last
week she noticed that I was wearing a ring on my ring finger and
freaked out.
"Why didn't you tell me you got married?!"
Of
course, I didn't . . . I had been playing with it absentmindedly
beforehand and didn't notice which finger I'd put it on. It made me
think, though, about when I first moved here to NYC and wore a cheap
(but shiny!) ring on my ring finger to ward off unwanted attention.
I'm
not a fan of confrontation at all, especially romantically. I've
pretended to only speak French if skeezy guys try to talk to me because
apparently I can't say, "sorry, I have a boyfriend" and sound
convincing. Wearing a ring was a silent way to keep people away from me
- and I was shocked to see that it actually worked! I also liked the
way it felt, as weird as that sounded - it was like my own little
secret that kept people away.
It was more of a placebo than
anything else, because when I finally took it off a couple weeks later,
nobody treated me any differently. And, looking back on it, it's kind
of a presumptuous move - you assume that people will be hitting on you
- but at the time, it was more of a preemptive strike against whatever
could come my way.
Do you look for a ring before you talk to or hit on someone? Would you
ever consider wearing jewelry to ward off potential suitors?
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Comments (157)
I thought about wearing a ring to keep away creepy guys at clubs. Just couldn't find one that's convincing though.
I wouldn't wear a ring to scare off people. Im blunt with the, "I've a boyfriend" or "I'm not interested"
Xo
I do look to see if a guy is wering a ring (not that it matters sometimes).
I also have a fake engagement and wedding ring I wear. Hasn't stopped anyone from hitting on me though. In fact, there were times that it was worse.
I get hit on more (by the sleazes) when I wear a ring than not!
Wearing a ring really doesn't matter. I wear a ring all the time and I have had to tell people I am married. Maybe it's the look on my face like "get the f*** away from me" once I tell them, but that seems to be the only thing that works.
I would not wear a ring, if I was either taken or in a relationship, however if I did a have a girlfriend and she wanted me to wear some sort of ring I would go with it.
I would look for a ring on a female.
If I meet a girl that catches my attention, the first thing I do is to check for the ring...the last thing I want to do is to become interested in someone's wife and I definitely don't want to be a home-wrecker neither.
so what happen if you meet someone you like but he thinks you're married? wouldn't your trick ward off potential interests?
i never look for someone's ring... i just assume all women are in relationships.
Ah, I never look for a ring. I mean the girl always seems to take priority over what she wears. I do notice earrings though.
I used to wear a promise ring on my left ring finger and it did keep some (thought not all) guys away. Granted the main stone was a ruby so it was somewhat clear it wasn't a wedding ring. But it still helped some to keep some guys away.
It's a good idea - I ought to try it.
@JessxMaxine@xanga - I'm always very blunt telling them that I'm taken and "No, thank you." It very rarely seems to stop them.
I have worn a ring on that finger for well over 2 yrs now, and it has done its job. So I do think that a lot of guys do pay attention to the ring finger. Not all, but most. The ring I wear is definitely not a wedding ring looking ring. It's a copper snake. So the way I see it, it could be a conversation starter. I imagine someone with some insightfulness in their skills toolbox (who would also otherwise be interested in me) will at least approach and inquire. But that's also just the story I tell myself on how I see meeting someone potentially interesting.... at least while I'm not actively pursuing dating. When I get back in the dating mode, I'll more than likely put the ring on a different finger - and it can still be the subject of a conversation (there's a lot of meaning behind it).
i have a ring for some other commitment, but i noticed that if he/she's going to hit on you, it really doesn't matter what you have on your hand. even if you have a michael jackson glove on your hand, if he's into you, he'll come over and talk to you.
I wore a ring for a while when i worked at a restaurant. I worked the late shift and on the weekends and the drunks would come in and I'd get hit on. I was just tired of explaining that I had a boyfriend and I wasn't interested or to leave me alone. They would either not mention anything or they'd say, "aww you're married? dang it." Haha, so yeah, been there done that. It works. For the most part.
I usually check a guy's ring finger before I get too into checking him out
When one of my friends was engaged to his now-wife, he was going to Japan for several months. His fiance was so paranoid that someone was going to hit on him that she bought him a gold band and told him he had to wear it at all times over ther...even though they didn't get married until AFTER he'd returned. She's a little crazy!
My boyfriend would have A LOT to say about his one. He and I both wear rings, and since he started wearing his, he notices that women are less affectionate and generally people treat him with a greater sense of respect. He's getting his ring resized so he's currently without a ring, and he has been complaining about how people won't respect his "personal bubble"--he insists this is because he lacks a ring.Â
I wear a ring all the time but no one really notices or cares. As a female I think it matters little. However, I wear a claddagh and he wears a titanium wedding band-like ring. Maybe because mine has a symbol, it is less potent as a ward against flirters.
My friend notes that men don't usually wear rings either--so when you see one who does, you always take notice.
I used to wear a lot of rings, including on my ring finger. None of them look like wedding rings though, it just looks like I wear a lot of rings. But I could almost count on guys assuming I was married. One guy said, "You're married, right?" before asking me out. I hate assumptions.
at the university i go to, more than half the graduates are already married or engaged. EVERYONE has fake rings. it's perfect for if you have a boyfriend, or are just not interested in looking for the moment.Â
my boyfriend bought me a fake ring to keep other guys away, and it totally works. i don't think it's dishonest or unfair at all, especially when you're already with someone. it just saves you the trouble of having to explain that you're not interested.
doesnt even cross my mind to tell u the truth. lolz
I wouldn't do it, but then again I have no problem saying "no." I have every right to be left alone if I don't want to be bothered, and I have no problem telling someone that. It's totally possible to do that without being rude.
I look for a ring if I think a guy is cute or interesting or possible dating material, but won't effect whether I talk to him or not.
i used to wear a ring on my ring finger when i went clubbing. hahaha i still do sometimes. but then again, i also like to "accessorize" :D
I had a female friend who would wear a ring when she went clubbing and if any creepers tried dancing up on her she would show the ring without saying anything and the guy would get the message.
I look for rings when I think about it but some married people don't wear rings and some unmarried people do. When I met my ex-girlfriend she had a ring on and wore it through our relationship. I think she thought it would keep creepers away but that nice guys would still be interested in her as a friend. Kinda put the ball in her court.
That 8-year-old is strangely obsessed about marriage.
@kaleidescopeeyes88@xanga - she is! I know I'm in a twentysomething limbo between post-grad life and married life, but I think she assumes that all grown-ups (that is, people who are taller than her mom and have jobs) have to be married.